For Better Or For Worse

Reviewer: dhaatk
Review for: sakuraciel

Requested on: 02/12/2015
Finished On: 02/22/2015

(I'm terribly sorry for taking so long)

NOTE: One-Shot (Spoiler Alert)

(9/10) Title: When searching stories with such title on AFF, there are a lot of results, so the title you chose is not the most original out here. However, I'm giving a lot of points for the title, because I find it very accurate. The main event (husband cheating on his wife) was an inevitable thing that happened in their lives and it doesn't matter if the outcome was bad or good. Plus, the phrase is commonly used in weddings, so it just adds up to the accuracy.

(6/10) Character: To put it simply, characters were poorly written. Han Mira, the protagonist of this story, was hard to understand. It is good that her character development was present (she finally got the courage to fill in papers for divorce), but for most part her personality was missing. Her reason for sticking with Kim Jongin for so many years is understandable – she just loved him too much. But speaking of Jongin, his actions were impossible to comprehend. There must have been some fatal event in their marriage life that lead him to cheating on his wife, something had to make the love go away. Is Mira not being able to please her husband enough of a reason for the guy to do such thing? There must be more of the story, that you have not discussed, but that concerns plot. Even though you had only two main characters, they both were weak.

(10/10) Originality: I'm not even sure why, but I just find this story original. There are more love stories than it should be, but maybe not that many about unhappy love, especially about marriages that ended.

(37/40) Storyline/Plot: The story was rather short, so not that much happened. However, there were a few flaws. First of all, I found it bad how narration switched. What I mean by this, was that you jumped between point of views. You start the story with second-person narrative, then you flip to third-person. That continues throughout the story and is very disturbing. Another thing I didn't like, was when Mira drank alcohol. You didn't mention what kind of liquor she was consuming, which didn't help the situation. It is said the woman drank five bottles. Now, if it was beer, it's possible for her just become very drunk, but if what she drank was vodka or other strong drink, it's impossible for her to finish two bottles without passing out and needing a doctor.
What I liked the most in this story, was connection between the beginning and the end. Starting the story with wedding vows and mentioning them in the end was a wise choice. After finishing the story, reader sees the connection and everything fits into its rightful places.

(22/25) Grammar/Errors: The grammar skills of yours are not bad. There were some minor grammar mistakes, especially what concerns tenses and also some wrongly used words. I haven't drew any of the mistakes, because simple proofreading would make it better.

(2/5) Overall Enjoyment: All in all, the story was not bad, but I personally did not find it very amusing or appealing.

(86/100) Points Total

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