Story Pick Up: 

Confession

Note: 26 chapters (Spoiler Alert)

The title is perfect for the story as it is about confessing and romance, etc, however it's not a very unique title. In fact it's overrated for a story with EXO members. If more words were to be added to the title to make it a little different, I think it would be perfect.  

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Character: (7/10)

There were way too many characters that none of them were really diverse, other than the main Haneul, Jongin/Kai, and Chanyeol. I find many of these characters confusing to be honest, majority uses the same language (like cuss words, etc). Below I'll be discussing about each character individually. 

First off we have Haneul, our lead female, who is like street smart but gullible in the beginning of the story. At first I assumed she was the kind and princess-like kind, as she's very tough yet nice, but then she turned out to be super rough and 'bratty' (in my opinion). Haneul's character is the type I dislike the most (just me, remember), she's supposingly smart or a 'genius' but she doesn't appear to be. She's more of a party girl in my opinion (they tend to be more outgoing and rough on the surface). I wouldn't have guessed she was a top or that smart of a student if you, as the writer, didn't say so. Because the way she talks, she doesn't come off as smart, instead she comes off as tough, always bickering, or bragging even when she just wanted to be a normal girl. Her relationship is all over the place. She's very kind and caring towards Yoonah but then she's always bickering with the guys. All in all she has a completely different personality from the beginning versus the middle toward the end. 

Jongin or Kai, he came off as a jerk the moment Haneul confessed to him. He call her names a lot for a rich boy who has no manners. However, from the beginning I also got that he was probably fed up with common girls confessing to him, thus Haneul was nothing more than just another girl. And he must be used to brushing off girls as he tried to do it to Haneul so naturally. Jongin's character didn't stand out as much as I'd hope. He was just there to be there, to keep the story going, to keep this triangle romance thing running. He wasn't really a main character, he just had more scenes and parts so that we'll get to see more of Haneul's personality. 

Chanyeol however is a lot different compare to Kai and Sehun, he's more of the caring type who's really into Haneul. Her harsh words may hurt him, but he's determine to marry her. He's very caring towards those around him and mainly to those he was or is closed with. 

Sehun and Joonmyeon, friends who are always together with Jongin. We never see them apart, they're always together. We know nothing about them other than them being Jongin's friends and often hold conversations with him. Their ranks in school are also a mystery, though they are always picking on Jongin for placing last. 

Lee Hyemi, I honestly thought she'd had more parts as she had a great interest in Jongin and Chanyeol. But she was barely in it. Park Jimin who's always around her is willing to do anything for her. Thus we see the two together a lot but they don't do much, other than talk. 

Yoonah is considered Haneul's best friend but knows nothing about Haneul outside of school. However, she's very supportive of Haneul until she learn of the lass's real identity. In which case, she took advantage of their friendship and betrayed Haneul. Beside her we have Jungkook, another friend of Haneul who has a crush on Yoonah but continue to hide his feelings until near the end. He's always bickering with Haneul and Yoonah, but out of all the characters, he seems to fit the concept, high school student, much more. 

Then we have BTS, basically, with Namjoon who's father works or drives Haneul's father, then Suga, J-hope, and there was mention of Taehyung. We know nothing about these guys, except Namjoon, and they were all side characters to reassure readers that Jimin is indeed a popular fellow with his own group of friends. 

I believe the story is still ongoing so there's still time to build on each character. Usually I don't mind reading a large cast of people, because I tend to write plenty with large casts, however make sure each character are different and stands out in a way. What are these many side characters doing that is contributing nicely to the story's plot or storyline? Leave some space and elaborate on a character's actions and feelings toward a particular scene carefully. When a character is crying, explain in details how are they crying, what are they thinking, where are they crying? Don't just put "Haneul cried." and instead go for something like "Tears slid down Haneul's cheeks as she cried alone in her room." Be either descriptive or detailed so readers would be able to enjoy the story in a more understanding and visually way. 

