Metempsychosis - Baobei--

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BAOBEI--
REQUEST ON: 10/13/15
REVIEWER: BLACKROSESTEARS
FINISHED ON: 10/21/15
SCORE: 92/100
TITLE: (10/10)
LOGICAL (3/3) - IT CAN BE DIFFICULT AT FIRST TO UNDERSTAND YOUR TITLE AND TO FIND A CONNECTION TO THE STORY BUT IT IS THERE AND IT IS REALLY GOOD.
EYE-CATCHING (3/3) - IT IS A REALLY INTERESTING TITLE BECAUSE NOT MANY WILL KNOW THE MEANING BEHIND IT WITHOUT LOOKING IT UP AND THEY ALSO HAVE TO CHECK OUT YOUR STORY IN ORDER TO FIND OUT WHAT THE STORY IS ABOUT WITH SUCH AN INTERESTING TITLE.
ORIGINAL (4/4) - THE TITLE IS REALLY REFRESHING BECAUSE THERE ARE NO OTHER STORIES WITH THE SAME OR A SIMILAR TITLE WHICH IS REALLY GOOD BECAUSE IT MAKES YOUR STORY EXTRA SPECIAL.
 
STORY'S FOREWORD/DESCRIPTION (10/10)
STORY'S SUMMARY (5/5) - YOUR FOREWORD IS REALLY INTERESTING, IT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD STORY AND NOT LIKE A PLOT THAT IS USED TOO OFTEN. YOU DON'T REVEAL TOO MUCH ALREADY NO, INSTEAD IT IS WRITTEN THAT THERE IS A CERTAIN CURIOSITY AND SOME QUESTIONS IN THE HEAD OF THE READER ABOUT THE STORY THAT WANTS TO BE SOLVED.
APPEARANCE (5/5) - THE APPEARANCE OF THE FOREWORD AND DESCRIPTION IS GOOD, IT IS ORGANIZED WITH A GOOD STRUCTURE AND NOT MESSY AND CONFUSING.
 
CHARACTERS/CASTS (9/10)
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT (4/5) - SO FAR THERE IS NO BIG DEVELOPMENT TO SEE IN YOUR CHARACTERS.
CHARACTER'S RELATIONS (5/5) - I LIKE THE INTERACTIONS OF YOUR CHARACTERS SO FAR BECAUSE THEY SEEM REALLY REALISTIC. IT IS REALLY CUTE HOW JONGDAE CARES FOR YIXING AND COMES TO CALM HIM DOWN WHEN THE OTHER IS PANICKING. JONGDAE IS REALLY CARING TOWARDS YIXING AND SEEMS TO KNOW HIM PRETTY GOOD THAT SOMETIMES I CAN'T HELP BUT TO THINK THAT HE MAYBE LIKES HIM MORE AS JUST AS FRIENDS BUT THEN THERE IS MINSEOK AND THEIR RELATION IS JUST A MYSTERY TO ME SO FAR. SO I AM NOT SURE WHETHER YIXING INTERPRETS TOO MUCH INTO JONGDAES ACTIONS AND JONGDAE REALLY LIKES MINSEOK OR YIXING IS RIGHT AND THE WHOLE THING WITH MINSEOK IS JUST A SHOW.
FOR YIXING I HAVE TO SAY THAT THE WAY HE EASILY LOSES CONCENTRATION WAS REALLY GOOD DESCRIBED BECAUSE I WAS ABLE TO UNDERSTAND HIM AND IT FELT AT SOME PARTS LIKE I WAS YIXING WHO HAS A HARD TIME CONCENTRATION ON SOME THINGS.
FOR SEHUN, HE IS A MYSTERY TOO THAT HAS TO BE SOLVED AND IT WILL BE INTERESTING TO KNOW WHETHER HE IS HUMAN OR NOT BECAUSE THERE ARE TIMES HE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE ONE.
 
