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Author: -Tigress-
Reviewed By: KaihleeLo

Requested Date: 12/28/15

Review Completion: 12/30/15
Story Link: Link
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Bonus: (Your questions and focuses for us here) 

-If the story makes sense, if the characters make sense, and if anything feels drastically out of place.

- The story makes sense. It's fantasy-based but the reality checks are there. The characters do differ from one another and make sense. Nothing major feel out of place, and as this is 19/32 chapters I'm sure anything confusing would be explained or touched upon much later on.  

Title: 10/10

Logical: 3/3

The title had everything to do with the storyline. At first it could be read and understood as the sealing of light, which is almost impossible if we're speaking of forever. But as the story played out, we see that Seal(s) are people, so it could imply the 'People of light'. 
Eye-catching: 3/3
It did intridged me and I was curious of the sealing of light. Sealing light is just somewhat impossible, as one can't seal it forever. Then as mentioned, it's possibly the four Seals of light. 
Original: 4/4
I thought the title was quite refreshing and it really fitted well for a fantasy story one may find in the fantasy section at a library. 

Description/Foreword: 10/10

Summary: 5/5

The summary fitted so well and touched upon the important factors of the storyline. As the author you basically summarized the whole 19 chapters so far without revealing too much or gave away any thing. It was kept short and direct, and personally it wasn't hooking but that was up to you as the writer. 
Appearance: 5/5
It's very clean and organize, plus it directed readers right into the story with one or two scrolls. 

Character Development/Showcasing: 10/10

Development: 5/5

As this story is fantasy, I was sure that there will be multiple characters, but I've decided to focus on the four main characters developent. That way it may show you what I got from reading about their personality and such.

Mingyu: He's a cautious player as he's always taking in his surrounding and assuring himself that he'd be ready if anyone strike him first, but at the same time he fear the little things like someone pulling a knife on him and such. We also learn Mingyu is a former thief during his younger days before becoming a mercenary.  Basically he went from stealing to working for his own paid. Compare to the other three he's a lot more easy going as he has went through a lot for a young human. As a mercenary with honor, we saw how it troubled him to leave behind any comrades and how he worried about the safety of those who are not around. I think Mingyu's role in the story would be to keep the friendship between the four Seals intact and together. 

Wonwoo: We learn that Wonwoo is light on his feet and he has really no intention to truly understand the condition of the world. He does what he's told and try to be helpful despite him being the most inexperienced on their journey. But we could see how Wonwoo important Wonwoo's role is as he was given a few tasks. In the beginning we see how jumpy Wonwoo was, but as time went by his body just moved for the sake of companions. But before then everything was about him, everything had to benefit him or else it meant very little to him. Like stealing from the people in the tavern. But as readers we could tell that Wonwoo wasn't a bad person, he only stole, he didn't hurt or try to hurt against his will. Even when he killed one of the groom in the prison, he had the choice to knock the guy out cold but because he was only worrying about his friends he did something he probably would have never done before he joined on the trip. 

Seungcheol: I believe Seungcheol was the most developed character as a lot of his background also came into light. He wasn't just a guard of the High Mage Dongwan, but he was also a heir of the West Reaches and a Seal. For Seungcheol who never thought to learn about the prophecies as it didn't affect him, ended up becoming more curious than ever. Due to his curiousity he was abled to convince Hyesung that he was trustworthy and loyal. And indeed Seungcheol was loyal, he followed Hyesung's orders even when he thought the Mage just wanted to get rid of him. His loyalty was shown through many occasions such as him delivering Hyesung's letter until the end, how he didn't fight the people who arrested him, how he went to Youngsaeng's home just to stay and not leave for home with his brother. This showed where Seungcheol's loyalty lies, it was with the Mages and people of Redien and not his own. 

Jeonghan: Jeonghan role alone make him very important. He's an immortal among the company of humans, and he's rarely bothered by it. In the beginning Jeonghan appeared to have a temper as he broke objects often, but he's quite soft spoken. I'd say he's a bit witty and aggressive, yet at the same time playful. Correct me if I'm wrong, near the few last chapters Jeonghan said he's 97 years of age, but I thought I read from somewhere that he was half a century old, so wouldn't he be about 50? Maybe it was written more than half a century old but I don't remember exactly >.< Either way as an immortal who have lived long enough to see how the world had changed over the course was very eager to save the end of the world. 

 
Relation/Cast: 5/5

I didnt know where to put this but I noticed there were a lot of shrugging going on. Maybe use a different way to express the younger characters even if they were awkward with one another? I find that when it's in a particular character's POV, they don't shrug but their companions do. However, when the focus is on the companion than the previous character may and will shrug. 

