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Author: itspaperkites
Reviewed By: Natocuty

Requested Date: ??/??/16

Review Completion: 14/06/17
Story Link: Link
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Bonus: (Your questions and focuses for us here)

Title: 9/10

Logical: 2.5/3

It's Wendy's favorite spot to sit in whenever she visits Chanyeol's mom's restaurant, the table on which she carved her mom's name. The place and its ambiance and especially the people who work there make it feel like home. The restaurant feels more like home than her own home. The people there (Chanyeol, his brother and mother) are like family. They make her feel loved and cared for. They make her forget her painful past. They manage to compensate the loss she suffered after her mother's death/disappearance. The title fits like a glove because it's not just any table you're reffering to and you've  managed to explain that quite well. 
Eye-catching: 2.5/3
The title is definetly intriguing. It'll prompt the reader to click on it to further dive into the story. 
Original: 4/4
I would say that yes, it is original since I wouldn't have thought of a similar one if I was in your shoes. The title is indeed unique, it can fit in with your story and not anywhere else. 

Description/Foreword: 10/10

Summary: 5/5

It doesn't give away too much but leaves the reader intrigued and begging for more.
Appearance: 5/5
The story's layout is simple and easy to follow.

Character Development/Showcasing: 8/10

Development: 4/5

It's nice how Wendy is not your typical damsel in distress. She has a strong personality. She could have given up at any giving minute but she didn't. It's true that she has a past of self-harming but she is slowly trying to overcome her inner demons. She is trying to be strong for herself and for those around her. And I guess Chanyeol's presence and support made her determination even stronger.

After her mother's death/disappearance her father shut her out, he acted as if he was the only one who was suffering from the loss of a loved one when she was as well, instead of supporting one another through this hard time, he drowned himself with work, sure he still showed signs of worry for his daughter's well-being and was overprotective of her, he still wasn't there for her not the way he should have been. Her father remains a huge mystery, one that should be uncovered in the following chapters. Chanyeol chose the crime life to earn enough money to support his mother and brother after his sorry excuse of a father left them (sadly that man is still pestering them and mooching off of his ex-wife). I like Wendy's and Chanyeol's relationship because they manage to complete each other. They both found a sense of stability and belonging within each other. They can both be who they are and express themselves freely in front of each other, that's why when Chanyeol's mom was on the verge of dying and his brother was kidnapped, she was the only thing he had left, she was the only good thing left in his life, she kept him sane and if she somehow disappeared all of his sanity will disappear with her. It's nice how you offered a back-story for both characters since it helps the reader understand their current personnalities and life-choices.
Relation/Cast: 4/5

Hera is the best-friend any person (guy or girl) would want to have. She's understanding, kind and always there to support and guide Wendy, she's the sister she never had. 

Chanyeol's mom is a very kind and gullible woman, I guess she's still too in love with her ex that she's willing to give him the money she worked hard for. She's like a second mother to Wendy. She had managed to give her all the motherly love and care the young girl was deprived of ever since her biological mom died/disappeared. I'm sure it was hard for Wendy to learn about Mrs. Park's admission to the hospital after being shot by her ex since it must have felt like she was loving a loved one all over again and that's why she was able to relate with Chanyeol and was able to stand by his side during this troubled time. To Chanyeol, his mother and brother are the only family he has left (his sister being deemed as somesort of traitor for leaving them behind and seeking her own happiness though her point of view would be highly appreaciated) and the fact that his brother was kidnapped and his mother was shot by his father, that godforsaken man, made his heart crumble to pieces. Wendy's presence was much appreaciated since she had managed to glue the pieces back together and had helped him maintain the rest of his sanity. The EXO members are a tightly knit unite, they are brothers, I suppose Baekhyun was the closest to Chanyeol and that's why his father decided to kidnapp said guy as well or not...I'm not too sure, it would be nice if you took time to talk about the bond all of the members shared with one another. How did Chanyeol meet them? What kept them together? What's their purpose and why? Who established the group? Why? etc. I still don't get why Chanyeol's dad kidnapped his own son and Baekhyun as well, is it to hurt Chanyeol because he and the rest of EXO apparently took over his turf or something and ruined his plans? His father wanted to hit him where it hurts by shooting his mom and kidnapping his most loved ones, or not? Because he could have kidnapped Wendy as well but he didn't...so I'm not too sure. More insight on EXO's past and the nature of Chanyeol's father's work would be nice. 
Behind the Author's Mind: 31/40

