The Flower That Brings Death

Reviewer: dhaatk
Review for:  Terrachipzx

Requested on: 03/17/2015
Finished On: 03/19/2015

NOTE: 2 Chapters (Spoiler Alert)

(xx/10) Title: I have simply chosen to just not evaluate the title since there has been too little of the story written yet.

(9/10) Character: Although there is only prologue written, it is already possible for the reader to set a picture on what kind of person Taeyeon, the protagonist, is. The girl stands out from the other characters, even though they have not been presented a lot just yet. Also, Baekhyun's personality shines already. Reader is able to form a primary opinion on (probably) the main male character. Sooyoung and Jessica, on the other hand, seem too bland. They do not differ from each other much and it is hard to see the purpose of them appearing in the prologue. Unlike the three members from Super Junior, who show a side of Taeyeon's personality. Her encounter with the men reveal that the protagonist has a strong motherly instinct.

(9/10) Originality: I have seen stories of similar setting before. It is not the first story I see where author tries to combine real events with fiction and personal insight. However, judging from the title I can speculate that the story will take a different course soon and appear to be more original than at the beginning.

(37/40) Storyline/Plot: The flow and pace is alright. It is quite easy to follow the thought and narration, so kudos for that! As I have mentioned before, the protagonist bumping into guys from Super Junior was included purposely. It was smart of you to choose such way in order to reveal Taeyeon's character trait. Also, I liked how she and Baekhyun met not in a cliché way. I mean, they did not bump into each other or the guy did not approach the girl with a cheesy pick-up line at a club. It is actually amusing how Baekhyun just casually teaches Taeyeon to fold a fist correctly, without asking why she is angry. The only thing I did not like was how the plot seems rather uneventful and dull.

(23/25) Grammar/Errors: I had not spotted a lot of grammar mistakes. The bad thing was awkwardness of the sentences in general. It is very hard to explain and I am sorry of not being capable of doing that. At some places I had to stop and think “wait, what?” then reread the sentence or whole paragraph. Basically, your writing style appeared unnatural and somewhat forced to me.

(4/5) Overall Enjoyment: Even though it seems I have criticized what you have written so far a lot, I actually enjoyed the prologue! Keep writing.

(82/90) Points Total

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