THE AUTHOR'S MINDSET (35/40)
LOGICALLY (9/10) - THE PLOT OF THE STORY MAKES SENSE IN ITS OWN WAY BECAUSE I AM NOT SURE IF SOMETHING LIKE THIS WILL HAPPEN IN REALITY BUT THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE IT IN THE STORY DOES MAKE SENSE.
ORIGINALITY (9/10) - THERE ARE NOT MANY STORIES WITH THIS PLOT SO YES, YOUR STORY IS PRETTY UNIQUE.
TONE (4/5) - SO FAR IT IS KIND OF DARK DURING SOME PARTS OF THE STORY AND NOT MUCH ROMANCE WHICH I THINK WILL START WITH THE NEXT FUTURE CHAPTERS. BUT BESIDES THAT THE MOODS IS GOOD IN THE SEPARATED SITUATIONS.
NARRATION (5/5) - THE POVS OF THE STORY IS GOOD, YOU DON'T CHANGE IT TOO OFTEN OF TOO SUDDEN AND YOU STICK TO ONE POV WHEN YOU CHOSE ONE.
STORYLINE (8/10) - SO FAR THE STORY IS GOOD BECAUSE YOU HAVE A GOOD WRITING STYLE AND IT IS AN INTERESTING PLOT. YOU DESCRIBE EVERYTHING REALLY DETAILED SO IT IS EASY TO IMAGINE THE PLACES, PERSONS OR THE FEELINGS OF YOUR CHARACTERS WHICH IS SOMETHING I LIKE ABOUT YOUR STORY. WHAT I ESPECIALLY LIKE IS HOW YOU DESCRIBE YIXING AND THE FACT THAT IT IS HARD FOR HIM TO CONCENTRATE ON CERTAIN THINGS BECAUSE YOU DESCRIBE IT REALLY GOOD SO IT IS ALMOST LIKE YOU ARE YIXING HIMSELF.
THEN THERE IS THIS MYSTERIOUS BOY THAT APPEARS AND DISAPPEARS AGAIN AND AGAIN LEAVING OLD PICTURES BEHIND WITH A COUPLE ON IT. ONE OF THE TWO GUYS OF THE PHOTO LOOKS LIKE YIXING SO HOW IS THIS GUY AND WHO IS THIS GUY THAT LOOKS LIKE YIXING. IT IS GOOD HOW YOU REVEAL THINGS AND COME UP WITH NEW THINGS THAT KEEP THE INTEREST IN THE STORY THOUGH I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT IT WAS HARD FOR ME TO READ IT AT THE START BECAUSE IT DIDN'T REALLY HOOKED ME UP SO FAR.
 
PROPER USE OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (25/25)
PROPER GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION (10/10) -SO FAR THE GRAMMAR AND THE PUNCTUATION IS REALLY GOOD SO KEEP ON GOING LIKE THAT.
TERMINOLOGY (5/5) - YOU DIDN'T USE THE SAME WORDS OR SENTENCES OVER AND OVER AGAIN BUT INSTEAD COME UP WITH OTHER WORDS WITH A SIMILAR MEANING THAT WERE EASY TO UNDERSTAND TOO.
LANGUAGE BARRIER (10/10) - THE WAS NO OVERUSE OF KOREAN WORDS, NO LANGUAGE BARRIER.
 
REVIEWER'S ENJOYMENT (3/5)
ALL IN ALL I THINK IT IS A GOOD STORY BUT THERE IS STILL SOMETHING MISSING THAT HOOKS ME UP TO CONTINUE TO READ IT. MAYBE IT WILL COME WITH THE NEXT CHAPTER BECAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE WE GET SOME INFORMATION ABOUT SEHUN.
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Comments

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WooGyu_KyuSung_YooSu
#1
One more thing. I know the Description and the forward are super long. But I planned this story to be like a Novella/Soap Opera.
It may seem like I'm giving away to much in the Description and The Forward, but as you realize you might notice that I haven't.
There are three main parts to this story:
The Past-Childhood
The Past- Orphans/Teens
The Present- The main setting, in which the forward revealed nothing.

I'm an interactive author, meaning I ask questions at the end and leave hints here and there for the readers to try there best at guessing. (They become more invested in my story this way, lol)
WooGyu_KyuSung_YooSu
#2
-Username : WooGyu_KyuSung_YooSu
-Profile link : http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/49463

- Story title : Love Me Right
- Story link : http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/976222/love-me-right-mpreg-hunhan-taoris-kaisoo-sulay-chanbaek-chenmin

-Genre : OT12, Angst, Mpreg, Fluff, Comedy, Growth, Friendship, Life, and "LEARNING TO LOVE"

- On-going | To be a long fic.

- Reviewer : KaihleeLo

- So The title of the fic is "Love Me Right", but it has nothing to do with the EXO song; even though some would just assume. The reason why I titled it 'Love Me Right' is because 6 of the main characters suffered in their childhood and eventually were orphaned. They don't know how to let themselves love. In particular, Luhan. As for the other 6 'Love' and 'Lust' are two different things.

- So before you read, I would like to point out, that the pacing of the story and the built up is exactly how I planned. I don't want to rush Romance because you don't 'fall in love' over night, and the characters need to mature. Also, there is a pattern to my chapters "The Past" chapters are essentially flashbacks. "The Present" is taking place now. For every 5 "The Present" chapters, it will be followed by 2 "The Past" chapters; Childhood/Teen years.

- I have a reader who offered to proofread my chapters since I had some typos, and I don't have the time to go back and fix them. "I always update between 12 am - 5 am, so that is the main reason". She is still editing the earlier chapters so please realize I am fixing the errors.


Oh gosh this was a lot. I'm sorry. I'm just really nervous, and I wanted to explain the above before you review.
-Tigress-
#3
Chapter 127: Hey can I have someone send me my review here so I can save it?
This archive is non-selectable so I can't save it myself.