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Author: caleesia
Reviewed By: KaihleeLo

Requested Date: 8/16/16

Review Completion: 8/19/16
Story Link: Link
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Bonus: (Your questions and focuses for us here): 

Plot and character development specifically: Can be found under character development/showcasing.

Title: 8/10

Logical: 2/3

As of now I can't see how time has much to do with the plot. What about time that is infinite? What made this infinite in time significant? Time obviously was referenced as the three leads grew up together and such, but 'time is finite' is yet to be apparent. And which point in time, which thing in time is 'infinite'?
Eye-catching: 3/3
Personally the title would captured my attention and so does the summary. But for it to be completely about time, it's not. 

Original: 3/4
I can't say the title is original but I can see how it will tie in with the story much later on. So far there's nine chapters and I'm sure there will probably be another ten chapters(?) or so. Also the way the title is worded, I have yet to see a title like yours. 

Description/Foreword: 10/10

Summary: 5/5

The summary was very detailed and captivating. The way it was worded and told made me imagine the scene vividly. However there were some minor error just I thought I'd point out one. 

Original: Jongin had helped me stick on a cartoon Band-Aid he had been saving, and Sehun had given me his favourite toy to comfort me. 

Suggestion: ..., and Sehun comforted me with his favourite toy. 

Appearance: 5/5
The layout was simple and straightforward, font was readable and easy to the eye. 

Character Development/Showcasing: 10/10

Development: 5/5

First off I decided to make comments on each of the three lead separately, just so you got a gist of my thought process and what I got from reading about them.

Arang: Our main OC character. As you said Arang was written in ways you and some people you know are so she's very realistic. In fact at times I find myself in her which is why I had no problem reading this story. As the story was told from her perspective and since she was as real as it gets, it wasn't one of those stories where a reader can't relate but has to force his/herself to read just to know what happens next. All in all Arang is very simple and realistic. I can see how and when she must have matured from her naughty, troublemaking days. It could either be when her mother became ill or the day she fell in love with Sehun. I also love how well thoughtout Arang is. When you mentioned her scratching at her nail polish I immediately thought she must be well off, especially with her mother in the hospital, cause she's not a working high schooler.  As working high schoolers would be found in restaurants and such and those places don't normally allow nail polish or heavy make-up. And as the author and creator you confirmed that for me when the scene of Arang and her father ate together. Her father is the breadwinner and made Arang's life easiler. Like most people Arang reacts and interact differently to her group of friends, we can tell who she's closed to and who she's acquainted to but has no true closeness too. She may even be on awkward term with them cause we are like that with some friends. 

Jongin: I feel like Jongin is our male lead even though Arang like Sehun so I decided to go with him next. Whether Jongin has matured as a kid or not is not certain but you can tell has has grown up a lot. He's a very stable and developed character in my opinion. He's carefree and honest. He's Arang's supporter and possibly her only friend who knew the limit of lines to and not to cross. Jongin as we know is also a dancer and had teamed up with classmate Taemin as a duo, so we got the idea that he's into dancing. It made me wonder when he had started liking dancing while growing up with Arang. He's also a sleepyhead who sleeps in class and doesn't care much for school, however he does show up to school maybe to help Arang and be around Arang. 

Sehun: Sehun is a very mysterious character, despite the many details we got of him from Arang. In the three years that Sehun was in China, he let on that he got into some trouble and it changed his character, from what Arang could remember. Sehun is definitely well-liked by many of his friends but he's the type that is used to the attention, so any care he receieves he sees it as nagging or scolding. Sehun is also the type that doesn't seem to lead others on with his straightforward-ness. 

Relation/Cast: 5/5
There were a lot of characters and they all had their own unique appeal. However, it's one of those stories where the readers should know a little about the idols used as characters and a whole lot about SM, as all but Arang came from SM. Honestly I didn't know Wendy and Sulli's Korean names so I thought Wend was an OC. For Sulli, her surname wasn't menioned until chapter nine so when I went to search up her name a model came up, so I imagined Jinri being a model the whole story (lol). 

Otherwise the relationship between all characters are there, they were all link together one way or another. 

Simply Arang is more playful with Sehun, more comfortable with Jongin, and more thoughtful with her father. Her tie with men in general is realistic and very relatable. 

