NOTE: Sixteen chapters - on-going

(9/10) Title: A nine only because when I went to the Search box on AFF and typed in your story title, there were about two other stories with the same name. Obviously there are going to be titles with the same name and there's nothing authors can do about that, but hopefully that one point will make an appearance to boast your points in the review somewhere. Don't worry about it too much, it's unique but since I'm a queen *hairflip* I'm greedy for titles that don't exist on AFF. 

(6/10) Character: I strongly disliked how you used the you tag to have each user's name placed into the story. Do you know how ridiculous it is for me to read "mysterfly-nee!"? It's really a turn off.

For Meita and Aki, there are Japanese characters in here and that's completely fine, it's all multicultural. However you're using whatever nee means, I'm just assuming that it's a friendly term, and mixing Korean words into the story. There's chan here and senpai, it's just a jumble of English, Japanese, and Korean. It hurts my eyes.

For Leo he also needs to control his temper. A girl called him cute, I can't disagree because Leo's DROPDEAD CUTE, anyways for him to want to kill her the second she says that it's quite violent. It makes me want to jump into the story and strangle him saying "You're as cute as a bunny and if you can't accept that then get out of my life you bias wrecker. URGHH." 

For VIXX, Leo and N are the same age so Leo doesn't need to call N hyung. And uh, is Hongbin stupid? Just because N is asking a person that's already injured doesn't mean the questions will phyiscally or mentally hurt them any futher. Maybe this spreads to Leo too because he also thinks 'Why am I trying to understand what I can't understand?' Leo, you can't understand it and that's what you're trying to comprehend.

(7/10) Originality: Isn't it funny how in the overall enjoyment I said that I love supernatural but I actually don't read a lot of it? Just saying it like that sounds funny but it's actually because there's no special supernatural stories, all of them have the same plot. Because of that I stopped reading supernatural and coming across your story it is original now. However if I was someone that read every supernatural fanfic on AFF then I would've been tired of this story. I guess you got lucky because of the authors on AFF copying each other and my low tolerance for this stuff. 

Your story doesn't stick to my head. This was about seventeen chapters so for this review I had to split some of them into different days and when I picked up where I last took of I had to reread some of the before chapters. There isn't enough excitement for me to keep on reading either. 

(16/40) Storyline/Plot: Pleast stick to one language and one point of view. On the other hand, let's see if I understood this. 

I'm a spawn of two rule breaking parents and everyone in school despises me for a decision that I couldn't take part in. One day I get bullied by these girls to the point where I've been sent into another dimension and VIXX goes into it to save me. 

Now that I've been saved, they're attached to me because they have an interest in what I am. Blah blah blah this and that, eventually I tell them through this game. We get close, Leo and I develope some feelings, Ravi hacks Leo's account and tells the author that he wants to be with me, I get beat up in a restroom because of Leo and he finds me.

Later on I join the sports team which also happens to have Leo in there, though Hongbin said he's taking vocal classes unless the class systems are different here so I guess I can understand. I dumbly exposes my curse and Leo ain't got no time to wait for her to tell. 

Leo needs someone to help him get over Sojin and here I am, that night Leo tells his feeliings to (I'm assuming, to lazy to check) Ken, true love comments from both sides of the famly, I spend a day with them and encounters the three bears bullies again but is saved. 

Reviewer's troll comment; Girl's Day? Good luck Leo, she's hot and sticks like glue. 

Then this banana milk shows up as a cure? I don't get this part, really. Potion in banana milk, they drank it and unless I read over that scene I don't really understand how the works and how the true feelings are revealed. Back to the football field I'm a beginner and I'm up against someone like Dongjun. I sprain my ankle and Leo offers to bring me to the infirmary, and what is RICE? 

Next chapter (I actually skipped episode two), this random POV is obviously his father so why not say it, and yes finally chickenheadleo askes for a date.

"Taekwoon hyung, don't hurt noona or else I'll take her away from you." Real supportive Hyuk, real supportive. I didn't understand the random POV #2 because I didn't read it, I lost interest. I feel like you didn't plan your story out. Rather you just thought "I should have a cursed character that falls in love with Leo." 

Random guy POV #3. It's Sojin, isn't it? Wow, she's a real female dog. "I hope you can forgive me after this." I laughed. Are there any other words needed her? Girl, take a seat; your friendship is over. If you said that you really did love him then stay and explain. I'm not believing you one bit and nor am I sending pity your way. You messed up and now I'm taking your spot. *sassysnap. LEO'S MINE. 

That's all I interpreted from those seventeen chapters. It's great that I understand, but it's really cliché. Flow is fine, nothing wrong with it.

(19/25) Grammar/Errors: I understand that English isn't your first language, which is why below this I'll correct some mistakes for you. 

