Metempsychosis - Baobei--
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BAOBEI--
REQUEST ON: 10/13/15
REVIEWER: BLACKROSESTEARS
FINISHED ON: 10/21/15
SCORE: 92/100
TITLE: (10/10)
LOGICAL (3/3) - IT CAN BE DIFFICULT AT FIRST TO UNDERSTAND YOUR TITLE AND TO FIND A CONNECTION TO THE STORY BUT IT IS THERE AND IT IS REALLY GOOD.
EYE-CATCHING (3/3) - IT IS A REALLY INTERESTING TITLE BECAUSE NOT MANY WILL KNOW THE MEANING BEHIND IT WITHOUT LOOKING IT UP AND THEY ALSO HAVE TO CHECK OUT YOUR STORY IN ORDER TO FIND OUT WHAT THE STORY IS ABOUT WITH SUCH AN INTERESTING TITLE.
ORIGINAL (4/4) - THE TITLE IS REALLY REFRESHING BECAUSE THERE ARE NO OTHER STORIES WITH THE SAME OR A SIMILAR TITLE WHICH IS REALLY GOOD BECAUSE IT MAKES YOUR STORY EXTRA SPECIAL.
STORY'S FOREWORD/DESCRIPTION (10/10)
STORY'S SUMMARY (5/5) - YOUR FOREWORD IS REALLY INTERESTING, IT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD STORY AND NOT LIKE A PLOT THAT IS USED TOO OFTEN. YOU DON'T REVEAL TOO MUCH ALREADY NO, INSTEAD IT IS WRITTEN THAT THERE IS A CERTAIN CURIOSITY AND SOME QUESTIONS IN THE HEAD OF THE READER ABOUT THE STORY THAT WANTS TO BE SOLVED.
APPEARANCE (5/5) - THE APPEARANCE OF THE FOREWORD AND DESCRIPTION IS GOOD, IT IS ORGANIZED WITH A GOOD STRUCTURE AND NOT MESSY AND CONFUSING.
CHARACTERS/CASTS (9/10)
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT (4/5) - SO FAR THERE IS NO BIG DEVELOPMENT TO SEE IN YOUR CHARACTERS.
CHARACTER'S RELATIONS (5/5) - I LIKE THE INTERACTIONS OF YOUR CHARACTERS SO FAR BECAUSE THEY SEEM REALLY REALISTIC. IT IS REALLY CUTE HOW JONGDAE CARES FOR YIXING AND COMES TO CALM HIM DOWN WHEN THE OTHER IS PANICKING. JONGDAE IS REALLY CARING TOWARDS YIXING AND SEEMS TO KNOW HIM PRETTY GOOD THAT SOMETIMES I CAN'T HELP BUT TO THINK THAT HE MAYBE LIKES HIM MORE AS JUST AS FRIENDS BUT THEN THERE IS MINSEOK AND THEIR RELATION IS JUST A MYSTERY TO ME SO FAR. SO I AM NOT SURE WHETHER YIXING INTERPRETS TOO MUCH INTO JONGDAES ACTIONS AND JONGDAE REALLY LIKES MINSEOK OR YIXING IS RIGHT AND THE WHOLE THING WITH MINSEOK IS JUST A SHOW.
FOR YIXING I HAVE TO SAY THAT THE WAY HE EASILY LOSES CONCENTRATION WAS REALLY GOOD DESCRIBED BECAUSE I WAS ABLE TO UNDERSTAND HIM AND IT FELT AT SOME PARTS LIKE I WAS YIXING WHO HAS A HARD TIME CONCENTRATION ON SOME THINGS.
FOR SEHUN, HE IS A MYSTERY TOO THAT HAS TO BE SOLVED AND IT WILL BE INTERESTING TO KNOW WHETHER HE IS HUMAN OR NOT BECAUSE THERE ARE TIMES HE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE ONE.
FOR YIXING I HAVE TO SAY THAT THE WAY HE EASILY LOSES CONCENTRATION WAS REALLY GOOD DESCRIBED BECAUSE I WAS ABLE TO UNDERSTAND HIM AND IT FELT AT SOME PARTS LIKE I WAS YIXING WHO HAS A HARD TIME CONCENTRATION ON SOME THINGS.
FOR SEHUN, HE IS A MYSTERY TOO THAT HAS TO BE SOLVED AND IT WILL BE INTERESTING TO KNOW WHETHER HE IS HUMAN OR NOT BECAUSE THERE ARE TIMES HE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE ONE.
