Don't Ask - kailuvexo
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KAILUVEXO
REQUEST ON: 11/21/15
REVIEWER: BLACKROSESTEARS
FINISHED ON: 12/13/15
SCORE: 96/100
TITLE: (8/10)
LOGICAL (2/3) - SO FAR I AM NOT REALLY ABLE TO SEE A CONNECTION BETWEEN YOUR TITLE AND THE PLOT SO I HAVE TO SAY THAT IT CONFUSED ME A BIT WHY YOU CHOSE THAT TITLE. BUT I WILL ONLY TAKE AWAY ONE OF THE POINTS BECAUSE YOU ARE PRETTY MUCH STILL AT THE BEGINNING OF THE STORY SO MAYBE THERE IS A CONNECTION IN THE FUTURE.
EYE-CATCHING (2/3) - HONESTLY IT WAS NOT REALLY EYE-CATCHING FOR ME BECAUSE THERE ARE MANY OTHER STORIES WITH TITLES THAT HAVE YOUR TITLE IN IT JUST IN DIFFERENT VARIATIONS. YOUR TITLE WAS NOT REALLY EYE-CATCHING BETWEEN THOSE.
ORIGINAL (4/4) - JUST AS I ALREADY WROTE ABOVE THERE ARE OTHER STORIES WITH VARIATIONS OF YOUR TITLE BUT STILL NOT THE SAME SO IN THAT POINT YOUR TITLE IS ORIGINAL.
STORY'S FOREWORD/DESCRIPTION (10/10)
STORY'S SUMMARY (5/5) - YOUR SUMMARY OF THE PLOT IS REALLY INTERESTING AND MADE ME CURIOUS ABOUT THE ACTUAL STORY. IT ALSO DOESN'T REVEAL TOO MUCH OF THE STORY ALREADY. THE ONLY THING I HAVE TO POINT OUT THAT AS GOOD AS I THINK YOUR DESCRIPTION OF THE PLOT IS, IT DOES SOUND LIKE THE TYPICAL PLOT OF A PERSON COMES INTO YOUR LIFE AND EVERYTHING CHANGES PLOT.
APPEARANCE (5/5) - IT IS REALLY GOOD STRUCTURED AND PRETTY NEAT, GOOD TO READ.
CHARACTERS/CASTS (10/10)
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT (5/5) - SO FAR THERE IS NOT MUCH TO SEE HERE ABOUT ANY CHANGES BUT STILL IT FEELS LIKE THERE ALREADY SOME SMALL ONES IN THE BEHAVIOR TOWARDS EACH OTHER.
CHARACTER'S RELATIONS (5/5) - THE INTERACTIONS AND RELATIONS BETWEEN YOUR CHARACTERS ARE GOOD SO FAR AND I REALLY LIKE HOW THEY ARE PRETTY DIFFERENT FROM EACH OTHER BUT STILL START TO BE FRIENDS.
I WILL WRITE A BIT ABOUT THE THREE MAIN CHARACTERS:
KYUNGSOO IS REALLY A CREATURE OF HABIT AND HATES IT WHEN SOMETHING COMES IN BETWEEN HIM AND HIS PLANS. HE CAN BEHAVE LIKE A LITTLE DEVIL IN FRONT OF FELLOW STUDENTS BUT IS AN ANGEL IN FRONT OF HIS TEACHER. HE DOES EVERYTHING FOR HIS FUTURE AND HATES IT WHEN THERE IS SOMETHING THAT WANTS TO COME AND HURT HIM AND HIS PERFECT FUTURE. BESIDES THE FACT THAT HE IS PRETTY COLD AND MEAN, A CHARACTER THAT I PERSONALLY DON'T LIKE SO FAR IT ALSO SEEM LIKE THERE IS A REASON FOR HIS EFFORT. HE IS LIKE THESE PEOPLE THAT WANT LOVE AND RECOGNITION FROM THEIR PARENTS SO THEY WORK HARD TO GET IT BUT STILL WON'T GET IT.
