My Angel Is a Werewolf

Reviewer: dhaatk
Review for: Dana_1004

Requested on: 30/05/2015
Finished On: 04/06/2015

NOTE: One-shot (Spoiler Alert)

(6/10) Title: The chosen title could be described as original and quite intriguing. The fact of a werewolf playing the role of an angel is gripping and a bit haunting. It encourages the reader to open the story, but by the end of it, he or she is left disappointed. Basically the problem with this title is that the werewolf is not shown as an angel.

(6/10) Character: It is always pleasant when there are not too many characters, especially in one-shots. It does not distract readers and they are able to concentrate on each character. However, in this one-shot two main characters are not different enough. If what they say and what they do were switched, it would not make any difference. If Sehun's name was put after Luhan's words, the reader would not see anything wrong with it. Also, none of other characters are outstanding and that is a bit of a problem.

(8/10) Originality: Love story of a vampire and a werewolf is not totally new and usually it is viewed as a cliché. Also, hints of forbidden love are present throughout the storyline. Both of these things are hard to be put in frames of originality, but there are other things that make this story stand out. For example, characteristics of vampires, like their eye colour or how they become vampires in the first place.

(27/40) Storyline/Plot: There are some nice elements of this plot, but in general it is more bad than good. It is really great how Luhan's powers are given additional description. For example, how he sees dusts and compares them to snowflakes. Or how he notices a small ant in big wood. However, events happen too quickly. Yes, this is a one-shot, it is supposed to be short, but not galloping. For instance, one paragraph is about Luhan being rather lonely in the school, then in another Tao is his very good friend and even introduces his boyfriend to Luhan. Speaking of Tao's boyfriend, please mind the way you choose to name your characters. Throughout the story Tao's boyfriend is referred to as Kris, then in the end he suddenly becomes Yifan. Reader is not a fan of EXO, the whole story is not about idols from kpop group EXO, so why Yifan is also Kris and vice versa? Altogether, too many events were put in this one-shot, it would really be good if the amount was cut off or the one-shot was expanded into a few chapters.

(15/25) Grammar/Errors: The grammar is not the best, there are a lot of mistakes of spelling and morphology in general. No particular mistakes were picked out, since you requested not to put much attention on the grammar and you will have the story proofread soon. One thing that must be mentioned is the use of “saranghe” in the very end of the story. It is totally unnecessary to insert a Korean word and that could be easily changed to “I love you.”

(3/5) Overall Enjoyment: For me personally, this story was so-so. I really liked how Luhan elaborated on details of his surroundings, but the storyline was a bit common and the pace was too fast. Good luck with future stories!

(65/100) Points Total

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