Anyway, I loved the relationship between each character. I'm glad we could see how they slowly came together naturally, without feeling like any of it was rushed. The development of all relationship was so realistic and with your writing style we could see how they grew closer, whether through bonding on a trip, looking after one another, their personalities, or the animals that they traveled with. I thought it was also interesting as to how well they complete one another's thoughts and the likes of it. For example when Seungcheol was too troubled by the death of Dongwan, he completely disregard the empty atmosphere of the 'death' of a high mage. Meanwhile Jeonghan did that for us, he observed and questioned the strangeness of it. This made the characters so real. 

I wouldn't have thought of any better casts for this story than Seventeen, Shinhwan, SuJu's Siwon, and SS501 members. I thought they fitted so well and their appearances just enhances the events in the scene. You did well using the idols to bring out vivid images of your story characters. 

Behind the Author's Mind: 39.5/40

Logical: 10/10

As the story's genre is fantasy, I thought you did extremely well putting your readers into the scene of the story. Even the surroundings was discussed thoroughly. 
Original: 10/10
Mage, guards, immortals, humans, and such going on a journey to another city isn't exactly a new idea. But you were able to twist the story into making it your own. 
Tone: 5/5
The tone of the story was slow paced and calming. As the story takes us through each character's perspective, there's very little of what to expect next. The tone of the characters travelling and them fighting are very different and does bring out the tense action scenes.  

Narration: 4.5/5

The narration was direct and detailed in third person, thought it switches from character's pespective, not much was left out in your style of narration. We were able to see the expression of both or all parties, take in the depth of their actions and learn of their thoughts and mood in the moment. At times it sounded like you were telling us how the characters are feeling rather then just painting the image for us and allowing us to do the thinking. By that I meant l the usage such as 'though', it sounds like you as the author is trying to tell us the story rather than letting her see through the eyes of the characters. Not sure if I'm making sense. It's similar to when a person tells a story and say they use words such as 'like' and 'pretty much' to describe the scene. It no longer feels like a story from the character's perpective but also the author's personal thoughts, insights, and explanation. 
Storyline: 10/10
At first the story may seem draggy as every scene is very detailed, but if the story does go to 32 chapters then it's not as draggy and moves at a decent pace. I'm glad you informed the readers the number or estimation of chapters, otherwise I would have said the story was too draggy as you switch from character's perspective just to re-create the same scene in a different view. With that said, I thought the pace was rather easy to follow and smooth. In some stories every little detail of the characters actions or movement may be unnecessary, but it worked for this story.  

I like where the plot is heading and the mentioned of text from the Prophecies of Light really make us think about its true meaning. The sudden death of Dongwan and the fact that Seungcheol was a heir were very well done plot twists in my experience. As I said the story is unpredictable, we can't really assume anything until it has happened. The story kept us hook as each scene proceeds and develops. 

In the 19 chapters alone we felt a lot of emotions. At first I thought it was strange how Seungcheol isn't balling his eyes out, but then he's probably still in disbelief and until he see the dead body of Dongwan, it would be hard to move him to tears on the spot. The friendship, bonding, loyalty, and trust played out well. At first the character wasn't sure who to trust, they couldn't even trust within their own group. It goes to show how disconnected the people are. 

Proper Use of the English Language: 24/25

Proper Grammar/Punctuation: 9/10

Very few minor errors that could be fixed with proofreading. There were a few areas where the letters were swap in a word, such as could was coudl and pale was plae. I'm sure you wouldn't have made the mistake but I suggest proofreading. These two terms were in around chapter 2-5. Some words were left out thus certain sentences felt incomplete as well. Chapter 7, during Jeonghan's part there were a few errors too. Like 'as' was supposed to be 'a' and 'the' should be 'then'. More errors were spotted in the later chapters, but as said they could be fix with proof reading. 

There were also a lot of fluff in my opinion. As mentioned, terms like "though" could have been left out to make the sentence shorter and concised. I didn't see the need for certain fluff words. 

Termonology: 5/5
In terms of termnologies I thought you did well (of course), you were able to excite us with your knowledge of vocabularies and wowed us by how well done it was written. 

Language Barrier: 10/10
Didn't see any unnecessary foreign expressions so well done~! 

General Enjoyment/Last Comment: 5/5
I was very satisfied and enjoyed every scene of it. I was especially intridged by the meanings behind the Prophecy of Light. It was enjoyable trying to solve the mystery of the text with the characters. Now as much as I love fantasy, I haven't read a lot of said genre, since they do tend to confuse me with their complicated theories, but this story was definitely enjoyable at the slightest. Not sure if this review was at all helpful but I wish you the best in the contest! I'm sure your story would win or at least make it into the top! Fighting on that deadline tomorrow!

Total Points: 98.5/100 (Please let us know on how we're doing by voting on our poll on the front page. Your feedback is much appreciated!)