Tears of Blades - --SpringJelly
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--SPRINGJELLY
REQUEST ON: 7/31/16
REVIEWER: BLACKROSESTEARS
FINISHED ON: 12/30/16
SCORE: 100/100
TITLE: (10/10)
LOGICAL (3/3) - AT FIRST YOU CAN'T HELP BUT WONDER ABOUT THE MEANING BEHIND YOUR TITLE AND IT'S CONNECTION TO THE STORY. BUT ONCE YOU START READING, THERE ARE SEVERAL PARTS IN THE PLOT THAT GIVES YOU HINTS OF THE TITLE OR EVEN MENTION IT DIRECTLY.
EYE-CATCHING (3/3) - IT IS A REALLY INTERESTING TITLE BECAUSE IT DOESN'T REVEAL SOMETHING ABOUT THE PLOT AND HAS A MYSTERIOUS VIBE ABOUT IT. I WAS REALLY CURIOUS ABOUT THE ACTUAL PLOT BECAUSE OF THE TITLE.
ORIGINAL (4/4) - YOUR TITLE IS REALLY ORIGINAL, I DIDN'T FIND ANY OTHER TITLE WITH THE SAME OR A SIMILAR TITLE AT ALL.
STORY'S FOREWORD/DESCRIPTION (10/10)
STORY'S SUMMARY (5/5) - YOUR DESCRIPTION DOESN'T REVEAL TOO MUCH OF THE STORY. IT REVEALS JUST AS MUCH AS NEEDED TO MAKE SOMEONE CURIOUS ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT SOUNDS REALLY SAD, DRAMATIC BUT STILL INTERESTING.
APPEARANCE (5/5) - THE OVERALL APPEARANCE OF YOUR FOREWORD IS GOOD. IT IS NOT MESSY OR CONFUSING.
CHARACTERS/CASTS (10/10)
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT (5/5) - THERE WASN'T REALLY A BIG CHANGE IN YOUR CHARACTERS AS NARA IS SAD, SUICIDAL AND DEPRESSED THROUGH THE WHOLE STORY THOUGH THERE IS A SHORT PERIOD WHERE SHE AT LEAST SEEMS TO TRY TO GET BETTER, TO STOP HURTING HERSELF BECAUSE SEHUN ASKS HER TO DO SO. THIS SHOWS THAT THOUGH SHE IS HAVING A HARD TIME, SHE REALLY LOVES SEHUN UNTIL HER FINAL SECONDS.
FOR SEHUN, HE STAYS THE SAME WHICH MATCHES THIS PLOT PERFECTLY BECAUSE OTHERS WOULD HAVE LEFT NARA BECAUSE IT IS REALLY HARD TO DEAL WITH DEPRESSED AND SUICIDAL PEOPLE. IT IS NOT EASY TO BE THERE FOR THEM BUT HE TRIES IT BECAUSE HE LOVES HER SO IN THIS CONTEXT IT FITS PERFECTLY THAT HE DOESN'T REALLY CHANGE OVER THE STORY.
FOR SEHUN, HE STAYS THE SAME WHICH MATCHES THIS PLOT PERFECTLY BECAUSE OTHERS WOULD HAVE LEFT NARA BECAUSE IT IS REALLY HARD TO DEAL WITH DEPRESSED AND SUICIDAL PEOPLE. IT IS NOT EASY TO BE THERE FOR THEM BUT HE TRIES IT BECAUSE HE LOVES HER SO IN THIS CONTEXT IT FITS PERFECTLY THAT HE DOESN'T REALLY CHANGE OVER THE STORY.
CHARACTER'S RELATIONS (5/5) - THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN NARA AND SEHUN IS BEAUTIFUL WRITTEN AND AS I ALREADY WROTE ABOVE, I LOVE HOW SEHUN CHOOSES TO STAY WITH NARA WITHOUT HESITATING FOR A SECOND AFTER REALIZING THAT HIS GIRLFRIEND IS CUTTING HERSELF OR IN THE PAST WHEN SHE WAS TRYING TO KILL HERSELF. IT REALLY IS A BEAUTIFUL RELATIONSHIP THOSE TWO SHARE THAT IT MAKES THE WHOLE STORY BITTERSWEET BECAUSE OF THE WAY IT ENDS.
THE AUTHOR'S MINDSET (40/40)
LOGICALLY (10/10) - THE WHOLE ONE-SHOT MADE SENSE AND WAS REALLY RELATABLE.
ORIGINALITY (10/10) - I READ A LOT OF STORIES ALREADY ON AFF BUT FOR YOUR STORY, IT WAS LIKE YOU TOOK TWO IDEAS AND CREATED SOMETHING NEW. I DON'T REMEMBER READING A STORY WITH SUCH A PLOT SO FAR.
