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Author: AsianNoodles
Reviewed By: KaihleeLo

Requested Date: 1/23/16

Review Completion: 5/18/16
Story Link: Link
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Bonus: (Your questions and focuses for us here)

Title: 9/10

Logical: 3/3

Once I got into the middle of the story, I thought the title would start to play in some more, example what would Sunggyu do after Woohyun left. However, we only got a little of it near the end, which wasn't exactly disappointing but it wasn't satsifying either (at least to me). The title fits though. 
Eye-catching: 2/3
It didn't exactly stand out since I immediately assume it had to do with a destined death or moving away. 
Original: 4/4
The title is usually those that gives away either death of main characters or moving away. In this case it had to do with death. The title isn't new when it comes to angsty stories such as these, but as the title fits, I'll leave it with full marks here. 

Description/Foreword: 10/10

Summary: 5/5

The summary basically summed up the whole story from start to end (which is normally a good thing. Other stories only had for example opening summaries of the first part of the story then the rest was told in the story). It was then the readers choice to read for the details. 
Appearance: 5/5
Clean and organized, some different font size, colors, and style but it didn't hurt the eyes or distract the overall layout. 

Character Development/Showcasing: 9/10

Development: 5/5

As far as development go, I don't think much was developed as these were already developed characters. From the get go we got that Sunggyu was a hard worker who's strict on keeping Woohyun safe and away from any harm. He was also very affection, he'd give Woohyun lots of kisses which was normal between couples. 

Woohyun was a very down character due to his unknown illness. And as someone who have to only sleep and eat all day, I'm sure he was very stressful and irritated. He was a lad at the age where he had a lot of energy but couldn't do any moving around so he's cranky and stressful most of the time. And the thing is he's always resting so he's always thinking and wondering, so I actually enjoyed the scene where he was wondering if birds ever get tired from flying. 

Relation/Cast: 4/5
We have multiple characters such as Sungyeol, step brother of Woohyun, Myungsoo cousin of Sunggyu, then Woohyun's step mother and father, Sunggyu's father, and supposedly step mother if his father marries, and then Sunggyun's unnamed younger sister. The cast was quite big for a one shot, which wasn't a problem, the only problem I have is that majority of these characters didn't play any major role. I was kind of disappointed that there were no mentioning of any other family members paying Woohyun any visits until his passing came to be.  

At certain times I was sort of effy on how Sunggyu would speak to Woohyun, like as if he was speaking to a baby. It didn't make me uncomfortable but I sort of wondered why. Sunggyu does come to realize many things though, there were no doubt about that. Just some times the things he says sort of seemed out of character, and I know he's a positive thinker but there was just something odd about it to me that I can't find the right words to describe and explain (>_< So helpful right?)

Behind the Author's Mind: 40/40

Logical: 10/10

The storyline and plot definitely made sense. Nothing was really random and unreal or unbelivable. Scenes took place in logical settings time. 
Original: 10/10
The idea may not have been original, but you were able to make it your own with the small quirks and storytelling.  
Tone: 5/5
The tone of the story was consitent and stabled throughout. 

Narration: 5/5

The narration started out in third person and ended in third person. And we're always following the perspective of Sunggyu, whether then us bouncing between Sunggyu and Woohyun so kudos to you for keeping that straight.  
Storyline: 10/10
I honestly expected flashbacks but surprisingly there wasn't any. However, it made the story even better then. The odd thing about this story is that it's pace can be so slow and the upcoming scenes could have been predicted, but here's the strange thing about it, it's like one of those films. Where you can sort of see where the movie was going and you can just guess what was going to happen next, but it doesn't stop you from stopping or turning off the movie. Instead it was able to keep you attached. 

Normally hooks tends to keep readers but this story didn't have any, it didn't need any. Somehow you were able to keep readers without scanning words or skipping through the scenes even though most of the dialogues were replicate of what has been brought up before. But it was also always interesting to see how the other would answer it now that they've been re-asked about it. It's also a trait of humans, I think, where we tend to repeat things xD So yes the flow could have been a turn off to some, even though this was an angst, but this story had certain charms that could lure in and keep its readers. 

Proper Use of the English Language: 23/25

Proper Grammar/Punctuation: 9/10

Minor grammar errors. Nothing too major that would have distracted readers. And as you said, it hasn't been proofread yet, which is fine since there were no major changes needed. 

Termonology: 5/5
One of the major factor that kept me hook was your choice of words and vocabulary. I loved how the story was told and described. 

Language Barrier: 9/10
I hate to do this but I must dock a point as the term 'hyung' was used frequently. I don't think it's a bad substitute word to use for older males' names but I must do my job, and as the story was written in English, it's only proper to keep it consistent. 

General Enjoyment/Last Comment: 5/5
I personally enjoyed this story (especially with it being WooGyu) I was able to imagine it even better. :D What I loved most was the description of their actions towards one another. Readers can definitely feel their love for one another. 

And I apologize for the long wait. Some things happened and so I ended up with your request just a day or two ago. Anyway I hope you find this review helpful, or at least a little encouraging. 

Total Points: 96/100