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Originality: (7/10)

I can't say the story is original, I saw many cliches that every romance drama, fanfics tend to have. The confession, the rejection, the arranged marriages, the betrayals between friends, the friend-liking-another-friend cliches. However the MANY twists added to the story made it more interesting and fun to read. And I always say though the originality the storyline isn't as original or is usually overrated, it all really comes down to the characters and how they make the story different. A Xiumin x Haneul would make a different story compare to Chanyeol x Haneul because fans/people who know them would obviously visualize them differently. 

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Story-line/Plot: (25/40)

As mentioned before the cliches broke me away from the story itself. There was too many scenes left out and there were too many different things going on at the same time that even you have forgotten to mention. I believe what took me away from the focus of the story are the characters and the formatting of the story. By formatting I mean it was more a script and dialogue format rather than a more novel-like one. We get to see how a person speaks or talks like but we can't really imagine where they are, what they're doing, what is it like around them, what's the weather like, and what time is it? The story plot depends on who Haneul chooses, it keeps bouncing back and forth between Chanyeol and Jongin. As first it seems like she was over Jongin and into Chanyeol but then denied him being her boyfriend, least fiance. But overall I believe the mini-twists added some good spice to the story, it does divert our focus from all the drama and romance to a more interesting and mysterious area. 

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Grammar/Errors: (19/25)

I spotted a few hiccups but they weren't anything major, just need some proofreading done then that shall fix it. I'd also advise that instead of writing out the numbers in number form, write them out instead if they're under ten. It's a common go-to when writing fanfics etc, but if you want to use 'proper English' then write them out with letters. A lot of words were left out and some were misplaced. Past and present tense, I believe these two needs the most attention. 

I strongly suggest proofreading or a beta reader for the small minor errors. Sentence structure wasn't so horrible that it would distract a reader's attention from the story (unless they're super picky grammar-nazis). But do do that when you have the time to. 

Becareful with your 'are' and 'is' too, you get them confused. Are is plural (majority of the time) while 'is' is singular. 

The term 'smirked' is also used too often to describe a character, use synonims like "sneered", "grinned", etc instead~ It'll smooth out the reading. 

Original: "The class president, Jung Kook were busy collecting the assignments, when he arrived at  Ha Neul’s desk,"
Correction: "The class president, Jung Kook, were busy collecting the assignments when he arrived at Ha Neul’s desk,"
Suggestion: Common mistake people tend to make are commas misplacement. For the sentence above, when you have two commas separating one sentence like that into three sections, then the comma usually marked the 'extra' information within the two commas. 'Extra' meaning the information may not be needed but was added for more details or description. Which means if you can remove the center completely then the first and third sections would have still made sense and formed a complete sentence. In this case it does not. "The class president when he arrived at Ha Neul's desk," I added commas around his name instead as he is the class president spoken of. 

Original: "25$"
Correction: "$25"
Suggestion: Dollar sign always go before the digits, coins sign goes after it. 

Original: "She was never feeling very betrayed, ashamed and angrier than this."
Correction: "She has never felt so betrayed, ashamed, and angrier than this."
Suggestion: (In Chapter six.)

Original: "Who asked you to challenge the bet. You are digging your own grave." Sehun laughed."
Correction: "Who asked you to challenge the bet. You are dug your own grave." Sehun laughed."
Suggestion: Past tense, Jongin already took on the challenge so it should be he dug his own grave. This was from chapter nine. 

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Overall Enjoyment: (3/5)

I would have enjoyed the story even more if Haneul wasn't my typical bratty girl. I know she's strong and even independent but I wasn't very fond of her choice of words. She's immature-ly a strong gal, not a mature one. I stopped at an exciting part where I got to see a mini-flashback of Jongin and Haneul's past, so that's what kept the grade a little higher for this field. Anyway, I hope you don't take my opinions to heart, they're just pure opinions and keep writing! I'm sure with little fixes I'll be able to see this story featured one day with over 200+ upvotes!

And I am terribly sorry for the long wait, it's been more a month and I appreciate you checking back in. I did manage to complete this in less than a day for you so I hope it'll make up for the lateness, a little bit? 

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Total Score (69/100)

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Bonus: *Your questions and focuses for me*

The grammar, the plot, originality, the characterization, and actually, EVERYTHING.

All above~

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