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Author: KaihleeLo
Reviewed By: -Vminatic

Requested Date: 12/19/16

Review Completion: 12/21/16
Story Link: Link
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Focus on everything.

Title: 9/10

Logical: 3/3

I could see where the title was coming from, as seen from Youngtae. 
Eye-catching: 2/3
It was unique and it did catch my attention as it was mysterious.  
Original: 4/4
It is a unique title which I hve hardly seen before.

Description/Foreword: 9/10

Summary: 5/5

The description immediately left me hooked. It was simple and easy to read. However, I felt that the layout for it is a little awkward. I will talk more about it below.
Appearance: 4/5
Overall, the appearence is neat and simple. It is easy to read and there is nothing standing out that will distract me as I read the description (which can actually be a little annoying). About the description part:

What you wrote: 

"Stories are often created from a man's imagination or a series of events that he personally encountered. In due time, they would slowly evolve into accounts he believes to be worth sharing.

How he tells the story is his choice; no one will know the truth even if he were to lie. Others may even doubt his truth.

Over time one would wonder what triggered those beginnings and endings to a man's infinite storytelling.

The answer is relationships...."

What you could have wrote: 

"Stories are often created from a man's imagination or a series of events that he personally encountered.

In due time, they would slowly evolve into accounts he believes to be worth sharing.

How he tells the story is his choice; no one will know the truth even if he were to lie. Others may even doubt his truth.

Over time one would wonder what triggered those beginnings and endings to a man's infinite storytelling.

The answer is relationships."

I felt that the structure was a little awkward as the first sentence is too long while the rest are properly paragraphed. Also, there's unnecessary ellipsis at the end so I thought that removing it would look better.

Character Development/Showcasing: 9/10

Development: 5/5

Despite having so many characters, you manage to develop each of them very well. That is certainly a very good!Each character has their own story and you made sure to give each of them enough time to develop and tell their story to the readers.
Relation/Cast: 4/5
There were many relations between the characters in the story like betrayal and such. The character that left an impression on me was Yoomi. At first, she seemed like a kind, innocent, pure girl but later on, we know that she murdered the king and betrayed Inpyo.

Behind the Author's Mind: 35/40

Logical: 10/10

I could see where the story was going. The pace and flow was nicely done too. As it is a historical story, lots of betrayals and secrets occurs and is a huge part of it.
Original: 7/10
It was heavily inspired by other historical dramas and I've seen similar scenes in dramas too. However, it became original as you made your own twists with you characters having different backgrounds.
Tone: 5/5
The tone was always fitting so nothing seemed out of place as the story flowed.

Naration: 5/5

As it was written in 3rd person, you are at an advantage as you're able to describe more. For example, different thoughts and atmosphere of the characters/place. The narration was great overall.
Storyline: 8/10
Your storyline was very interesting, though heavily inspired by historical dramas. I rarely read historical stories too, so reading yours gave me a new experience. I'm a fan of stories with dramas, so yours having lots of it made me like it even more. However, sometimes if there's too much unnescessary drama, I would dislike but for yours, the amount of drama happening was just nice.

Proper Use of the English Language: 24/25

Proper Grammar/Punctuation: 9/10

In chapter 1:

What you wrote:

The King who was pleased by the attendance quickly resorted to open conversation among his subjects to lead the new day, “Today marks the day where another loyal warrior of mine will be promoted to a higher position. You all know him very well. He has saved me and every one of you in here, along with my nation’s people. He, who spilled his own blood to become a shield to men and women who shares the same skin as him. He, who is Warrior Yeo Inpyo!”

What you should have written: 

The King who was pleased by the attendance quickly resorted to open conversation among his subjects to lead the new day, “today marks the day where another loyal warrior of mine will be promoted to a higher position. You all know him very well. He has saved me and every one of you in here, along with my nation’s people. He, who spilled his own blood to become a shield to men and women who shares the same skin as him. He, who is Warrior Yeo Inpyo!”

Other than that, I did not see anymore/major mistakes.Overall, grammar was great! 
Termonology: 5/5
Vocabulary was great. Your diction was extremely good as it fitted the atmosphere and setting at the right time.
Language Barrier: 10/10
There was little use, if not no use at all, of Korean or other languages.

General Enjoyment/Last Comment: 5/5
Overall, I really enjoyed reading your story as it is a new experience to read a historical story! 

Total points: 91/100