fabzgh0ulx - A Smile On Her Lips But Scars On Her Wrists.

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REQUEST ON: 14/08/2015
REVIEWER: EXO_SHIDAE03
FINISHED ON: 21/08/15
SCORE: 91/100
TITLE: (10/10) 
YES,IT IS LOGICAL. IT FITS YOUR STORY PLOT WELL.GOOD TITLE. WHEN I FIRST SAW THE TITLE, I IMMEDIATELY WANTED TO READ THE STORY. IT IS ALSO ORIGINAL. I HAVEN'T SEEN A TITLE LIKE THAT BEFORE. GOOD JOB!
 
STORY'S FOREWORD/DESCRIPTION (6/10)
IN YOUR DESCRIPTION, IT INTRIDGUES ME BUT THE FORWORD IS WAY TOO LONG. TRY NOT TO GIVE AWAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION. WORK MORE ON YOUR PARAGRAPHING
 
CHARACTERS/CASTS (10/10)
THEY WERE WELL DONE, SEEING AS THEY HAVE THEIR OWN CONNECTION WITH ONE ANOTHER.I COULD IMAGINE THEM AS REAL POEPLE AND RELEATE THEM TO REAL LIFE
 
THE AUTHOR'S MINDSET (40/40)
A SMILE ON HER LIPS BUT A SCAR ON YOUR WRIST, MADE TOTAL SENSE, I THINK THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENS IN REAL LIFE TO REAL PEOPLE. THE STORYLINE WAS GOOD, TOTALLY NEW.THE FLOW WAS WRITTEN NICELY AND SMOOTHLY.ESPECIALLY AT THE END OF THE STORY, IT WAS WONDERFUL BUT REALLY SAD
 
 
PROPER USE OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (22/25)
 YOU DIDN'T PUT THE COMMA IN SOME OF THE SENTENCE.INSTEAD OF , "I'VE STOPPED DOING SELF GARMING THE MOMENT JONGIN STEPPED IN MY LIFE," YOU SHOULD WRITE, " I HAVE STOP HARMING MYSELF THE MOMENT JONGIN STEPPED INTO MY LIFE. THERE WERE SOME MISTAKES IN YOUR SENTENCE STRUCTURE. YOU USED LIMITED AMOUNT OF VOCABULARY. EXPAND IT A LITTLE MORE.YOU HAVE ALSO HARDLY USE AND KOREAN WORDS
 
 
 
REVIEWER'S ENJOYMENT (3/5)
THE END OF YOUR FLASHBACK WAS QUITE PLAIN. THE BEGINNING WAS QUITE BORING BUT THE END MADE ME REALY ANXIOUS.
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WooGyu_KyuSung_YooSu
#1
One more thing. I know the Description and the forward are super long. But I planned this story to be like a Novella/Soap Opera.
It may seem like I'm giving away to much in the Description and The Forward, but as you realize you might notice that I haven't.
There are three main parts to this story:
The Past-Childhood
The Past- Orphans/Teens
The Present- The main setting, in which the forward revealed nothing.

I'm an interactive author, meaning I ask questions at the end and leave hints here and there for the readers to try there best at guessing. (They become more invested in my story this way, lol)
WooGyu_KyuSung_YooSu
#2
-Username : WooGyu_KyuSung_YooSu
-Profile link : http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/49463

- Story title : Love Me Right
- Story link : http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/976222/love-me-right-mpreg-hunhan-taoris-kaisoo-sulay-chanbaek-chenmin

-Genre : OT12, Angst, Mpreg, Fluff, Comedy, Growth, Friendship, Life, and "LEARNING TO LOVE"

- On-going | To be a long fic.

- Reviewer : KaihleeLo

- So The title of the fic is "Love Me Right", but it has nothing to do with the EXO song; even though some would just assume. The reason why I titled it 'Love Me Right' is because 6 of the main characters suffered in their childhood and eventually were orphaned. They don't know how to let themselves love. In particular, Luhan. As for the other 6 'Love' and 'Lust' are two different things.

- So before you read, I would like to point out, that the pacing of the story and the built up is exactly how I planned. I don't want to rush Romance because you don't 'fall in love' over night, and the characters need to mature. Also, there is a pattern to my chapters "The Past" chapters are essentially flashbacks. "The Present" is taking place now. For every 5 "The Present" chapters, it will be followed by 2 "The Past" chapters; Childhood/Teen years.

- I have a reader who offered to proofread my chapters since I had some typos, and I don't have the time to go back and fix them. "I always update between 12 am - 5 am, so that is the main reason". She is still editing the earlier chapters so please realize I am fixing the errors.


Oh gosh this was a lot. I'm sorry. I'm just really nervous, and I wanted to explain the above before you review.
-Tigress-
#3
Chapter 127: Hey can I have someone send me my review here so I can save it?
This archive is non-selectable so I can't save it myself.