NOTE: Two chapters (Spoiler Alert)

(7/10) Title: If you search "My Everything" on AFF (Asian Fan Fiction), you'd see that there are about 74k (74,000) results similiar to your title. As a writer myself this is what I like to do, when I come up with story titles I like to search them up, to see if it's a common or uncommon title, or even a rare or non-existance title. So maybe you can give that a try as well. Be creative. I can't say the title did the story any justice. It's not intriguing and slightly blunt. It's too direct and gives us no mystery or takes out the purpose as to why we'd have to read the story in order to find out why the title is the title, and what relation does it have with the storyline/plot. 

(7/10) Character: Since the story as mentioned only has two chapters so far and is still on-going, we don't see much character development here. However, I'll point out each character's strenghts and weaknesses as I see fit. 

First off we have Eunji, our main character and even the narrator of the story. Eunji's character comes off as someone who's easy to cry, she doesn't fit the 'tomboy' description in the character list, in fact the story hasn't pointed out where she's tomboy-ish thus far. Instead we do see that Eunji easily cries because of her teacher who she has a crush on. The real-life Eunji may be tomboyish but not this Eunji. I'd like to see more of her tomboy side, like maybe it's the way she wears her school uniform? As mentioned her school uniform got dirty when she fell into mud, but she hated that. To be honest that gives off a more feminine feeling rather than a tomboyish. 

Secondly we have Eunji's teacher who's currently the male Eunji likes. I don't understand him really. Why would he offer Eunji a ride home, sure it's a good-teacher thing but did he really have to force her into his car? Especially when he's fully aware of her feelings? Why does he know where she lives, does he take her home often? Where is Seungho in this when he's supposed to be taking care of her? Is the teacher some player? Why did he follow Eunji to the beach?

Which lead to Seungho who didn't make an appearance until chapter two, but mentioned in the beginning when he was angry at Eunji for unknown reasons. Though Seungho appears kind and caring towards Eunji, he didn't really seem all of that. He gets mad at Eunji and instead of taking control by having her know her love for her teacher was forbidden as she's still a minor, he instead let her told him off, when she used his words against him. I'm not sure if Seungho is taking care of Eunji or if she's taking care of him instead. 

Sohyun and Baekhyun are the side characters who are just there to be the main character's friends. So I wouldn't say much about them. Though I do hope they play major roles later on in the story. (Which I'm sure they will, since the story is just beginning).

(7/10) Originality: The idea of forbidden love and student-teacher crushes are overrated. But I won't mark you down much here since I'm sure the story still has a long way to go, and I'm just merely commenting on two short chapters. 

(35/40) Storyline/Plot: The story left for questions than answers as it's just beginning. I believe the storyline and plot has potential. The phone, the mysterious text messages, Seungho's past that keeps him torturing himself; they are all signs of interesting scenes to come. I especially love the idea of a girl being raised by a man who becomes her everything. The mention of being like her friend, brother, sister, mother, father, etc. It meant he took on quite a huge role where she can easily rely and lean on him, and be comfortable around him. 

(21/25) Grammar/Errors: I believe your knowledge of terms aren't limited, in fact they're quite expanded. The only issue is using some terms in the wrong places, capitalization, sentence sctruction, and grammatical errors. (All are common between writers). Below are some errors from foreword-chapter two I've spotted and included. As for the rest, I believe proofreading and maybe using word doc. to check grammar errors will do.

It's all for proper English purpose, of course you may choose to write in whatever way you wish to.  

Original: "I know that I owe him my life~ yeah! He is the one who kept me while all the people who had to take care of me had gone .He is my father, mother, brother, sister, best friend, love, and,(no comma needed here) simply, my everything (period here) Since I was 5 (five*, never write out numbers under 10 using digits.) I only have seen him. I don't know that much about the years before 5~ all I know, as he told me, that I was adopted by him, and my real parents are unknown. He said that he even doesn't know if they still alive. I have never thought about them exept that day when I ask him about my real parents. I have him.. (ellipses are often misused by many authors. They are always three dots/period, the fourth period is always the period. "..." vs "....") and that's so enough for me." 

Suggestion: "I know that I owe him my life~ yeah! He is the one who took me in, when the people who were supposed to take care of me were gone. He is my father, mother, brother, sister, best friend, love, and simply, my everything. Since age five he has been the only one I've remembered seeing; I can't recall my earlier years. All I know was what he told me, that I was adopted by him and my parents are unknown. He even said he wasn't sure if they were still alive. I have never thought about them except that one day when I asked him about my real parents. I have him...and that's enough for me."