Logical: 7/10

The story is still in its early stages so there's much to be explored and uncovered. I liked the fact that you didn't rush into things. You first gave us an overall idea of Wendy's life and her relationship with her dad and then went on to introduce to Chanyeol and their relationship wasn't forced, they took time to get to know each other. They found in each other what they both lacked a sense of stability and belonging. The prospect of time travel and whatnot was quite sudden, I did not expect that, then again you still haven't diven deeper into the whole concept. I didn't quite grasp the ability of the glass cube, doesn't it permit you to travel to the future? Does it open a portal that can take you there? Or does it permit you to go back in time as well? If so, is that what Wendy's father is aiming to do, to go back in time and rescue his wife? Maybe, maybe not, I'm not quite sure, since you haven't clearly explained the concept of the glass cube yet. What I know is that her father has it (as seen in the first chapter) and there are more than one, seeing how Xiumin was able to get footage of other people using it/having it. And apparently EXO are searching for a specific girl or three individuals that have scars on their wrists to hand them over to some people (a mob/cult) in China to get a hefty sum in return. These three people are described as the "key to the future". I believe that these three are Chanyeol, Wendy and Hera, then again I might be wrong...Anyway the whole thing is rather confusing. You need to explain it in detail. It seems as if you just dropped the bomb without any explanation whatsoever. And is Chanyeol's father after the said individuals? Or the glass cube? Or both?
Original: 7/10
The idea is interesting, very interesting but it hasn't been developped properly. You started off great and then half-way things started to get confusing, it's okay if things are confusing but detailed explanations are needed. What does the glass cube really do? Who are the people in China who are after it? How are they connected to EXO? Why are those three individuals deemed as the "key to the future"? How did Wendy's father manage to find a glass cube himself? And who is the man in black that keeps popping up everywhere, is he somehow related to her father? The following chapters should try to answer these questions and clear things up. 
Tone: 5/5

You managed to describe the feelings and emotions of Chanyeol and Wendy rather well. You could feel the pain Wendy went through at the thought of her mother and how uncomfortable and torn she was when Mrs. Park first asked her to call her "mom" and how angry she was at her dad when he failed to notice her suffering and depressive state, after all they were both hurting from the loss of someone dear to them but her father acted as if he was the only one suffering. I know he loves his daughter but shutting her out and immersing himself in his work is not the way to go. They both needed each other to lean on but he wasn't there for her while Chanyeol was. The array of emotions Chanyeol went through have been beautifully depicted as well.
Naration: 5/5

I like how you alternate between Chanyeol's and Wendy's POVs without making it confusing or annoying. You manage to give the reader a clearer insight on their respective lives, attitudes, mindsets, reactions, thoughts. The reader can easily relate to them since he/she gets to view things in Chanyeol and Wendy's perspective.
Storyline: 7/10
Like I previously mentioned the storyline is indeed interesting but many things need to be cleared up. You started off great but then the questions started overruling the answers given which weren't much to begin with.

There's a scene I did not quite get in the story, one, that maybe takes place in the future I'm not too sure...In it Hera and Chanyeol know each other quite well, she runs to him to give him back his earphones, the male apparently isn't very fond of her and suddenly  the girl dashes to Wendy's house followed by Chanyeol were they find the said girl with her father unconscious, the father grabs Hera and shows her something related to Baekhyun whom she apparently knows. That scene was quite sudden and really odd to tell you the truth. I don't know where it came from or why it was incorporated in the story at a stage where things aren't clear yet, where the concept of time travel hasn't been fully explained and expanded on.
Proper Use of the English Language: 18/25

You mostly have problems conjugating verbs which is something you need to brush up on. For example : 1- "He say" it should be says instead of say because of the use of the third person "he"

2- "...drench in the rain" it should be drenched not drench.

3- "...lock himself" he locks himself.

4- "I was crying until Hera wipe my tears" it should be wiped my tears, the past tense should be used. 

Don't switch back and forth between tenses. Be consistent. If you start with the past tense continue with the past tense.

I suggest you get someone to proof-read your stories since these mistakes tend to ruin the nice flow of the story.

 General Enjoyment/Last Comment: 3/5

I personally thought the story was rather interesting though half-way through things started to get a bit messy and confusing. I had so many questions and few answers were given, hopefully things will be clearer in the upcoming chapters. 

Total Points: 79/100