gemini - TAEYEONSUNDAES
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TAEYEONSUNDAES
REQUEST ON: 11/15/15
REVIEWER: BLACKROSESTEARS
FINISHED ON: 11/25/15
SCORE: 96/100
TITLE: (7/10)
LOGICAL (3/3) - THE TITLE DOES MAKE SENSE TOGETHER WITH THE PLOT OF THE STORY AND IT IS EASY TO SEE IT BECAUSE YOU EXPLAINED THE MEANING OF GEMINI IN YOUR FOREWORD.
EYE-CATCHING (2/3) - IT IS NOT REALLY AN EYE-CATCHING TITLE FOR ME BECAUSE THERE ARE MANY OTHER STORIES WITH THE SAME TITLE OR A SIMILAR ONE SO IT WAS NOT REALLY OUTSTANDING.
ORIGINAL (2/4) - I ALREADY MENTIONED IT ABOVE: YOUR TITLE IS NOT SOMETHING SPECIAL, THERE ARE OTHER STORIES WITH THE SAME TITLE SO THAT TAKES AWAY THE ORIGINALITY OF YOUR STORY.
STORY'S FOREWORD/DESCRIPTION (10/10)
STORY'S SUMMARY (5/5) - YOUR FOREWORD IS SHORT AND DOESN'T REVEAL TOO MUCH OF THE STORY ALREADY. IT MADE ME CURIOUS ABOUT THE PLOT OF THE STORY AND WHAT EXACTLY WILL HAPPEN IN IT.
APPEARANCE (5/5) - OVERALL IT LOOKS PRETTY NEAT AND HAS A GOOD STRUCTURE.
CHARACTERS/CASTS (10/10)
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT (5/5) - YOUR CHARACTERS ARE REALLY WARM PEOPLE THAT MAKES IT EASY TO LIKE THEM.
SEULGI IS A HARD WORKING PERSON THAT SEEMS TO LOVE HER WORK REALLY MUCH BECAUSE SHE IS ABLE TO REMEMBER WHAT THE CUSTOMERS BOUGHT FROM HER WHICH IS PRETTY IMPRESSIVE AND NOT EVERYBODY IS ABLE TO DO THAT. SHE LIKES CUTE, SWEET THINGS AND IS THE SUN OF YOONGI. SHE LOVES HER BOYFRIEND REALLY MUCH WHICH IS EASY TO SEE IN HER ACTIONS AND THOUGHTS ABOUT HIM.
YOONGI LOVES HIS GIRLFRIEND JUST AS MUCH AS SHE LOVES HIM. HE ALSO KNOWS HER REALLY WELL BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHAT SHE LIKES. HE THINKS ABOUT HER WHEN SHE IS NOT WITH HIM AND EVEN THOUGH HE DOESN'T LIKE HORROR MOVIES, HE STILL WATCHES THEM BECAUSE OF SEULGI WHO IS HIS MOON.
SEULGI IS A HARD WORKING PERSON THAT SEEMS TO LOVE HER WORK REALLY MUCH BECAUSE SHE IS ABLE TO REMEMBER WHAT THE CUSTOMERS BOUGHT FROM HER WHICH IS PRETTY IMPRESSIVE AND NOT EVERYBODY IS ABLE TO DO THAT. SHE LIKES CUTE, SWEET THINGS AND IS THE SUN OF YOONGI. SHE LOVES HER BOYFRIEND REALLY MUCH WHICH IS EASY TO SEE IN HER ACTIONS AND THOUGHTS ABOUT HIM.
YOONGI LOVES HIS GIRLFRIEND JUST AS MUCH AS SHE LOVES HIM. HE ALSO KNOWS HER REALLY WELL BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHAT SHE LIKES. HE THINKS ABOUT HER WHEN SHE IS NOT WITH HIM AND EVEN THOUGH HE DOESN'T LIKE HORROR MOVIES, HE STILL WATCHES THEM BECAUSE OF SEULGI WHO IS HIS MOON.
CHARACTER'S RELATIONS (5/5) - FOR THEIR RELATION I HAVE TO SAY THAT THEY ARE A REALLY CUTE COUPLE THAT SHOWED IN EVERY SENTENCES THAT THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. THEY ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER THAT YOU JUST HAVE TO LIKE THEM AND TO COW OVER THEM. THE WAY YOU WROTE ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND DESCRIBED IT WAS REALLY GOOD TOO.
