NOTE: One Shot (Spoiler Alert)

(10/10) Title: Excellent. I believe it fit very well with the one-shot, it's unique, rare, different, and juicy. 

(10/10) Character: Because it's a super short one-shot there were not much character development, however I loved the description of Xiumin being I call "cute" around Tao just to learn that Tao didn't appreciate that factor. 

(10/10) Originality: I've never read any story similar to this. I thought it was really original, new, and fresh. 

(39/40) Storyline/Plot: At first I thought it was going to be a horror story due to its title, but then I learned that Tao passed away (which I personally liked, it was a great twist to the end to keep the title and storyline connected) so it added spice to the story. The story was short and enjoyable. I just wished I knew more about their backgrounds and how they came to know and like each other. 

(24/25) Grammar/Errors: Besides some minor errors I've caught, the overusage of commas was the only problem I had. Commas, comma splice, those make and keep sentences choppy. Yes, commas do make it a more dramatic read (heck you had 'drama' as a tag) but too much commas isn't necessary. 

Original: ...while the other turned his profile to the camera and, being dressed up as vampire, pretended to be aiming towards his friend's neck.

Suggestion: ...while the other turned his profile to the camera; being dressed up as vampire he pretended to be aiming towards his friend's neck. (Either place the comma before 'and' or remove it completely.)

Original: The boy blamed himself for being such a fool and falling for his dear friend that he could never share those heady feelings with.

Suggestion: The boy blamed himself for being such a fool and falling for his dear friend, one he could never share those heady feelings with. (This was a run-on sentence. It's difficult trying to read this in one go, you really have to take a deep breath before doing so.) 

(5/5) Overall Enjoyment: The story was well written, it deserved my one upvote. I enjoyed the story a lot, it was again a enjoyable, interesting, and awesome read. 

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