Psychosis

Reviewer: dhaatk
Review for: Hyeonhee

Requested on: 07/09/2015
Finished On: 07/18/2015

NOTE: 11 Chapters (Spoiler Alert)

(8/10) Title: The chosen title is not the most original one. There are a lot of other stories under the same or very similar title. Also, it is hard to perceive its accuracy. Psychosis is basically having a distorted view of the world and losing the touch with reality. Since the story is not finished yet, it is tough to see if protagonist is the one experiencing psychosis or what is the deal.

(10/10) Character: The number of character as of the eleventh chapter is alright, but it is advisable not to bring in any new characters, unless they are truly needed for the plot twist or whatever. The main character Luhan seems totally clueless about the situation he got himself into as soon as he stepped into new work place, but his curiosity and sense of justice are things that keep him going. At times, some readers might even find these character traits of Luhan annoying, but in the end, they are essential in this story, because of Luhan was not so inquisitive, the plot would literally not go anywhere. What concerns other characters, some of them gain attention of the reader. It would be hard to say which character is more entertaining, Sehun or Chanyeol. The first one's coldness and sharp mind is really attractive, but it is impossible to fully understand his way of behaving, because there is nothing given out about his past life or current thoughts. Chanyeol, on the other hand, is like the opposite of Sehun. He talks a lot and his trail of thoughts is hard to be followed from time to time. Yet, the mad doctor is charming and it is a hard task for readers to figure out if Chanyeol is just laid-back and fascinated by anatomy or if he is seriously crazy.

(10/10) Originality: Stories about lunatic asylums are getting more and more popular, but this one has some distinguishing features. The mystery covering this mental institution about patients being simply sent to rot in the ground is highly enjoyable and intriguing.

(35/40) Storyline/Plot: The storyline is relatively good, but far far from perfect. At first glance everything looks just fine and logic, because there is a reason provided for every event or action that a character does, but giving it a better thought, after reading all current chapters, a lot of readers might just think “what?” Even though there is a succession between all events, there are some gaps. For instance, a war is mentioned a couple of times, but it is hard to follow which war is mentioned. Since the main characters and doctors are Korean, most readers think about Korean War, but then there are Russian and German soldiers mentioned, so the readers are confused and still not sure if it is about World War II. Some clarification is very needed in this story.

(20/25) Grammar/Errors: The flow is so-so, but the chosen point of view is good, because the reader knows as much as the protagonist does and they can go into the journey together with the main character, which creates the intrigue and suspicion. Anyhow, there was quite a number of grammar mistakes, it would be highly recommended to find a proofreader, who could help out on this matter. The most common mistakes are mixed tenses and misuse of prepositions. For example, in sentence “I'm perfectly fine by my own” it should be “on my own”

(3/5) Overall Enjoyment: After all, I personally did not enjoy this story to the fullest. It was interesting at some places but by the time I reached maybe fifth chapter, I got bored and had difficult time finishing the remaining chapters. For me, the biggest flaw was either plot or grammar, I cannot even say for sure. Hope you will work on these things and I wish you all the best with continuing this story!

(86/100) Points Total

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