SEOYEON IS AN INTERESTING AND FUNNY CHARACTER THAT LOVES ART. AT FIRST I WAS A BIT UNSURE WHETHER SHE HAS A CRUSH ON JONGIN OR NOT BUT IT SEEMS TO BE THE CASE. SHE IS A GOOD FRIEND THAT HELPS YOU IN DIFFICULT SITUATIONS AND IT DOESN'T MATTER FOR HER HOW LONG THESE PERSON IS HER FRIEND. ALSO SHE DOESN'T WANT OTHERS TO BE PUNISHED BECAUSE OF HER MISTAKES.
FOR JONGIN HE TRIES TO HELP SEOYEON EVEN WHEN THEY ARE NOT CLOSE AND HAD AN INTERESTING FIRST MEETING. HE WANTS TO PROTECT HER SO MAYBE HE IS FEELING SOMETHING FOR HER. HE IS SPORTIVE AND CRUSH OF MANY GIRLS INCLUDING SEOYEON. HE IS A GENTLEMAN AND DOESN'T SEEM TO CARE MUCH ABOUT HIS POPULARITY.
I WILL WRITE A BIT ABOUT THE THREE MAIN CHARACTERS:
KYUNGSOO IS REALLY A CREATURE OF HABIT AND HATES IT WHEN SOMETHING COMES IN BETWEEN HIM AND HIS PLANS. HE CAN BEHAVE LIKE A LITTLE DEVIL IN FRONT OF FELLOW STUDENTS BUT IS AN ANGEL IN FRONT OF HIS TEACHER. HE DOES EVERYTHING FOR HIS FUTURE AND HATES IT WHEN THERE IS SOMETHING THAT WANTS TO COME AND HURT HIM AND HIS PERFECT FUTURE. BESIDES THE FACT THAT HE IS PRETTY COLD AND MEAN, A CHARACTER THAT I PERSONALLY DON'T LIKE SO FAR IT ALSO SEEM LIKE THERE IS A REASON FOR HIS EFFORT. HE IS LIKE THESE PEOPLE THAT WANT LOVE AND RECOGNITION FROM THEIR PARENTS SO THEY WORK HARD TO GET IT BUT STILL WON'T GET IT.
SEOYEON IS AN INTERESTING AND FUNNY CHARACTER THAT LOVES ART. AT FIRST I WAS A BIT UNSURE WHETHER SHE HAS A CRUSH ON JONGIN OR NOT BUT IT SEEMS TO BE THE CASE. SHE IS A GOOD FRIEND THAT HELPS YOU IN DIFFICULT SITUATIONS AND IT DOESN'T MATTER FOR HER HOW LONG THESE PERSON IS HER FRIEND. ALSO SHE DOESN'T WANT OTHERS TO BE PUNISHED BECAUSE OF HER MISTAKES.
FOR JONGIN HE TRIES TO HELP SEOYEON EVEN WHEN THEY ARE NOT CLOSE AND HAD AN INTERESTING FIRST MEETING. HE WANTS TO PROTECT HER SO MAYBE HE IS FEELING SOMETHING FOR HER. HE IS SPORTIVE AND CRUSH OF MANY GIRLS INCLUDING SEOYEON. HE IS A GENTLEMAN AND DOESN'T SEEM TO CARE MUCH ABOUT HIS POPULARITY.
THE AUTHOR'S MINDSET (39/40)
LOGICALLY (9/10) - SO FAR YOUR PLOT MAKES SENSE AND THERE ARE NO CONFUSING PARTS IN IT. THE ONLY TIME I WAS ACTUALLY HAVING A QUESTION WAS AT THE BEGINNING BECAUSE I THOUGHT THAT WHEN THERE IS A RESTROOM FOR GUYS THERE IS ALWAYS A ONE FOR WOMAN TOO.
ORIGINALITY (10/10) - IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE AN ORIGINAL PLOT AT FIRST BY READING YOUR DESCRIPTION BUT NOW AFTER READING I DON'T THINK THAT IT IS UNORIGINAL AT ALL.
TONE (5/5) - THE TONE OF YOUR STORY FITS OVER ALL GOOD THE SITUATIONS AND THE CHARACTERS.
NARRATION (5/5) - THERE IS NO CONFUSION IN YOUR POVS. YOU DON'T CHANGE IT TOO OFTEN AND WHEN YOU WRITE IN ONE YOU STICK TO IT.
