fabzgh0ulx - A Smile On Her Lips But Scars On Her Wrists.
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REQUEST ON: 14/08/2015
REVIEWER: EXO_SHIDAE03
FINISHED ON: 21/08/15
SCORE: 91/100
TITLE: (10/10)
YES,IT IS LOGICAL. IT FITS YOUR STORY PLOT WELL.GOOD TITLE. WHEN I FIRST SAW THE TITLE, I IMMEDIATELY WANTED TO READ THE STORY. IT IS ALSO ORIGINAL. I HAVEN'T SEEN A TITLE LIKE THAT BEFORE. GOOD JOB!
STORY'S FOREWORD/DESCRIPTION (6/10)
IN YOUR DESCRIPTION, IT INTRIDGUES ME BUT THE FORWORD IS WAY TOO LONG. TRY NOT TO GIVE AWAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION. WORK MORE ON YOUR PARAGRAPHING
CHARACTERS/CASTS (10/10)
THEY WERE WELL DONE, SEEING AS THEY HAVE THEIR OWN CONNECTION WITH ONE ANOTHER.I COULD IMAGINE THEM AS REAL POEPLE AND RELEATE THEM TO REAL LIFE
THE AUTHOR'S MINDSET (40/40)
A SMILE ON HER LIPS BUT A SCAR ON YOUR WRIST, MADE TOTAL SENSE, I THINK THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENS IN REAL LIFE TO REAL PEOPLE. THE STORYLINE WAS GOOD, TOTALLY NEW.THE FLOW WAS WRITTEN NICELY AND SMOOTHLY.ESPECIALLY AT THE END OF THE STORY, IT WAS WONDERFUL BUT REALLY SAD
PROPER USE OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (22/25)
YOU DIDN'T PUT THE COMMA IN SOME OF THE SENTENCE.INSTEAD OF , "I'VE STOPPED DOING SELF GARMING THE MOMENT JONGIN STEPPED IN MY LIFE," YOU SHOULD WRITE, " I HAVE STOP HARMING MYSELF THE MOMENT JONGIN STEPPED INTO MY LIFE. THERE WERE SOME MISTAKES IN YOUR SENTENCE STRUCTURE. YOU USED LIMITED AMOUNT OF VOCABULARY. EXPAND IT A LITTLE MORE.YOU HAVE ALSO HARDLY USE AND KOREAN WORDS
REVIEWER'S ENJOYMENT (3/5)
THE END OF YOUR FLASHBACK WAS QUITE PLAIN. THE BEGINNING WAS QUITE BORING BUT THE END MADE ME REALY ANXIOUS.
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