gemini - TAEYEONSUNDAES

BLK's Review Shop ACHIEVE
--BLK'S--
--REVIEWS-
 
 
REMINDER
    ////////////
BONUS: I TRIED TO ANSWER EVERYTHING IN YOUR REVIEW BUT IF YOU STILL HAVE A QUESTION ABOUT IT, FEEL FREE TO PM ME.
 
 
 
♦FEEL FREE TO MESSAGE US PERSONALLY WITH ANY CONCERNS. 
♦ PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO CREDIT OUR SHOP'S LOGO/BANNER IN YOUR STORY'S FOREWORD!
♦ THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING BLK
REVIEWS AND FOR YOUR PATIENCE! HOPE TO SEE YOU VISIT AGAIN.
 
 
TAEYEONSUNDAES
REQUEST ON: 11/15/15
REVIEWER: BLACKROSESTEARS
FINISHED ON: 11/25/15
SCORE: 96/100
TITLE: (7/10)
LOGICAL (3/3) - THE TITLE DOES MAKE SENSE TOGETHER WITH THE PLOT OF THE STORY AND IT IS EASY TO SEE IT BECAUSE YOU EXPLAINED THE MEANING OF GEMINI IN YOUR FOREWORD. 
EYE-CATCHING (2/3) - IT IS NOT REALLY AN EYE-CATCHING TITLE FOR ME BECAUSE THERE ARE MANY OTHER STORIES WITH THE SAME TITLE OR A SIMILAR ONE SO IT WAS NOT REALLY OUTSTANDING.
ORIGINAL (2/4) - I ALREADY MENTIONED IT ABOVE: YOUR TITLE IS NOT SOMETHING SPECIAL, THERE ARE OTHER STORIES WITH THE SAME TITLE SO THAT TAKES AWAY THE ORIGINALITY OF YOUR STORY.
 
STORY'S FOREWORD/DESCRIPTION (10/10)
STORY'S SUMMARY (5/5) - YOUR FOREWORD IS SHORT AND DOESN'T REVEAL TOO MUCH OF THE STORY ALREADY. IT MADE ME CURIOUS ABOUT THE PLOT OF THE STORY AND WHAT EXACTLY WILL HAPPEN IN IT.
APPEARANCE (5/5) - OVERALL IT LOOKS PRETTY NEAT AND HAS A GOOD STRUCTURE.
 
CHARACTERS/CASTS (10/10)
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT (5/5) - YOUR CHARACTERS ARE REALLY WARM PEOPLE THAT MAKES IT EASY TO LIKE THEM.
SEULGI IS A HARD WORKING PERSON THAT SEEMS TO LOVE HER WORK REALLY MUCH  BECAUSE SHE IS ABLE TO REMEMBER WHAT THE CUSTOMERS BOUGHT FROM HER WHICH IS PRETTY IMPRESSIVE AND NOT EVERYBODY IS ABLE TO DO THAT. SHE LIKES CUTE, SWEET THINGS AND IS THE SUN OF YOONGI. SHE LOVES HER BOYFRIEND REALLY MUCH WHICH IS EASY TO SEE IN HER ACTIONS AND THOUGHTS ABOUT HIM.
YOONGI LOVES HIS GIRLFRIEND JUST AS MUCH AS SHE LOVES HIM. HE ALSO KNOWS HER REALLY WELL BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHAT SHE LIKES. HE THINKS ABOUT HER WHEN SHE IS NOT WITH HIM AND EVEN THOUGH HE DOESN'T LIKE HORROR MOVIES, HE STILL WATCHES THEM BECAUSE OF SEULGI WHO IS HIS MOON.
CHARACTER'S RELATIONS (5/5) - FOR THEIR RELATION I HAVE TO SAY THAT THEY ARE A REALLY CUTE COUPLE THAT SHOWED IN EVERY SENTENCES THAT THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. THEY ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER THAT YOU JUST HAVE TO LIKE THEM AND TO COW OVER THEM. THE WAY YOU WROTE ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND DESCRIBED IT WAS REALLY GOOD TOO.
 