Though I did have a question about Sehun and Jinri's relationship: At the party (I believe) Sehun said Jinri asked him out? But near the end it was that Sehun followed Jinri around and asked her out. It was a bit confusing there but I assumed there were a break in between so it was understandably a small mix-up. 

Behind the Author's Mind: 39/40

Logical: 10/10

Normally for stories with high schoolers I wonder how they're doing with school and work, but you've got all of it covered including the romantic side of it. 
Original: 10/10
It's not my first time reading a story with a returning crush but yours was definitely original. The small perks made it a whole lot different including your writing style, which I really liked and admire. 
Tone: 5/5
The tone of the story was set by the character's dialogue and it really set in as we the readers were able to easily visualized the scenes. We could easily read when a scene was awkward, friendly, comfortable, playful, and whatnot.  

Narration: 5/5

I'm glad the story was told from Arang as she's an OC so it gave readers a better insighter of what she's like, in terms of thinking and speaking. 
Storyline: 9/10
I truly love the storyline from chapter one to nine. At times I get confuse as to who was speaking and or if we're back in present time but otherwise the flow and plot is easy to follow. The story has a lot of the reality affects that makes it uniquely original and relatable. But what made the story amazing is really the character interaction and the small detail information and twists. Your story isn't one where you need a major twist to hook readers because they should have been captured by the character's personalities. If you had made Sehun kiss Arang at the party it would have quickly became one of those clique stories. Sehun is, excuse my choice of word, a womanizer but for him not having done anything to Arang yet meant he had standards or even respect for her. Small things like that are what matters. 

Also normally it would be nice to get a glimpse of the characters surrounding but this one wasn't very important. I'm glad you paid more attention to your large cast rather than say the color of Sehun's house or the wallpaper design in Arang's kitchen. 

Proper Use of the English Language: 23/25

Proper Grammar/Punctuation: 9/10

Minor errors were spotted, but it could easily be fixed with proof-reading or beta-reading. I pointed some down below:  

Original: “It’s lonely at home by myself. Besides,” I chuckled tiredly here, “Your mother cooks enough for the two of us.” (Chapter 2)

Suggestion: “It’s lonely at home by myself. Besides,” I chuckled tiredly here, “your mother cooked enough for the two of us.” 

Original: ...snooker and foosball in her huge games room.  (Chapter 3)

Suggestion: ...snooker and foosball in her huge game room. 

Original: “Yes.” He reached out to still my hand,...

Suggestion: “Yes.” He reached out to steal my hand,...

Advice: When it comes to dialouges I noticed you space them out, even when the next line is followed by the same character. I suggest putting them together in one paragraph despite the time gap in between. When some readers see the next paragraph it's easy to assume it was said by the opposite party. 

Termonology: 5/5
Your endless usage of proper termonologies were outstanding. It definitely made your story a better and good read if say you didn't use as many distinctive terms. 
 

Language Barrier: 9/10
At first I didn't expect to see any Korean phrases but then 'Oppa' jumped out at me in chapter three and seven. Then 'sshi' was used in chapter seven as well. Using Korean phrases  in a story isn't exctly a horrible thing (I'm guilty of it myself) but as a reviewer it's my job to be picky at certain point. The whole story was and is written in English, but the little Korean words can easily thrown someone off. Readers know the characters are Korean and that the story most likely took place in Korea with Koreans speaking Korean. So automatically they may have already imagined the characters addressing one another with phrases such as oppa, unnie/eonnie, sshi, etc. 

However, as an author it's also a task to be mindful of those who may not understand Korean phrases. It's like an author using a large, difficult English word despite the story being in English. Readers who does not know the meaning of the word may pause and leave to search up the meaning of the term. That same applies to when an author uses Korean words. 

Also people may be familiar with the sound and word 'sshi', but some don't understand that in the word itself there's rank, certain relationship ties, formality, informality, etc. So they can't read what the relationship is really like between the characters other than their interaction if they don't get that. 

General Enjoyment/Last Comment: 5/5
I'm subscribed and going to stay subscribed. I hope to see an update soon because I can't wait to see what happen next. Like c'mon if I unsubscribe after finding out that Sehun has some troubled past or in the now then I'm positive it would have been my loss. I wholeheartedly enjoyed this story, it kept me on my toes and kept me smiling at times. 

I hope this review was a little helpful, thank you for requesting again!

Total Points: 95/100