7 Days - suhopls
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SUHOPLS
REQUEST ON: 12/8/15
REVIEWER: BLACKROSESTEARS
FINISHED ON: 1/8/15
SCORE: 94/100
TITLE: (7/10)
LOGICAL (3/3) - THERE IS A CLEAR CONNECTION BETWEEN THE TITLE AND THE STORIES PLOT.
EYE-CATCHING (2/3) - JUST READING THE TITLE IS NOT REALLY SOMETHING I WOULD CALL EYE-CATCHING BECAUSE IT MAY DOES MAKE SENSE TO USE THIS TITLE BUT THERE ARE MANY OTHER STORIES WITH SUCH A TITLE THAT YOURS DOESN'T STAND OUT.
ORIGINAL (2/4) - JUST AS I ALREADY MENTIONED ABOVE, YOUR TITLE IS NOT REALLY SOMETHING SPECIAL THAT TELLS ME TO READ YOUR STORY BECAUSE OF ALL THESE OTHER STORIES WITH THE SAME OR A SIMILAR TITLE.
STORY'S FOREWORD/DESCRIPTION (10/10)
STORY'S SUMMARY (5/5) - YOUR FOREWORD IS WELL WRITTEN. YOU DON'T REVEAL MUCH OF THE PLOT AND AT THE SAME TIME YOU ALSO ARE ABLE TO MAKE THE READER CURIOUS BECAUSE YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT CHANGED BETWEEN KAI AND IRIS.
APPEARANCE (5/5) - IT LOOKS PRETTY GOOD, THERE IS A CLEAR STRUCTURE AND IT IS EASY TO READ.
CHARACTERS/CASTS (10/10)
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT (5/5) - YOUR CHARACTERS ARE CONSTANTLY CHANGING THROUGH THE STORY AND YOU ARE ABLE TO DESCRIBE IT IN A VERY NATURAL WAY. WHAT I LIKE HERE THE MOST IS THAT IT IS FIRST KAI THAT IS TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH IRIS BUT THEN SUDDENLY NOT ANYMORE. BUT HIS FEELINGS CHANGE AGAIN BUT THIS TIME IT IS IRIS THAT TRIES TO PUSH HIM AWAY BECAUSE SHE WANTS HIM TO BE HAPPY AND IT WOULD BE HARD FOR HIM TO FEEL HAPPINESS WHEN HIS GIRLFRIEND IS ACTUALLY DYING. IT WAS GREAT HOW YOU SHOWED THAT AND HOW IRIS IS FIGHTING THE CANCER BUT EVENTUALLY IS TOO TIRED TO FIGHT IT ANYMORE. IT MAKES YOU FEEL AND UNDERSTAND BETTER WHAT CANCER PATIENTS ARE ACTUALLY GOING THROUGH.
CHARACTER'S RELATIONS (5/5) - THEY WERE WELL WRITTEN TOO SO IT WAS PRETTY EASY TO RELATE THEIR FEELINGS. THE RELATIONSHIP OF IRIS AND KAI WAS REALLY PRETTY EVEN THOUGH KAI WAS DUMB AND THE WAY HE TREATED IRIS WAS HORRIBLE, IT WAS BEAUTIFUL HOW THEY GOT TOGETHER AGAIN AND THAT KAI REALIZED ABOUT HIS FEELINGS THAT WERE STILL THERE INSIDE OF HIM, HE JUST NEEDED SOME SPACE TO SEE THEM MORE CLEARLY AGAIN. IRIS IS A PRETTY STRONG PERSON THAT SHE CONTINUED TO LIVE AFTER THE BREAK UP AND THAT SHE WAS STILL ABLE TO COVER THAT WELL THAT SHE IS ACTUALLY PRETTY SICK. WHEN KAI DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE HER SIDE LATER IN THE HOSPITAL AND EVEN TOLD HER THAT THEY WILL GO THROUGH EVERYTHING TOGETHER IT WAS REALLY ROMANTIC AND SHOWED THAT HE IS REALLY SERIOUS ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP. IT ALMOST MADE UP FOR EVERYTHING HE DID TO HER BEFOREHAND.
THE AUTHOR'S MINDSET (37/40)
LOGICALLY (10/10) - YOU WROTE IT REALLY WELL SO THERE WERE NO CONFUSIONS IN THE STORY THAT COULD MAKE IT HARD TO UNDERSTAND THE STORY, EVERYTHING WAS LOGICALLY.
ORIGINALITY (8/10) - I LIKE THESE TYPE OF STORIES BUT IT IS NOT REALLY SOMETHING ORIGINAL AT ALL. THERE ARE SOME OTHER STORIES WITH THE SAME PLOT.
TONE (5/5) - THE MOOD ALWAYS FITTED THE SITUATION AND MADE IT EASIER TO UNDERSTAND, TO FEEL WITH YOUR CHARACTERS AND WITH EVERYTHING THAT WAS GOING ON.
NARRATION (5/5) - THE NARRATION WERE GOOD TOO. YOU STUCK TO THE POV OF IRIS AND KAI. LIKE THAT WE WERE ABLE TO SEE WHAT BOTH OF THEM ARE FEELING AND WHY KAI IS BREAKING UP WITH HER AND THAT HE REALLY MEANS IT WHEN HE WANTS TO GET BACK TOGETHER WITH HER. BUT WE CAN ALSO SEE HOW IRIS IS THINKING ABOUT THESE INCIDENTS AND HOW HARD IT ACTUALLY IS TO FIGHT AGAINST CANCER.
