11 Lives - FEEBEAR88
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FEEBEAR88
REQUEST ON: 11/14/15
REVIEWER: BLACKROSESTEARS
FINISHED ON: 11/24/15
SCORE: 97/100
TITLE: (10/10)
LOGICAL (3/3) - YOUR TITLE REALLY FITS THE PLOT OF THE STORY REALLY GOOD.
EYE-CATCHING (3/3) - IT IS A REALLY INTERESTING TITLE THAT CAUGHT MY INTEREST JUST BY READING IT BECAUSE I DIDN'T REALLY KNOW WHAT THE STORY COULD BE ABOUT.
ORIGINAL (4/4) - IT IS ORIGINAL, THERE ARE NO OTHER STORIES WITH THE SAME OR A SIMILAR TITLE.
STORY'S FOREWORD/DESCRIPTION (10/10)
STORY'S SUMMARY (5/5) - YOUR FOREWORD DOESN'T REVEAL TOO MUCH OF THE ACTUAL STORY AND IT IS GOOD WRITTEN. IT MADE ME CURIOUS ABOUT THE STORY BECAUSE IT SOUNDED LIKE A REALLY INTERESTING PLOT THAT IT THIS WAY WAS NOT USED THAT OFTEN SO FAR.
APPEARANCE (5/5) - EVERYTHING IS LOOKING GOOD HERE. THERE IS A STRUCTURE AND IT IS NEAT INSTEAD OF MESSY.
CHARACTERS/CASTS (9/10)
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT (4/5) - WELL, IT IS HARD TO WRITE SOMETHING HERE. FIRST OF ALL WHILE READING I HAD THE FEELING THAT JONGIN IS A PERSON THAT CAN EASILY MAKE FRIENDS. HE IS CARING AND HAS A GOOD HEART. HE HATES WARS BECAUSE HE HAD TO FIGHT DURING MANY ALREADY BUT THAT IS ACTUALLY ALL I CAN WRITE ABOUT HIM.
IT WOULD BE NICE TO GET TO KNOW HIM A BIT BETTER. TO KNOW MORE ABOUT HIS FAMILY AND WHY HE HAS THIS ABILITY, CURSE THAT HE WILL LIVE ANOTHER LIFE EACH NEW DAY. WE GET TO KNOW HIM VERY LITTLE SO FAR AND THAT MAKES IT HARD TO FEEL A CONNECTION TO HIM SO I WOULD SUGGEST TO REVEAL A BIT MORE OF HIM THROUGH EVERY NEW CHAPTER.
CHARACTER'S RELATIONS (5/5) - HERE I HAVE TO SAY THAT FOR ME AS A MORE SHY PERSON IT WAS HARD TO UNDERSTAND HOW HE CAN TALK ABOUT PEOPLE HE JUST MET AS FRIENDS BUT I GUESS THAT IS JUST SOMETHING HE IS ABLE TO DO AFTER LIVING SO MANY LIVES ALREADY.
BESIDES THAT I LIKE THE CONVERSATIONS BETWEEN HIM AND THE OTHERS. IT IS OKAY THE WAY IT IS RIGHT NOW.
THE AUTHOR'S MINDSET (38/40)
LOGICALLY (10/10) - SO FAR EVERYTHING MADE SENSE AND I WAS ABLE TO UNDERSTAND THE PLOT WITHOUT GETTING CONFUSED.
ORIGINALITY (10/10) - I THINK IT IS A REALLY ORIGINAL PLOT, I NEVER READ STORY WITH THIS KIND OF PLOT BEFORE.
TONE (5/5) - SO FAR THE TONE OF YOUR STORY IS PRETTY SAD, THERE ARE MANY DEATHS IN THE STORY SO IT MAKES SENSE WITH THIS TONE. BUT BESIDES THE SAD TONE THERE IS ALSO THE MORE HAPPY ONE IN SCENES LIKE WHEN THEY ARE FIGHTING BUT STOPPED BECAUSE OF CHRISTMAS, YOU CAUGHT THE MOOD IN A MORE PEACEFUL ONE TOGETHER WITH A BIT SOLEMNLY.
NARRATION (5/5) - WE READ THE STORY THROUGH JONGINS EYES THE WHOLE TIME AND YOU KEEP IT LIKE THAT WITHOUT SUDDEN CHANGES THAT COULD CONFUSE WHILE READING.
STORYLINE (8/10) - THE BEGINNING OF YOUR STORY IS REALLY GOOD BECAUSE YOU EXPLAIN FIRST A BIT OF THE PLOT LIKE THE FACT THAT JONGIN WILL LIVE EACH NEW DAY IN ANOTHER LIFE. HERE I HAVE TO SAY TOO THAT IT WAS A NICE INTRODUCTION BUT AFTER READING THE FOLLOWING CHAPTERS I WAS ASKING MYSELF HOW EXACTLY IT IS WHEN HE WAKES UP IN ANOTHER LIFE. DOES HE HAVE THE ACTUAL MEMORIES OF THIS PERSON OR IS HE PLAYING A ROLE TOWARDS THE OTHER PEOPLE? FOR EXAMPLE IS HE PLAYING THE BROTHER OF BAEKHYUN OR ARE THERE ACTUAL MEMORIES HE CAN RECALL? IT WOULD BE NICE IF YOU COULD ANSWER THIS ME OR WRITE IT IN YOUR STORY.
THEN YOUR DESCRIPTIONS OF HOW IT WAS IN THE PAST ARE REALLY GOOD AND EASY TO IMAGINE. YOUR WRITING STYLE IS REALLY GOOD TOO, EASY TO READ AND UNDERSTAND BUT AT THE SAME TIME IT IS INTERESTING AND HOOKED ME UP FOR YOUR STORY. THEN I REALLY LIKE HOW WE NEVER KNOW WHERE JONGIN WILL END UP NEXT, THERE ARE NO HINTS IN THE PREVIOUS CHAPTERS AND I THINK IT MAKES IT REALLY INTERESTING TO READ.
THROUGH THE CHAPTERS WE MEET THE OTHER MEMBERS OF EXO AND THEY HAVE REALLY DIFFERENT LIVES FORM EACH OTHER THAT MAKES IT EVEN MORE INTERESTING TO READ YOUR STORY. THEY ALL HAVE DIFFERENT REASONS WHY THEY DIE IN THE END AND IT BREAKS MY HEART EACH TIME AGAIN AND AGAIN WHEN THEY DIE.
PROPER USE OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (25/25)
PROPER GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION (10/10) - THE GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION WAS REALLY GOOD. I DIDN'T FIND ANY MISTAKES WHILE READING.
TERMONOLOGY (5/5) - YOUR VOCABULARY IS ALSO REALLY GOOD. YOU DIDN'T REPEAT THE SAME PHRASES OR WORDS TOO OFTEN.
LANGUAGE BARRIER (10/10) - THERE WAS NO OVERUSE OF THE KOREAN LANGUAGE.
REVIEWER'S ENJOYMENT (5/5)
OVERALL I REALLY ENJOYED READING YOUR STORY SO FAR BECAUSE I LIKE YOUR WRITING STYLE AND THE FACT THAT YOUR PLOT IS SOMETHING ORIGINAL. SO I AM REALLY CURIOUS ABOUT THE FUTURE CHAPTERS.
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