NOTE: 14 Chapters (Spoiler Alert)

(7/10) Title: "Can You Keep A Secret", "A" should be lowercase. Just how English goes, sadly. I understand that there are a lot of secrets flying about in the story, but I wasn't very fond with the title itself. Especially when it's such a common sentence or line. Since the story has so many twists to it and how everything doesn't connect in one go, I think you can definitely come up with a more unique title. (I looked up your title on AFF and couldn't keep count of all the similar titles, there were way too many so I gave up).

(7/10) Character: In the characters section (provided by AFF) you put down "you, Luhan, Baekhyun" so I'm guessing they're main characters somewhere as well? However, Sehun is by far the leading male character so.... I'm not sure if that's there to fool the readers or you must have changed the characters when you started writing? (I do that sometimes lol). Sazzy kind of confuse me, yeah she's smart, yeah she's cute and pretty/beautiful, yes she's "perfect" in a way. What I don't understand is her way of conversing with the EXO members and other people. She seem to be those type of mature and super smart person from the beginning with a mysterious history. But when she left EXO that single letter, she sounded the opposite?  And I mentioned it, I love chapter 11 because it actually shows her IQ does exist there! But then at the thought of Sehun, her IQ seems to drop? (Maybe it's just me who thinks that way) She's always flustering over Sehun and the supposedly dead Hoseok, so I can't really read her personality. From the member's views' she seems like a nice person but the way she'd tell Sehun that it's "none of his business" appears cold.... (Some of these goes under storyline but Sazzy's character really confuse me with the whole story). It's like she's smart, but then she's way too smart for her own good. Also an abusive dad leads to a genius daughter? Idunno, it's an interesting thought and rare but I'd see how it's possible. 

Let's see Sehun. All I got from him is that he was forced into something he doesn't want to do due to love, but with some trigger he'd ignore that loving feeling for a while and get that hunger for revenge back. But as the story progresses, Sehun's character doesn't stand out for me. 

The story opens on EXO as a whole, yet not enough description was given. I understand later on when you mentioned it for the purpose of the whole story. Then again I didn't expect SM, BTS, Girls Generation to appear or exist at all in here, in fact I didn't think it was based heavily on them being their band EXO. So I thought that was interesting yet disturbing at the same time. There were way too many side characters that aren't significant to the story whatsoever. 

(10/10) Originality: The feels was very original and it has a great sense of reality to it. Since it's based on EXO as their own K-pop band and whatnot. At first I thought the story was going to be like Sehun as some detective or some of the sort but then it's like some K-dramas where it's the police corp. that is corrupted itself or politics, but for yours it's in K-pop or the music industry itself so that was a great twist to it! Kudos here~

(30/40) Storyline/Plot: I feel the story was way to jumpy. She got so comfy with EXO so fast that it was like "hold up, how is it that they all seems like friends on their first day of meeting?" The story goes from first to third person point of view and I strongly suggest sticking to one only. I especially dislike stories that changes from one character's POV to another, luckily yours wasn't like it. Though Sehun's POV chapter was sort of out of the blue. (Nothing wrong with that, it was just unexpected). There are so many twists that it keeps the story interesting, but then again they all seem like minor twists, there's no one particular large twist that would kept me strongly engaged. Since it was a chaptered story I was expecting a more smooth pace, I just feel like their feelings were so rushed and there's not any description, especially with all the side characters. There are so many characters that could play some sort of special role in there as well (and I'm sure you have someone like that in there, you just haven't revealed it yet). I can see how and why Sazzy would fall so deep for Sehun, but where Sehun comes in just didn't seem to work. Wasn't he desperate for revenge, would someone who's desperate for revenge just give up that revenge for one's gentle smile and/or cute reaction to when they tease that one person? I love all the small twists, great job with that and keep it up! We need more stories like yours~ 

(20/25) Grammar/Errors: Chapter one and two was "omigod I love this author's use of vocabs., etc." but then from chapter three down I started to count all the errors without really looking for them. The fact that you don't have spaces after the punctuation for some sentences bugged me. Ex: Sazzy shot out of the bed and ruffled her hair mesily.She indeed looked like someone that hasn't ate nor bathe for a year.Well, who cares?EXO isnt here.They're in Japan.She groggily made her way to the bathroom and cleaned herself before wearing something decent. 

You also need some of those apostrophes in its correct places. I was slightly annoyed with those minor errors that could easily be fixed with proofreading. It may have been your intention to smushed them all together like that, but by the law of proper English grammar usage, that's incorrect. (And I'm sure you're fully aware of it, but again just doing my job as a reviewer). 

Some common errors found in your story:
Numbers under 10 should be written unless it's necessary.

Eventhough = Even though (Only although is one word, even though is two)

Entertwined = Intertwined

Than = Compare
Then = Time (Most of your "then" were supposed to be "than" since you were comparing.)

Other than those many errors, your vast of vocab. was enjoyable! Your words were well-brought together and that's what kept me interested through the whole pieces I've read.

(4/5) Overall Enjoyment: I loved it personally, if I wasn't doing my job as a reviewer it's a story I would read if I randomly come across it. Why? Have you not seen your layout for the overall story? It's over the top outstanding! When you first requested and I opened the story, my jaw dropped. I upvoted your story because it deserved it! Everything fit so perfectly wll together and especially your cover, I love it!

(78/100) Points Total (Points does not make your story, they make perspective!)

Bonus: Your questions and focuses for us:

Grammar and plot: Can be found under grammar and storyline.

Um..just that this story is REALLY twisted like, I', 100% confident that you haven't read this story when it's completed oh! and can you tell me if my story has potential to be featured one day?: If you just fix the little errors I bet your story will receive more love and support! With your layout, I believe that if you request your work at shops that looks at layout and foreword/description then your story will be featured!

The one line with the one behind the trigger is a lot similar to the storyline for "Wanted: Dr. Zhang" xD

I can't believe I finished this story in one go, I didn't complete it in one hour but hey to make you feel better I have work in four hours and it's 3:30 AM here so.... I stayed up just for your story! Aha.

Sorry if you found this review harsh, I just want you to improve on those little parts because I want to see your story go big one day!

Thank you for choosing BLK Reviews and for your patience! Hope to hear from you again!

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