Title: (7/10)
LOGICAL (1/3) The chosen title does not fully connect with the story. The word “stars” is relevant, but the meaning of “same new” is impossible to perceive. Perhaps the logic will appear by the end of the story, but right now it is impossible to link these two factors.
EYE-CATCHING (2/3) This word play does not appear as extraordinary, so for sure not every new reader will be interested as soon as they set their eyes on the title. It is not completely bad, though. Therefore, it cannot be said that the title was picked inadequately.
original (4/4) Even if a bit clumsy, the title does stand out as original. This is most probably the first story under such name on this or any other website.
story's foreword/description (9/10)
story's summary (4/5) The text in the description is nicely written. It not only introduces the new reader to main characters, links the title with the story by mentioning the stars, but it also draws attention to what kind of story it will be: probably sad, but with a humorous tone. However, foreword is a bit misused. It is too long, plus it should foreshadow the narration, so it could be a paragraph from the story. The font used in the foreword is a bit annoying, too.
appearance (5/5) The background was chosen really well. It sets a bit gloomy and depressing mood. It also connects to the story as it is about stars and constellations. The poster is also very nice, so kudos to the graphic designer. It portrays two main characters and fits the story perfectly with its dark colours.
character development (5/5)
First of all, it is a commendable thing that the author used the real birth names of the group members instead of their more known idol names. It would be really hard to imagine Taehyung being called “V” or Yoongi – “Suga” in this story. Moving on to talking about each character, it should also be mentioned that the number of characters so far is perfect. Right now, five guys more or less dominate the narration and any addition would be unwanted. Then, each character should be discussed.
The main character and the protagonist is Jung Jungkook, a not-so-hard-working student, who sometimes can appear witty in the class, but generally is not very fond of studying. His character is a bit confusing at the beginning, since he seems rather cocky and typical rich kid, but as his heart and mind waver, this image crumbles a bit, so some readers might wonder if the guy will change.
His brother, Jung Yoongi, is put into a role, which is rarely met in stories with this young man. Here, he is a heartbreaker and popular guy, followed around by many girls. Also, he is a possible antagonist, but he has not appeared in the story much or done any huge damage, so this has not been developed yet.
Moving on to the protagonist’s best friend Jimin, he seems like the total opposite of Jungkook. Not just because he is (probably) not as rich as the other, but the student also is more bubbly, out-spoken and maybe not as mean. Or perhaps he is rude as well, but that character trait disappears only when he is around his crush Seokjin.
Speaking of which, this person has not made a significant impact on the story yet, so there is not much to be said about him as of this moment.
Last but not least is Taehyung. On a contrary to Yoongi, his role is rather recurring when looking at stories with him in general. He is the shy, non-talkative character, who might even look like an outcast. There is a certain mystery cast on him like a spell, when Jungkook spots some bruises on his body and that is great in a sense of maintaining the reader’s attention.
characters relations (5/5) ? So far, the relationship between Jungkook and Jimin has been developed the most. Their friendship seems real and all the cursing seems overdone at first, but further into the story, the reader understands that it is just how these two “frenemies” communicate and giving it a better thought, obviously some people in real life have such friends with whom they cuss at each other and say dumb things to one another, but that is just how their friendship works. Scenes with these two guys interacting might bring smile to many readers and that is awesome. However, relationship that Jungkook has with his older brother Yoongi does seem overdone. Most siblings pick on each other and say rude things, but that is not what it is about in the end of the day. As for the love relationships between Jungkook and Taehyung as well as Jimin and Seokjin, they both are steadily developing and it is interesting for readers to see where it will take the characters, so the anticipation must be high.
the author's mindset (34/40)
LOGICAL (8/10) Most of events and their sequences make sense, but there are a couple of details that are a bit off. For example, the possibility of Jimin and Jungkook having to clean girl's room as detention is a bit silly and not very believable.
ORIGINAL (8/10)It should be kind of obvious that this storyline is not the most original one. Of course, characters getting closer due to a group project where they must watch and explore stars is original, but the idea of them getting to know each other because of a school assignment itself is rather trite and could be replaced by something more intriguing.
TONE (5/5) The used tone is same in all three chapters that have been posted so far and it is amazing how it remains steady. The story is told in a serious, but also humorous manner and does not cram the reader’s head, even though the topic is not so funny.
NARRATION (4/5) The story is told from the third person’s point of view, therefore it is omniscient and tells the real facts. What considers flow, it is a bit bumpy, but it is more due to grammar (which is discussed later) rather than actual concrete events.
STORYLINE (9/10) All in all, storyline is good, but not perfect. Some factors like originality or logic are not fulfilled at the times, but these mistakes are minor and can be easily made better.
proper use of the english language (20/25)
grammar and punctuation (7/10)
The grammar skills are not the worst, but they are lacking and disturb the flow. Mostly Past and Present tenses are mixed, which is a very common mistake for people who’s first language is not English. Generally speaking, the grammar mistakes are kind of minor, though when looking at them as the whole, the number is quite big. Getting a beta-reader is highly suggested.
vocabulary (4/5)
Not as bizarrely as with grammar, some words are misused, but this is easily fixable. Yet, there is one critical point in usage of vocabulary, which creates a huge misunderstanding and that is about the education institution that the characters attend. Is it a high school or a university? Sure, sometimes higher education institutions are still called schools, but in this particular story it is still confusing. Several times, it is mentioned that the boys are going to high school, but then not teachers, but professors (more common for university or college) educate them. The age of the characters is not mentioned, so it makes the reader confused about this matter.
language barrier (9/10) Such Korean words as “hyung” and “kingka” were used a couple of times. It is advisable to replace them since in this story it can be done easily. Yoongi is already referred to as “the older brother/guy”, so omitting “hyung” completely when speaking about him is not hard. As for the expression “kingka,” it can also be quickly changed by such English phrase like “the school's pretty boy” or something similar
Reviewer's enjoyment (4/5)
Overall, I personally quite liked this story. I tried to be as critical as possible and I think even if I read this story not as a reviewer, I would stumble on some mistakes and would not enjoy it fully. Anyways, I think I will keep reading and I also wish you all the luck with further writing!
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