Mutt and the Ghost - dhaatk

BLK's Review Shop ACHIEVE
Mutt and the Ghost
Review
Pickup
ZXYvcz3.png 292 195

NOTE: One Shot (Spoiler Alert)

(10/10) Title: Excellent. I believe it fit very well with the one-shot, it's unique, rare, different, and juicy. 

(10/10) Character: Because it's a super short one-shot there were not much character development, however I loved the description of Xiumin being I call "cute" around Tao just to learn that Tao didn't appreciate that factor. 

(10/10) Originality: I've never read any story similar to this. I thought it was really original, new, and fresh. 

(39/40) Storyline/Plot: At first I thought it was going to be a horror story due to its title, but then I learned that Tao passed away (which I personally liked, it was a great twist to the end to keep the title and storyline connected) so it added spice to the story. The story was short and enjoyable. I just wished I knew more about their backgrounds and how they came to know and like each other. 

(24/25) Grammar/Errors: Besides some minor errors I've caught, the overusage of commas was the only problem I had. Commas, comma splice, those make and keep sentences choppy. Yes, commas do make it a more dramatic read (heck you had 'drama' as a tag) but too much commas isn't necessary. 

Original: ...while the other turned his profile to the camera and, being dressed up as vampire, pretended to be aiming towards his friend's neck.

Suggestion: ...while the other turned his profile to the camera; being dressed up as vampire he pretended to be aiming towards his friend's neck. (Either place the comma before 'and' or remove it completely.)

Original: The boy blamed himself for being such a fool and falling for his dear friend that he could never share those heady feelings with.

Suggestion: The boy blamed himself for being such a fool and falling for his dear friend, one he could never share those heady feelings with. (This was a run-on sentence. It's difficult trying to read this in one go, you really have to take a deep breath before doing so.

(5/5) Overall Enjoyment: The story was well written, it deserved my one upvote. I enjoyed the story a lot, it was again a enjoyable, interesting, and awesome read. 

(98/100) Points Total Congratulation! Your story will be featured~

Bonus: Your questions and focuses for us:

Everything: Up above~ :D

Feel free to message me if you have any further questions.

Thank you for choosing BLK Reviews and for your patience! Hope to hear from you again!

Please don't forget to credit our shop's logo/banner in your Foreword.

Reviewer: KaihleeLo
Review for:  dhaatk

Requested on: 11/22/2014
Finished On: 11/22/2014
Cover by:

Story link
Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
WooGyu_KyuSung_YooSu
#1
One more thing. I know the Description and the forward are super long. But I planned this story to be like a Novella/Soap Opera.
It may seem like I'm giving away to much in the Description and The Forward, but as you realize you might notice that I haven't.
There are three main parts to this story:
The Past-Childhood
The Past- Orphans/Teens
The Present- The main setting, in which the forward revealed nothing.

I'm an interactive author, meaning I ask questions at the end and leave hints here and there for the readers to try there best at guessing. (They become more invested in my story this way, lol)
WooGyu_KyuSung_YooSu
#2
-Username : WooGyu_KyuSung_YooSu
-Profile link : http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/49463

- Story title : Love Me Right
- Story link : http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/976222/love-me-right-mpreg-hunhan-taoris-kaisoo-sulay-chanbaek-chenmin

-Genre : OT12, Angst, Mpreg, Fluff, Comedy, Growth, Friendship, Life, and "LEARNING TO LOVE"

- On-going | To be a long fic.

- Reviewer : KaihleeLo

- So The title of the fic is "Love Me Right", but it has nothing to do with the EXO song; even though some would just assume. The reason why I titled it 'Love Me Right' is because 6 of the main characters suffered in their childhood and eventually were orphaned. They don't know how to let themselves love. In particular, Luhan. As for the other 6 'Love' and 'Lust' are two different things.

- So before you read, I would like to point out, that the pacing of the story and the built up is exactly how I planned. I don't want to rush Romance because you don't 'fall in love' over night, and the characters need to mature. Also, there is a pattern to my chapters "The Past" chapters are essentially flashbacks. "The Present" is taking place now. For every 5 "The Present" chapters, it will be followed by 2 "The Past" chapters; Childhood/Teen years.

- I have a reader who offered to proofread my chapters since I had some typos, and I don't have the time to go back and fix them. "I always update between 12 am - 5 am, so that is the main reason". She is still editing the earlier chapters so please realize I am fixing the errors.


Oh gosh this was a lot. I'm sorry. I'm just really nervous, and I wanted to explain the above before you review.
-Tigress-
#3
Chapter 127: Hey can I have someone send me my review here so I can save it?
This archive is non-selectable so I can't save it myself.