STORYLINE (9/10) - THE STORY BEGINS WITH A PRETTY NICE SCENE BETWEEN IRIS AND KAI THAT IS FULL OF LOVE. KAI WAS SO ROMANTIC AND SWEET, IT WAS OBVIOUS THAT THE TWO ARE MADLY IN LOVE SO REALLY BREAKS YOUR HEARD WHEN SOME TIME PASSES AND IRIS SUDDENLY STARTS TO TALK ABOUT KAI WHOSE STARTS TO BE WITH HER LESS THAN BEFORE. HE LEFT HER ALONE WHEN SHE REALLY NEEDED HIM BECAUSE THE CANCER SHE ONCE DEFEATED IN THE PAST IS BACK. HERE I LIKED HOW YOU DESCRIBE THE PROCESS OF CANCER AND WHY IT CAME BACK IN IRIS CASE, IT IS EASY TO UNDERSTAND AND YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE THAT YOU READ ABOUT IT FIRST BEFORE WRITING SO YOU WON'T WRITE SOMETHING WRONG HERE.
BECAUSE KAI IS KEEPING HIS DISTANCE FROM IRIS SHE IS NOT ABLE TO TELL HIM ABOUT THE CANCER SO WHEN HE BREAKS UP WITH HER HE STILL DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT IT. BUT THAT WAS NOT EVEN THE WORSE THING FOR ME BECAUSE HE COULD HAVE BREAK UP WITH HER EVERYWHERE BUT HE CHOSE TO DO IT UNDER A FIREWORK WHICH HE KNOWS THAT SHE REALLY LOVES WHICH IS PRETTY CRUEL IN MY OPINION.
SOON AFTER THE BREAK UP IRIS ASKS KAI TO BE IN LOVE WITH HER FOR ANOTHER 7 DAYS BECAUSE SHE KNOWS THAT WHEN SHE GETS THE TREATMENT AGAINST CANCER THE CHANCES ARE HIGH THAT SHE WON'T SURVIVE. SO THE NEXT 7 DAYS ARE FULL OF "GOOD" MEMORIES BUT ALSO FULL OF PAIN BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T WANT TO SHOW KAI THAT SHE IS SICK. ALSO IN THESE 7 DAYS KAI REALIZES THAT HE STILL HAS FEELINGS FOR IRIS AND WHEN HE FINS OUT ABOUT HER CANCER HE STAYS BY HER SIDE AND WANTS TO BE WITH HER FOREVER.
BECAUSE KAI IS KEEPING HIS DISTANCE FROM IRIS SHE IS NOT ABLE TO TELL HIM ABOUT THE CANCER SO WHEN HE BREAKS UP WITH HER HE STILL DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT IT. BUT THAT WAS NOT EVEN THE WORSE THING FOR ME BECAUSE HE COULD HAVE BREAK UP WITH HER EVERYWHERE BUT HE CHOSE TO DO IT UNDER A FIREWORK WHICH HE KNOWS THAT SHE REALLY LOVES WHICH IS PRETTY CRUEL IN MY OPINION.
SOON AFTER THE BREAK UP IRIS ASKS KAI TO BE IN LOVE WITH HER FOR ANOTHER 7 DAYS BECAUSE SHE KNOWS THAT WHEN SHE GETS THE TREATMENT AGAINST CANCER THE CHANCES ARE HIGH THAT SHE WON'T SURVIVE. SO THE NEXT 7 DAYS ARE FULL OF "GOOD" MEMORIES BUT ALSO FULL OF PAIN BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T WANT TO SHOW KAI THAT SHE IS SICK. ALSO IN THESE 7 DAYS KAI REALIZES THAT HE STILL HAS FEELINGS FOR IRIS AND WHEN HE FINS OUT ABOUT HER CANCER HE STAYS BY HER SIDE AND WANTS TO BE WITH HER FOREVER.
THE FLOW OF THE STORY IS REALLY GOOD FROM THE BEGINNING TO THE END AND YOUR WRITING STYLE WAS REALLY CAPTIVATING ME SO I COULDN'T STOP READING UNTIL I WAS AT THE END. THE ONLY THING THAT WAS A BIT OFF FOR ME WAS WHEN KAI PROPOSED TO IRIS BECAUSE FOR ME IT FELT A BIT RUSHED. WHEN YOU PROPOSE TO SOMEONE IT SHOULDN'T BE DURING THE TIME WHEN ONE OF THEM IS SICK BECAUSE THE FEELINGS, THE THINKING OF PEOPLE IS DIFFERENT DURING THESE TIMES AND HERE IT WAS SO OUT OF BLUE THAT I PERSONALLY FOUND IT A BIT DISTURBING.
PROPER USE OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (25/25)
PROPER GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION (10/10) - THERE WERE NO MAJOR MISTAKES THAT WOULD BE DISTURBING WHILE READING YOUR STORY.
TERMINOLOGY (5/5) - YOUR VOCABULARY WAS ALSO REALLY GOOD BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T USE THE SAME WORDS OR PHRASES ALL OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
LANGUAGE BARRIER (10/10) - ALSO I DIDN'T SEE AN OVERUSE OF THE KOREAN LANGUAGE IN YOUR STORY.
REVIEWER'S ENJOYMENT (5/5)
I REALLY ENJOYED READING YOUR STORY BECAUSE I LOVE THESE PLOTS. THESE KIND OF PLOTS ARE SAD BUT THEY ARE ALSO ABLE TO SHOW US WHAT IS REALLY IMPORTANT IN OUR LIVES AND THAT WE SHOULDN'T WAIT FOR TOO LONG BECAUSE IT COULD BE THAT IT IS TOO LATE AT SOME POINT.
THE STORY REALLY HOOKED ME UP FROM THE FIRST TO THE LAST SENTENCES THAT IT IS A PITY HOW FAST IT WAS OVER.
THE STORY REALLY HOOKED ME UP FROM THE FIRST TO THE LAST SENTENCES THAT IT IS A PITY HOW FAST IT WAS OVER.
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