Examples from Chapter One; Commonly in your story you end your sentences short, which causes them to become fragments. In your focuses, there was no mention of grammatical mistakes that you'd like me to pay attention to, and because of that there will only be corrections from the first chapter. 

I told another author this and I'm not afraid to tell you, I don't really like stories that fuse Korean language into randomly, so that deducted some errors points. This is an English website, if you wanted to have Korean in it then write the whole thing in Korean. I've also included a correction side and a suggestion one, and all of this is in chronlogical order. 

Original: "WIngs?!"

Correction: "Wings?!"

Original: "How dare you break the rules!"

Correction: "How dare you break the rules?!" 

Original: I sighed. Just great. 

Suggestion: I sighed, just great. 

Suggestion #2: Just great, my classes don't even start in six freaking hours.

Note: Just great is a fragment, and unless the number is over one hundred you should type out the word instead of using the number. 

Original: Or probably just a disturbing dream, since it's not  scary enough to be a nightmre. For me, at least. 

Correction: Or probably just a disturbing dream since it's not  scary enough to be a nightmare, for me at least. 

Note: For me, at least is also a fragment.

Original: I start to reminisce everything that happened in that drream, which are actually fragments of my past. I just really need to get it off my mind. And yes, it's weird how recalling things gets my mind clear.

Correction: I start to reminisce everything that happened in that dream, which are actually fragments of my past. I just really need to get it off my mind, and yes it's weird how recalling things gets my mind clear.

Original: That world is co-existent yet parallel to the human word, and the closest place to match that is the Distortion World or something mentioned in some anime movie I've watched (A/N: Giratina and the Sky Warrior). 

Correction: That world is co-existent yet parallel to the human word, and the closest place to match that is the Distortion World.

Suggestion: That world is co-existent yet parallel to the human word, and the closest place to match is the Distortion World.

Original: Creatures that are normally considered mythical are there. Vampires who are way cooler than that sparkly guy, harpies, chimeras, elementals, angels, demons, werewolves--you name it. 

Suggestion: Creatures that are normally considered mythical are there; vampires who are way cooler than that sparkly guy, harpies, chimeras, elementals, angels, demons, werewolves--you name it. 

Note: If I've made a mistake myself or you think the correction isn't needed or right, comment down below so I can fix it or explain it to you. 

(3/5) Overall Enjoyment: Dude, my friend, author, I absolutely love fiction. I mean, who doesn't? It's your own world and you don't have to follow anyone's rules. I was fangirling by just looking at your supernatural tag. It's kind of a cheatsheet to give me a fictional story, so you surely picked the right reviewer! The reason why the two points to total five is missing is under interest, sidenote, and additional comments. 

(60/100) Points Total However cheatsheets are only for my enjoyment, they won't boast or lower your grade at all. 

Bonus: Your questions and focuses for us:

Plotline: Found under storyline/plot

Interests: I lost interest during the second chapter. There's no "Holy lord, why didn't I find this story earlier?" Trust me, I actually say that a lot and it was a disappointment for me not to say it for this story.

Side note: I didn't mention this under overal enjoyment, but I dislike stories that use freaking or curse words in general. I know freaking isn't considered a curse word, rather it's a substitute for the word ing. Don't use f**king, you're already saying the word so what's the point of hiding it?

Even though I don't prefer you to curse, I'd rather you to say the actual word instead of using a childish word. If you're not comfortable with using the real curse words, than don't use any nor their replacement. You censored the word like s**t but you didn't do it for storm. Hell doesn't belong in my book of curse words because I believe that it's just another world underground, even if people use it out of context. 

Flow: Found under storyline/plot

Holes: Sorry I lost myself in your story so many times because it didn't catch my attention, so there were a lot of holes. 

Additional comment; I know you're writing in first person, and everyone has their own childish thoughts when they're late, when they're mad, etc. The sarcastic comments (ex; Just great.) aren't needed because the readers will already know how the character in the story feels. For me that ruined the story a little too much.  

Note: Side note and additional comments were written when I was done reading the first chapter. That's not a good sign. If you thought this review was unfair, remember that I'm your chosen reviewer, and I'm just one person. 

Reviewer's troll comment #2; Not really a troll comment because I trolled only myself, but sorry that it took so long. I actually started to read your story two days after you requested. I read it at around twelve somethingAM on the 23rd and finished a few chapters around one. I thought that I had bookmarked the chaptered that I finished reading on, but somehow it got mixed up and bookmarked another chapter. 

At school I'm basically know for having the worst memory, no one can trust me with anything. I couldn't remember what chapter I was on so I had to reread your whole story the same day. I have a pretty bad temper too so my reaction to this was "Ohmygod I ain't doing this no more." Soerhh, yeah this is the reason why it took a long time for me to finish your review. 

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