THE AUTHOR'S MINDSET (35/40)
LOGICALLY (9/10) - THE PLOT OF THE STORY MAKES SENSE IN ITS OWN WAY BECAUSE I AM NOT SURE IF SOMETHING LIKE THIS WILL HAPPEN IN REALITY BUT THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE IT IN THE STORY DOES MAKE SENSE.
ORIGINALITY (9/10) - THERE ARE NOT MANY STORIES WITH THIS PLOT SO YES, YOUR STORY IS PRETTY UNIQUE.
TONE (4/5) - SO FAR IT IS KIND OF DARK DURING SOME PARTS OF THE STORY AND NOT MUCH ROMANCE WHICH I THINK WILL START WITH THE NEXT FUTURE CHAPTERS. BUT BESIDES THAT THE MOODS IS GOOD IN THE SEPARATED SITUATIONS.
NARRATION (5/5) - THE POVS OF THE STORY IS GOOD, YOU DON'T CHANGE IT TOO OFTEN OF TOO SUDDEN AND YOU STICK TO ONE POV WHEN YOU CHOSE ONE.
STORYLINE (8/10) - SO FAR THE STORY IS GOOD BECAUSE YOU HAVE A GOOD WRITING STYLE AND IT IS AN INTERESTING PLOT. YOU DESCRIBE EVERYTHING REALLY DETAILED SO IT IS EASY TO IMAGINE THE PLACES, PERSONS OR THE FEELINGS OF YOUR CHARACTERS WHICH IS SOMETHING I LIKE ABOUT YOUR STORY. WHAT I ESPECIALLY LIKE IS HOW YOU DESCRIBE YIXING AND THE FACT THAT IT IS HARD FOR HIM TO CONCENTRATE ON CERTAIN THINGS BECAUSE YOU DESCRIBE IT REALLY GOOD SO IT IS ALMOST LIKE YOU ARE YIXING HIMSELF.
THEN THERE IS THIS MYSTERIOUS BOY THAT APPEARS AND DISAPPEARS AGAIN AND AGAIN LEAVING OLD PICTURES BEHIND WITH A COUPLE ON IT. ONE OF THE TWO GUYS OF THE PHOTO LOOKS LIKE YIXING SO HOW IS THIS GUY AND WHO IS THIS GUY THAT LOOKS LIKE YIXING. IT IS GOOD HOW YOU REVEAL THINGS AND COME UP WITH NEW THINGS THAT KEEP THE INTEREST IN THE STORY THOUGH I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT IT WAS HARD FOR ME TO READ IT AT THE START BECAUSE IT DIDN'T REALLY HOOKED ME UP SO FAR.
THEN THERE IS THIS MYSTERIOUS BOY THAT APPEARS AND DISAPPEARS AGAIN AND AGAIN LEAVING OLD PICTURES BEHIND WITH A COUPLE ON IT. ONE OF THE TWO GUYS OF THE PHOTO LOOKS LIKE YIXING SO HOW IS THIS GUY AND WHO IS THIS GUY THAT LOOKS LIKE YIXING. IT IS GOOD HOW YOU REVEAL THINGS AND COME UP WITH NEW THINGS THAT KEEP THE INTEREST IN THE STORY THOUGH I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT IT WAS HARD FOR ME TO READ IT AT THE START BECAUSE IT DIDN'T REALLY HOOKED ME UP SO FAR.
PROPER USE OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (25/25)
PROPER GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION (10/10) -SO FAR THE GRAMMAR AND THE PUNCTUATION IS REALLY GOOD SO KEEP ON GOING LIKE THAT.
TERMINOLOGY (5/5) - YOU DIDN'T USE THE SAME WORDS OR SENTENCES OVER AND OVER AGAIN BUT INSTEAD COME UP WITH OTHER WORDS WITH A SIMILAR MEANING THAT WERE EASY TO UNDERSTAND TOO.
LANGUAGE BARRIER (10/10) - THE WAS NO OVERUSE OF KOREAN WORDS, NO LANGUAGE BARRIER.
REVIEWER'S ENJOYMENT (3/5)
ALL IN ALL I THINK IT IS A GOOD STORY BUT THERE IS STILL SOMETHING MISSING THAT HOOKS ME UP TO CONTINUE TO READ IT. MAYBE IT WILL COME WITH THE NEXT CHAPTER BECAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE WE GET SOME INFORMATION ABOUT SEHUN.
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