THE AUTHOR'S MINDSET (39/40)
LOGICALLY (10/10) - OVERALL ALL THERE IS NOTHING THAT DIDN'T MAKE SENSE WHILE READING OR WAS CONFUSING.
ORIGINALITY (9/10) - IT IS NOT REALLY AN ORIGINAL PLOT BECAUSE IT IS LIKE THE TYPICAL PLOT OF A STORY THAT IS MOSTLY FLUFF BASED.
TONE (5/5) - THE MOOD OF THE STORY WAS MAINLY FLUFF, CUTE AND LIGHT AND YOU WERE ABLE TO SHOW THAT REALLY GOOD.
NARRATION (5/5) - THE STORY WAS WRITTEN IN THE POVS OF SEULGI AND YOONGI. YOU DIDN'T CHANGE THEM TOO OFTEN OR SUDDENLY JUMPED IN THE POV OF ONE OF THEM INTO THE ONE OF THE OTHER PERSON.
STORYLINE (10/10) - YOUR BEGINNING IS REALLY NICE TO READ, IT SHOWS US FROM THE START THAT YOONGI AND SEULGI ARE A HAPPY COUPLE THAT LOVES EACH OTHER DEARLY. AND IT CONTINUED LIKE THAT THROUGH THE WHOLE STORY. I WAS ABLE TO SEE THEIR LOVE IN EVERY LITTLE THING THEY DID LIKE WHEN SEULGI WAS WITH HER FRIENDS TALKING AND EATING OR WHEN YOONGI BOUGHT HER A TEDDY BEAR BECAUSE HE THOUGHT SHE WOULD LIKE IT. THE MOST ROMANTIC PART WAS OF COURSE WHEN YOONGI WAS SINGING A SONG FOR SEULGI, IT IS SOMETHING MANY GIRLS WOULD LIKE TO GET FROM THEIR OWN BOYFRIEND.
YOUR WRITING STYLE IS NICE TOO, YOU EXPLAIN THINGS WELL AND I WAS ABLE TO CONNECT WITH YOUR CHARACTERS AND THE THINGS THAT HAPPENED THROUGH THE STORY.
THERE WERE THE TYPICAL ELEMENTS OF A SHORT STORY IN IT LIKE YOU SHOWED A DAY OF THEIR LIFE WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THIS DAY IS FREE FOR THE READER TO USE THEIR OWN FANTASY. THE FLOW WAS ALSO REALLY GOOD BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T RUSH THROUGH THEIR DAY BUT TOOK YOUR TIME TO DELIVER THE FEELINGS OF THE TWO GOOD.
YOUR WRITING STYLE IS NICE TOO, YOU EXPLAIN THINGS WELL AND I WAS ABLE TO CONNECT WITH YOUR CHARACTERS AND THE THINGS THAT HAPPENED THROUGH THE STORY.
THERE WERE THE TYPICAL ELEMENTS OF A SHORT STORY IN IT LIKE YOU SHOWED A DAY OF THEIR LIFE WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THIS DAY IS FREE FOR THE READER TO USE THEIR OWN FANTASY. THE FLOW WAS ALSO REALLY GOOD BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T RUSH THROUGH THEIR DAY BUT TOOK YOUR TIME TO DELIVER THE FEELINGS OF THE TWO GOOD.
PROPER USE OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (25/25)
PROPER GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION (10/10) - YOUR GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION WAS REALLY GOOD, I WAS NOT ABLE TO FIND ANY BIG MISTAKES WHILE READING YOUR STORY.
TERMINOLOGY (5/5) - YOUR VOCABULARY WAS GOOD TOO BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T USE WORDS THAT COULD BE HARD TO UNDERSTAND FOR NON NATIVE ENGLISH SPEAKER BUT YOU ALSO DIDN'T USE THE SAME WORDS OR PHRASES ALL OVER AGAIN AND AGAIN.
LANGUAGE BARRIER (10/10) - THERE WAS NO OVERUSE OF THE KOREAN LANGUAGE IN YOUR STORY.
REVIEWER'S ENJOYMENT (5/5)
OVERALL IT WAS NICE TO READ YOUR STORY BECAUSE OF THE WAY YOU WROTE IT. I LIKE YOUR WRITING STYLE AND HOW YOU DESCRIBED THE FEELINGS IN YOUR STORY DETAILED SO I ENJOYED READING YOUR STORY.
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