Title: (10/10)
LOGICAL (3/3) THE TITLE AND THE STORY ARE OF THE SAME THEME.
EYE-CATCHING (2/3) THE TITLE IMPLIED THAT THERE WOULD BE DEPRESSION AND POSSIBLE SUICIDE SO IT CAUGHT MY EYE but it didn't really catch my interest.
ORIGINAL (4/4) SINCE I'VE NEVER SEEN A TITLE LIKE THAT BEFORE, IT'S PRETTY ORIGINAL TO ME.
story's foreword/description (10/10)
STORY'S SUMMARY (3/5) HONESTLY, IT WASN'T THAT INTIGUING BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE A CLICHE SUICIDAL GUY TRYING TO KILL HIMSELF BUT FALLS IN LOVE AND FINDS THE LIGHT IN HIS LIFE.
APPEARANCE (5/5) IT WASN'T MESSY OR CONFUSING TO READ BECAUSE IT HAD A NICE AND NEAT STRUCTURE.
characters/casts (10/10)
Character Development (2/5) Points were lost because the reader has to squint in order to notice the development of characters and there wasn't much development.
Character's relation (5/5) The relationships the characters had with each other and other people were realistic ans sensible.
the author's mindset (40/40)
Logically (6/10) THE WAY THEY DEALT WITH DEPRESSION AND HOW HOSEOK WANTED TO KILL HIMSELF OUT OF GRIEF WAS PRETTY LOGICAL BUT TO BE HONEST, WHAT ARE THE CHANCES THAT A GUY WHO'S MOURNING A LOSS TRYING TO FIX HIMSELF SEARCHES FOR A SUICIDAL GUY, FINDS HIM AND TELLS HIM TO PRETEND THAT THEY'RE BOTH IN LOVE. Points were lost because of the last scene, because retrieving your own heart would require breaking bones and it's not as easy as the author made it to be. Once your heart is taken, you immediately die so it's almost impossible to put your heart in another person's chest.
Originality (10/10) THE PLOT ITSELF MIGHT'VE BEEN A CLICHE PLOT, AN ORDINARY SOMEONE TRYING TO FIX ANOTHER JUST BECAUSE HE WAS DEPRESSED PLOT, BUT THE WAY THE AUTHOR DEVELOPED THE STORY WAS ORIGINAL AND DIFFERENT.
Tone (5/5) THE AUTHOR'S THE ONE TELLING THE STORY SO IT WAS PRETTY GOOD.
Narration (1/5) THE AUTHOR UES A THIRD POINT OF VIEW FROM ALL THE CHARACTERS' VIEWS AND HILE THE WRITING ITSELF WAS GOOD, THE STYLE WASN'T. THE WAY THE AUTHOR WROTE WHICH WAS A SHORT SENTENCE AT A TIME, WHICH IS USUALLY USED TO CREATE SUSPENSE, WAS USED THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE STORY AND IT LOST THE SUSPENSE EFFECT.
Storyline (7/10) THE PLOT ITSELF WAS PRETY GOOD AND IT DID TEACH US SOME MORALS LIKE THINK BEFORE YOU DO TO PREVENT ACCIDENTALLY KILLING PEOPLE IN A FIT OF RAGE LIKE TAEHYUNG DID. THE STORYLINE ITSELF WAS SMOOTH BUT IT WAS TOO FAST, SO I COULDN'T FEEL ATTACHMENT TO THE CHARACTERS. IF THIS WAS THE AUTHOR'S PURPOSE, THEN YOU SUCCEEDED. THIS COST A LOT OF POINTS BECAUSE I FEEL THAT READER'S ATTACHMENT WITH THE CHARRACTER IS IMPORTANT IN A STORY.
proper use of the english language (25/25)
proper grammar/punctuation (5/10)
THE TENSES WEREn'T CONSISTENT. IT SEEMS THAT THE AUTHOR WANTED TO USE PAST TENSE FOR THE WHOLE STORY, WHICH I RECOMMEND, BUT THE AUTHOR OCCASIONALLY SWITCHES THE TENSES TO PRESENT TENSE. FOR EXAMPLE,
In chapter 3 'So Hoseok lie still on the bed' should be "So Hoseok lied still on the bed'
IN CHAPTER 4 'Taehyung's lips touch the cherry the same time Hoseok's lips touch the cherry' should be 'Tahyung's lips touched the cherry the same time Hoseok's did.'
There are more mistakes like this, so please consider editing.
terminology (5/5)
The vocabulary itself was very wide and broad like the use of 'plasma' instead of 'blood'
In chapter 3, 'I want you to love me. My heart's been turned to stone. I want you to thaw it.' the use of the word 'thaw' here is different and unexpected.=
language barrier (10/10)
There weren't any korean phrases so it was pretty pleasant to read.
Reviewer's enjoyment (1/5)
I couldn't enjoy the story as much as I could have. the fact that simple sentences are split killed the mood and distracted me from the main storyline. I also didn't feel any attachment to the characters so I couldn't feel sad that Hoseok and taehyung both died.
A little message from me: Even though the score wasn't that high, keep on writing and improve your style of writing along the way. Remember, practice makes perfect. Fighting!
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