THE AUTHOR'S MINDSET (39/40)
LOGICALLY (10/10) - OVERALL ALL THERE IS NOTHING THAT DIDN'T MAKE SENSE WHILE READING OR WAS CONFUSING. 
ORIGINALITY (9/10) - IT IS NOT REALLY AN ORIGINAL PLOT BECAUSE IT IS LIKE THE TYPICAL PLOT OF A STORY THAT IS MOSTLY FLUFF BASED.
TONE (5/5) - THE MOOD OF THE STORY WAS MAINLY FLUFF, CUTE AND LIGHT AND YOU WERE ABLE TO SHOW THAT REALLY GOOD.
NARRATION (5/5) - THE STORY WAS WRITTEN IN THE POVS OF SEULGI AND YOONGI. YOU DIDN'T CHANGE THEM TOO OFTEN OR SUDDENLY JUMPED IN THE POV OF ONE OF THEM INTO THE ONE OF THE OTHER PERSON.
STORYLINE (10/10) - YOUR BEGINNING IS REALLY NICE TO READ, IT SHOWS US FROM THE START THAT YOONGI AND SEULGI ARE A HAPPY COUPLE THAT LOVES EACH OTHER DEARLY. AND IT CONTINUED LIKE THAT THROUGH THE WHOLE STORY. I WAS ABLE TO SEE THEIR LOVE IN EVERY LITTLE THING THEY DID LIKE WHEN SEULGI WAS WITH HER FRIENDS TALKING AND EATING OR WHEN YOONGI BOUGHT HER A TEDDY BEAR BECAUSE HE THOUGHT SHE WOULD LIKE IT. THE MOST ROMANTIC PART WAS OF COURSE WHEN YOONGI WAS SINGING A SONG FOR SEULGI, IT IS SOMETHING MANY GIRLS WOULD LIKE TO GET FROM THEIR OWN BOYFRIEND.
YOUR WRITING STYLE IS NICE TOO, YOU EXPLAIN THINGS WELL AND I WAS ABLE TO CONNECT WITH YOUR CHARACTERS AND THE THINGS THAT HAPPENED THROUGH THE STORY.
THERE WERE THE TYPICAL ELEMENTS OF A SHORT STORY IN IT LIKE YOU SHOWED A DAY OF THEIR LIFE WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THIS DAY IS FREE FOR THE READER TO USE THEIR OWN FANTASY. THE FLOW WAS ALSO REALLY GOOD BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T RUSH THROUGH THEIR DAY BUT TOOK YOUR TIME TO DELIVER THE FEELINGS OF THE TWO GOOD.
 
PROPER USE OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (25/25)
PROPER GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION (10/10) - YOUR GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION WAS REALLY GOOD, I WAS NOT ABLE TO FIND ANY BIG MISTAKES WHILE READING YOUR STORY.
TERMINOLOGY (5/5) - YOUR VOCABULARY WAS GOOD TOO BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T USE WORDS THAT COULD BE HARD TO UNDERSTAND FOR NON NATIVE ENGLISH SPEAKER BUT YOU ALSO DIDN'T USE THE SAME WORDS OR PHRASES ALL OVER AGAIN AND AGAIN.
LANGUAGE BARRIER (10/10) - THERE WAS NO OVERUSE OF THE KOREAN LANGUAGE IN YOUR STORY.
 
REVIEWER'S ENJOYMENT (5/5)
OVERALL IT WAS NICE TO READ YOUR STORY BECAUSE OF THE WAY YOU WROTE IT. I LIKE YOUR WRITING STYLE AND HOW YOU DESCRIBED THE FEELINGS IN YOUR STORY DETAILED SO I ENJOYED READING YOUR STORY.
Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
WooGyu_KyuSung_YooSu
#1
One more thing. I know the Description and the forward are super long. But I planned this story to be like a Novella/Soap Opera.
It may seem like I'm giving away to much in the Description and The Forward, but as you realize you might notice that I haven't.
There are three main parts to this story:
The Past-Childhood
The Past- Orphans/Teens
The Present- The main setting, in which the forward revealed nothing.

I'm an interactive author, meaning I ask questions at the end and leave hints here and there for the readers to try there best at guessing. (They become more invested in my story this way, lol)
WooGyu_KyuSung_YooSu
#2
-Username : WooGyu_KyuSung_YooSu
-Profile link : http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/49463

- Story title : Love Me Right
- Story link : http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/976222/love-me-right-mpreg-hunhan-taoris-kaisoo-sulay-chanbaek-chenmin

-Genre : OT12, Angst, Mpreg, Fluff, Comedy, Growth, Friendship, Life, and "LEARNING TO LOVE"

- On-going | To be a long fic.

- Reviewer : KaihleeLo

- So The title of the fic is "Love Me Right", but it has nothing to do with the EXO song; even though some would just assume. The reason why I titled it 'Love Me Right' is because 6 of the main characters suffered in their childhood and eventually were orphaned. They don't know how to let themselves love. In particular, Luhan. As for the other 6 'Love' and 'Lust' are two different things.

- So before you read, I would like to point out, that the pacing of the story and the built up is exactly how I planned. I don't want to rush Romance because you don't 'fall in love' over night, and the characters need to mature. Also, there is a pattern to my chapters "The Past" chapters are essentially flashbacks. "The Present" is taking place now. For every 5 "The Present" chapters, it will be followed by 2 "The Past" chapters; Childhood/Teen years.

- I have a reader who offered to proofread my chapters since I had some typos, and I don't have the time to go back and fix them. "I always update between 12 am - 5 am, so that is the main reason". She is still editing the earlier chapters so please realize I am fixing the errors.


Oh gosh this was a lot. I'm sorry. I'm just really nervous, and I wanted to explain the above before you review.
-Tigress-
#3
Chapter 127: Hey can I have someone send me my review here so I can save it?
This archive is non-selectable so I can't save it myself.