Original: "I am angry till death now. I mean..really~ what a horrible day it is. Starting with oppa getting upset of me with no reason this morning, my school uniform getting dirty due to my fall in a mud spot, and now this.. the teacher that I am in love with, my English teacher, catching me sleeping in his class and punishing me. Now I have to sit like a slave waiting to be executed for a whole damn hour- kneeling on the ground and raising up my arms. I hate it not because its a punishment, but because my feelings were deeply hurt by the one I love."

Suggestion: I am so angry. I mean...really. What a horrible day it is. Starting with oppa getting upset because of me for no reason this morning, my school uniform got dirty due to me falling into a mud spot, and now this....The teacher that I am in love with, my English teacher, caught me sleeping in his class and punished me. Now I have to sit like a slave waiting to be executed for a whole damn hour- kneeling on the ground with my arms raised. I hate it, not because it's a punishment, but because my feelings were deeply hurt by the one I love. (Just be careful with your past and present tense and ellipses.)

Original: "After the end of the class, he left first and rushed me saying in a scolding upset tone,'' Follow me, Eunji!'' I got even fire in my heart and shed tears on my pink cheeks."

Suggestion: "After the end of class, he left first and rushed me by using a scolding, upset tone, ''Follow me, Eunji!'' I even got fire in my heart and shed tears on my pink cheeks."

Original: "I felt that he can not handle my crying self anymore, and although I couldn't stop it easily, I did my best and quiet myself out. He finally could tell me to wait for him at the school gate after finishing my classes, then I could leave somehow satisfied."

Suggestion: I felt that he could not handle my crying self anymore and although I couldn't stop it easily, I did my best and quiet myself down. Finally he told me to wait for him by the school's gate, after I finish my class, then I can leave with satisfaction. (The ending of this paragraph confuse me but hopefully I got what you meant to say.)

Original: '' You can leave now~ and don't forget to hand me your reports next time.. and..'' I could heared our math teacher's voice till that word as I walked out of the class enthusiastically~ all the class did, tho^^ Yay! Finally I will speak out about my love today."

Suggestion: You can leave now and don't forget to hand me your reports next time...and...-" I could only hear our math teacher's voice up to there as I walked out of the class enthusiastically. Finally, I will confess my love today. (I'm not sure what this sign ~ does but it's usually a cheerful sign....I notice you input icons such as 'xd' or '^^', I don't know if you want to add the author's note or reaction into the story that often. Also make sure your quotation marks --> " <-- starts before the beginning of a character's speech and not before a space then the first word.) 

Original: " I felt a little cheered up till he completed with an advising tone,'' I know that you are already aware of our here and the fact that you still a sixteen-year student, so I won't mention anything about it. However, let me say this... I already have a crush, and we're planning an engagement very soon. So.. uhmmm, I think that..'"

Suggestion: His words cheered me up a little until he finished with an advising tone, "I know that you're already aware of our and the fact that you're still a sixteen-year-old student, so I won't mention anything about it. However, let me say this....I already have a crush, and we're planning to get engage very soon. So...uhm, I think that...."

Original: "I felt like dying, and I despairingly walked to the beach so that I may breath some fresh air or I may.. end my life."

Suggestion: I felt like dying and was despairingly walking to the beach, so that I may breathe some fresh air or I may...end my life. (Breath is like one's breath. While breathe is like one breathing.)

Original: "So I growled as an angry lion while I was getting myself up,'' You stupid! Are you blind?'' After he was jogging away, he stopped to look at my face, so I turned to be very afraid as I could see his frightening black face."

Suggestion: So I growled like an angry lion while I was getting up, "You stupid! Are you blind?'' He was jogging away when he stopped to look at my face, suddenly I became afraid, as I could see his frightening black face. (And what did you mean by 'black' here? Also, Eunji is already in a first person point of view so just to be creative with your nouns and pronouns.)

Original: "I hugged oppa tightly when I found him in the kitchen doing the cooking. He looked at me worryingly and hugged my little face softly with his hands' palms."

Suggestion: I hugged oppa tightly when I found him in the kitchen cooking. He looked at me worried and hugged my little face softly with his hands. (Use only hands or palms, basically the same thing.)

(3/5) Overall Enjoyment: The story is just starting so I can't say I overly enjoyed it~ Though it has an interesting plot going on. As mention, I especially love the mystery behind the forbidden/age-gap romance; mainly because I'm a er for mystery, but I can see myself reading this story some more later on. I wish you the best in writing your first English fic, don't ever stop writing. You have a mind of a writer~

(80/100) Points Total

Bonus: Your questions and focuses for us:

The story plot and characters' development: Under story plot and character development~

Thank you for choosing BLK Reviews and for your patience! Hope to hear from you again!

Please don't forget to credit our shop's logo/banner in your Foreword.