NOTE: One shot (Spoiler Alert)

(10/10) Title: No complaints here, the title mixed well with the overall storyline. 

(8/10) Character: The "main" characters was Luhan and Sehun while Taehyung is the side character. Don't forget to mention the appearances of each characters and make sure you make value and good use of your side character(s). I didn't like Luhan, he was really straightforward, awkward to be around (my opinion), and really pushy. It's not he has no logic and doesn't think.... If Sehun is cold to him then why does he want to hear the three words? He thought Sehun didn't like him more but if Sehun did say it and still say he doesn't like him, then does that make Luhan feeled any better? 

(8/10) Originality: I love the idea of the teddy bears, where they are symbols of love. I thought that was an amazing touch to the story. But Sehun's death, I wasn't really surprise. A lot of angst story ends like that, where one of them dies. 

(29/40) Storyline/Plot: I feel like the story was too slow. It was the same cycle of Sehun passing him bears and thinking that Sehun hold no feelings for him, he still follow and meet up with Sehun. Does Luhan not have pride? The storyline could have been more developed if there were more 'new' scenes or events that happened instead of the same cycle being repeated. The pace was slow because of that. Although Sehun's death didn't come as a surprise, it was a good twist and I love the twist of the teddy bear, with a recording of Sehun's messages to Luhan inside of them. 

(18/25) Grammar/Errors: I saw a lot of misusages of ellipses, terms, and sentence structure. Just make sure to proofread and use spell checkers or Microsoft soft word/doc that has spell checkers installed already, and work on that.

And try to separate characters' dialogues. Don't crumble all of their talks and communication into one large paragraph, spread them out. 

Some sentences were awkwardly structured, so I went ahead and re-worded them, and I made a few corrections and suggestion on a variety of area. 

Original: They enrolled into the same elementary school, middle school and of course the same high school together. 

Suggestion: They enrolled into the same elementary, middle, and of course high school. (I just thought this was better and less wordy, for example I wouldn't want to say "I ate green apples, red apples, and of course green and red apples", instead I'd rather say "I ate green, red, and green and red apples.")

Original: "Erm.. I love you" I confessed once more.

Suggestion: "Erm....I love you." I confessed once more. (Don't forget, ellipses are three periods/dots so when or if you're going to end a sentence with ellipses and a period, then add another and make it four periods. Don't forget your punctuation after each sentences, if Luhan isn't going to continue his train of thoughts then conclude and end it.)

Original:  I kept on think about what was it that I lacked that could not attract Oh Sehun. 

Suggestion: I keep on thinking about what was it that I lacked, that did not attract Oh Sehun. 

Original: So imagine if they knew my crush on him, I would get bullied and I would get teased for it. Sehun knew I love him, he didn't tease me about it nor did he call me gay or horrible names. Either did he spread my confession to him to the whole school. He prevented those harmful thoughts that I imagined, maybe he do care.

Suggestion: So imagine if they knew that I have a crush on him, I would get bullied and teased for it. Sehun knew I loved him, he didn't tease me about it nor did he called me gay or horrible names. Neither did he spread my confession to him to the whole school. He prevented those harmful thoughts that I imagined, maybe he does care.

Original: Though Luhan avoided Sehun, Sehun would still haunt Luhan down at the end of the day and pass him the toy bear. 

Suggestion: Though Luhan avoided Sehun, Sehun would still hunt Luhan down at the end of the day and pass him the toy bear. 

Original: Sehun would use their remaining vapid friendship as threaten.
"Alright I will meet you there" Is what Luhan would say to Sehun after all threatens.

Suggestion: Sehun would use their remaining vapid friendship as a way to threaten Luhan.
"Alright I will meet you there" Is what Luhan would usually say to Sehun after the threats. (Be careful with threat, threaten, and threatning.)

Original: I felt like dying that day because I kept on delete the birthday wishes I wanted to send to you and retype and delete, I couldn't write in what I wanted so I decided not to even say a happy birthday to you but it has been 588 days since you confessed to me, since we have been loving each other. 

Suggestion:  I felt like dying that day because I keep on deleting the birthday wishes I wanted to send to you, but as I deleted and retyped, I couldn't write in what I wanted to say. So I decided not to say happy birthday to you, but it has been 588 days since you confessed to me, since we have been loving each other. 

Original: "All these time.. and I didn't even notice. He loved me and I didn’t even knew."

Suggestion: "All these time...and I didn't even notice. He loved me and I didn’t even know."

(3/5) Overall Enjoyment:I wanted to enjoyed it more but Luhan's logic really upset me. (Of course that was his personality in the story, I do not dislike or hate you for that.) I wished I could connect more with the story and the characters themselves, but it was difficult to make that connection. Upvoted because I love the idea of the stuff animal. 

(76/100) Points Total

Bonus: Your questions and focuses for us:

Plotting: I believe the plot was the recordings hidden in the bears. And although it's not a fresh idea, it was definitely a good idea for this story. Kudos here. 

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