STORYLINE (10/10) - YOUR BEGINNING IS REALLY INTERESTING BECAUSE WE GET TO KNOW KYUNGSOO RIGHT AWAY. IT IS LIKE A SHORT INTRODUCTION OF HIS CHARACTER. IT MAKES YOUR STORY SOUND MORE SERIOUS BUT THEN IT ACTUALLY HAS ALSO MORE LIGHTER PARTS LIKE WHEN HE MEETS SEOYEON FOR THE FIRST TIME WHICH I KNOW IS NOT REALLY FUNNY FOR HIM BUT IT IS JUST SO MANY BAD LUCK AT ONE TIME THAT YOU CAN'T HELP BUT TO LAUGH. AND JUST LIKE THE FIRST MEETING OF SEOYEON AND KYUNGSOO IS UNIQUE THE SAME GOES WITH WHEN SEOYEON MEETS JONGIN FOR THE FIRST TIME. IT IS A STORY THEY CAN LATER TELL THEIR CHILDREN.
THEN WE GET TO KNOW MORE ABOUT KYUNGSOOS DIFFICULT FAMILY BACKGROUND AND CAN UNDERSTAND WHY HE IS MORE COLD AND REALLY FOCUSED ON HIS FUTURE.
YOUR DESCRIPTIONS IN THE STORY ARE REALLY GOOD AND HELP TO PICTURE EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN YOUR STORY.
WE CAN SEE HOW JONGIN WANTS TO HELP SEOYEON IN FRONT OF KYUNGSOO AND HOW HE ACTUALLY WANTS TO GET TO KNOW HER BETTER DESPITE HOW THEY FIRST MET.
KYUNGSOO IS REALLY THE "BAD" GUY IN THIS STORY SO FAR BECAUSE IT IS REALLY HARD TO LIKE HIM BECAUSE OF HIS ATTITUDE TOWARDS OTHER PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY SEOYEON AND JONGIN.
THEN WE GET TO KNOW MORE ABOUT KYUNGSOOS DIFFICULT FAMILY BACKGROUND AND CAN UNDERSTAND WHY HE IS MORE COLD AND REALLY FOCUSED ON HIS FUTURE.
YOUR DESCRIPTIONS IN THE STORY ARE REALLY GOOD AND HELP TO PICTURE EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN YOUR STORY.
WE CAN SEE HOW JONGIN WANTS TO HELP SEOYEON IN FRONT OF KYUNGSOO AND HOW HE ACTUALLY WANTS TO GET TO KNOW HER BETTER DESPITE HOW THEY FIRST MET.
KYUNGSOO IS REALLY THE "BAD" GUY IN THIS STORY SO FAR BECAUSE IT IS REALLY HARD TO LIKE HIM BECAUSE OF HIS ATTITUDE TOWARDS OTHER PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY SEOYEON AND JONGIN.
SO FAR THE PLOT IS INTERESTING AND WELL WRITTEN. THE FLOW IS GOOD TOO BECAUSE YOU DON'T REALLY RUSH THINGS AND IT HELPS THAT YOUR DESCRIPTIONS ARE SO GOOD.
PROPER USE OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (25/25)
PROPER GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION (10/10) - I DIDN'T FIND ANY MAJOR MISTAKES THAT COULD HAVE BEEN DISTURB YOU WHILE READING THE STORY.
TERMINOLOGY (5/5) - YOUR VOCABULARY IS ALSO GOOD, NO OVERUSE OF THE SAME WORDS OR PHRASES.
LANGUAGE BARRIER (10/10) - ALSO NO OVERUSE OF THE KOREAN LANGUAGE THAT WOULD HAVE MAKE ME QUESTION WHAT LANGUAGE YOUR STORY IS WRITTEN IN.
REVIEWER'S ENJOYMENT (4/5)
SO FAR I ENJOYED READING YOUR STORY BECAUSE AS I MENTIONED ABOVE I LIKE YOUR DESCRIPTIONS AND THE PLOT THOUGHT AT SOME POINTS IT WAS A BIT HARDER TO LIKE IT BECAUSE IN THESE SITUATIONS I DON'T LIKE KYUNGSOO AT ALL.
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