TONE (5/5) - THE TONE WAS REALLY GOOD THROUGH THE WHOLE STORY BECAUSE IT HAD THIS SAD VIBE WITH NARA BEING DEPRESSED BUT THEN THERE WERE ALSO THESE ALMOST FLUFFY PARTS WHERE SEHUN AND NARA TELL EACH OTHER HOW MUCH THEY LOVE EACH OTHER AND IT FITS THE STORY. IT SHOWS THAT NOT EVERYTHING IN NARA'S LIFE IS BAD BUT THAT THERE ARE GOOD THINGS TOO THOUGH IT DOESN'T CHANGE THE ENDING.
NARRATION (5/5) - YOU CHOSE THE POVS REALLY WELL BECAUSE WE GET TO SEE HOW NARA IS FEELING AND WHAT SHE IS THINKING BUT ALSO WHAT SEHUN IS THINKING, FEELING. IT HELPS US TO CONNECT TO THE CHARACTERS AND WE ARE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND BETTER WHAT THEY ARE FEELING FOR EACH OTHER AND THAT THEY ARE NOT ACTING.
STORYLINE (10/10) - ALL IN ALL, THE PLOT WAS REALLY GOOD. YOU WERE ABLE TO SHOW NARA'S PROBLEMS, HER FEELINGS AND WHY EVERYTHING BECAME LIKE THAT. THEN WE ALSO SEE SEHUN AND HOW HE TRIES HIS BEST TO MAKE NARA FEELING BETTER THOUGH I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT HE WAS A BIT NAIVE TO THINK THAT JUST BECAUSE HE IS ASKING HER TO STOP CUTTING HERSELF THAT SHE IS ABLE TO STOP LIKE THAT. IT IS NOT AS EASY AS IT SOUNDS TO HIM, ESPECIALLY AS NARA DESCRIBES IT AS SOME KIND OF ADDICTION AS THIS IS A WAY FOR HER TO FEEL PAIN, TO FEEL ALIVE. AND THOUGH SEHUN TALKS TO NARA'S BULLIES IT DOESN'T HELP ANYMORE BECAUSE NARA DOES KILL HERSELF IN THE END THOUGH AS A READER YOU ARE WISHING FOR SEHUN TO FIND HER JUST IN TIME SO SHE WILL SURVIVE.
YOUR DESCRIPTIONS WERE REALLY GOOD, DETAILED AND READERS WHO DON'T EXPERIENCE SUCH A SITUATION THEMSELVES ARE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND NARA'S FEELINGS AND IT REALLY GETS YOU THAT YOU HAVE THIS SAD FEELING INSIDE. AND IT MAY SOUND WEIRD BUT I THINK THE ENDING FITS THE STORY GOOD BECAUSE IT SHOWS THAT NOT EVERYTHING HAS A HAPPY ENDING AND THAT WE SHOULD THINK ABOUT WHAT WE ARE SAYING TO OTHERS BUT ALSO THAT WE SHOULD TELL OUR LOVED ONES ABOUT OUR FEELINGS, OUR LOVE FOR THEM BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.
YOUR DESCRIPTIONS WERE REALLY GOOD, DETAILED AND READERS WHO DON'T EXPERIENCE SUCH A SITUATION THEMSELVES ARE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND NARA'S FEELINGS AND IT REALLY GETS YOU THAT YOU HAVE THIS SAD FEELING INSIDE. AND IT MAY SOUND WEIRD BUT I THINK THE ENDING FITS THE STORY GOOD BECAUSE IT SHOWS THAT NOT EVERYTHING HAS A HAPPY ENDING AND THAT WE SHOULD THINK ABOUT WHAT WE ARE SAYING TO OTHERS BUT ALSO THAT WE SHOULD TELL OUR LOVED ONES ABOUT OUR FEELINGS, OUR LOVE FOR THEM BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.
PROPER USE OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (25/25)
PROPER GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION (10/10) - THERE WERE NO MISTAKES THAT WERE EYE-CATCHING AND DISTURBING WHILE READING YOUR STORY.
TERMINOLOGY (5/5) - YOUR VOCABULARY IS ALSO REALLY GOOD, YOU WERE ABLE TO USE IT TO CAPTURE FEELINGS AND ATMOSPHERE WELL AND DIDN'T USE ANY PHRASES OR WORDS TOO OFTEN.
LANGUAGE BARRIER (10/10) - THERE WAS NO OVERUSE OF THE KOREAN LANGUAGE SO THERE IS NOTHING MUCH TO WRITE HERE.
REVIEWER'S ENJOYMENT (5/5)
OVERALL I REALLY ENJOYED YOUR STORY THOUGH IT WAS PRETTY SAD. BUT STILL, EVERYTHING FIT SO WELL FROM THE BEGINNING TO THE END THAT I WAS STILL ABLE TO ENJOY READING IT THOUGH I PREFER HAPPY ENDINGS MOST OF THE TIME.
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