Tears of Blades - --SpringJelly

BLK's Review Shop ACHIEVE
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REMINDER
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BONUS: I TRIED TO ANSWER ALL YOUR QUESTIONS IN THE REVIEW BUT IF SOMETHING IS STILL UNCLEAR, FEEL FREE TO PM ME. ALSO, I HOPE I WAS ABLE TO ANSWER EVERYTHING YOU WANTED TO BE POINTED OUT. 
 
 
 
♦FEEL FREE TO MESSAGE US PERSONALLY WITH ANY CONCERNS. 
♦ PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO CREDIT OUR SHOP'S LOGO/BANNER IN YOUR STORY'S FOREWORD!
♦ THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING BLK
REVIEWS AND FOR YOUR PATIENCE! HOPE TO SEE YOU VISIT AGAIN.
 
 
--SPRINGJELLY
REQUEST ON: 7/31/16
REVIEWER: BLACKROSESTEARS
FINISHED ON: 12/30/16
SCORE: 100/100
TITLE: (10/10)
LOGICAL (3/3) - AT FIRST YOU CAN'T HELP BUT WONDER ABOUT THE MEANING BEHIND YOUR TITLE AND IT'S CONNECTION TO THE STORY. BUT ONCE YOU START READING, THERE ARE SEVERAL PARTS IN THE PLOT THAT GIVES YOU HINTS OF THE TITLE OR EVEN MENTION IT DIRECTLY.
EYE-CATCHING (3/3) - IT IS A REALLY INTERESTING TITLE BECAUSE IT DOESN'T REVEAL SOMETHING ABOUT THE PLOT AND HAS A MYSTERIOUS VIBE ABOUT IT. I WAS REALLY CURIOUS ABOUT THE ACTUAL PLOT BECAUSE OF THE TITLE. 
ORIGINAL (4/4) - YOUR TITLE IS REALLY ORIGINAL, I DIDN'T FIND ANY OTHER TITLE WITH THE SAME OR A SIMILAR TITLE AT ALL. 
 
STORY'S FOREWORD/DESCRIPTION (10/10)
STORY'S SUMMARY (5/5) - YOUR DESCRIPTION DOESN'T REVEAL TOO MUCH OF THE STORY. IT REVEALS JUST AS MUCH AS NEEDED TO MAKE SOMEONE CURIOUS ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT SOUNDS REALLY SAD, DRAMATIC BUT STILL INTERESTING.
APPEARANCE (5/5) - THE OVERALL APPEARANCE OF YOUR FOREWORD IS GOOD. IT IS NOT MESSY OR CONFUSING.
 
CHARACTERS/CASTS (10/10)
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT (5/5) - THERE WASN'T REALLY A BIG CHANGE IN YOUR CHARACTERS AS NARA IS SAD, SUICIDAL AND DEPRESSED THROUGH THE WHOLE STORY THOUGH THERE IS A SHORT PERIOD WHERE SHE AT LEAST SEEMS TO TRY TO GET BETTER, TO STOP HURTING HERSELF BECAUSE SEHUN ASKS HER TO DO SO. THIS SHOWS THAT THOUGH SHE IS HAVING A HARD TIME, SHE REALLY LOVES SEHUN UNTIL HER FINAL SECONDS. 
FOR SEHUN, HE STAYS THE SAME WHICH MATCHES THIS PLOT PERFECTLY BECAUSE OTHERS WOULD HAVE LEFT NARA BECAUSE IT IS REALLY HARD TO DEAL WITH DEPRESSED AND SUICIDAL PEOPLE. IT IS NOT EASY TO BE THERE FOR THEM BUT HE TRIES IT BECAUSE HE LOVES HER SO IN THIS CONTEXT IT FITS PERFECTLY THAT HE DOESN'T REALLY CHANGE OVER THE STORY. 
CHARACTER'S RELATIONS (5/5) - THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN NARA AND SEHUN IS BEAUTIFUL WRITTEN AND AS I ALREADY WROTE ABOVE, I LOVE HOW SEHUN CHOOSES TO STAY WITH NARA WITHOUT HESITATING FOR A SECOND AFTER REALIZING THAT HIS GIRLFRIEND IS CUTTING HERSELF OR IN THE PAST WHEN SHE WAS TRYING TO KILL HERSELF. IT REALLY IS A BEAUTIFUL RELATIONSHIP THOSE TWO SHARE THAT IT MAKES THE WHOLE STORY BITTERSWEET BECAUSE OF THE WAY IT ENDS.
 
THE AUTHOR'S MINDSET (40/40)
LOGICALLY (10/10) - THE WHOLE ONE-SHOT MADE SENSE AND WAS REALLY RELATABLE. 
ORIGINALITY (10/10) I READ A LOT OF STORIES ALREADY ON AFF BUT FOR YOUR STORY, IT WAS LIKE YOU TOOK TWO IDEAS AND CREATED SOMETHING NEW. I DON'T REMEMBER READING A STORY WITH SUCH A PLOT SO FAR. 
TONE (5/5) - THE TONE WAS REALLY GOOD THROUGH THE WHOLE STORY BECAUSE IT HAD THIS SAD VIBE WITH NARA BEING DEPRESSED BUT THEN THERE WERE ALSO THESE ALMOST FLUFFY PARTS WHERE SEHUN AND NARA TELL EACH OTHER HOW MUCH THEY LOVE EACH OTHER AND IT FITS THE STORY. IT SHOWS THAT NOT EVERYTHING IN NARA'S LIFE IS BAD BUT THAT THERE ARE GOOD THINGS TOO THOUGH IT DOESN'T CHANGE THE ENDING. 
NARRATION (5/5) - YOU CHOSE THE POVS REALLY WELL BECAUSE WE GET TO SEE HOW NARA IS FEELING AND WHAT SHE IS THINKING BUT ALSO WHAT SEHUN IS THINKING, FEELING. IT HELPS US TO CONNECT TO THE CHARACTERS AND WE ARE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND BETTER WHAT THEY ARE FEELING FOR EACH OTHER AND THAT THEY ARE NOT ACTING. 
STORYLINE (10/10) - ALL IN ALL, THE PLOT WAS REALLY GOOD. YOU WERE ABLE TO SHOW NARA'S PROBLEMS, HER FEELINGS AND WHY EVERYTHING BECAME LIKE THAT. THEN WE ALSO SEE SEHUN AND HOW HE TRIES HIS BEST TO MAKE NARA FEELING BETTER THOUGH I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT HE WAS A BIT NAIVE TO THINK THAT JUST BECAUSE HE IS ASKING HER TO STOP CUTTING HERSELF THAT SHE IS ABLE TO STOP LIKE THAT. IT IS NOT AS EASY AS IT SOUNDS TO HIM, ESPECIALLY AS NARA DESCRIBES IT AS SOME KIND OF ADDICTION AS THIS IS A WAY FOR HER TO FEEL  PAIN, TO FEEL ALIVE. AND THOUGH SEHUN TALKS TO NARA'S BULLIES IT DOESN'T HELP ANYMORE BECAUSE NARA DOES KILL HERSELF IN THE END THOUGH AS A READER YOU ARE WISHING FOR SEHUN TO FIND HER JUST IN TIME SO SHE WILL SURVIVE. 
YOUR DESCRIPTIONS WERE REALLY GOOD, DETAILED AND READERS WHO DON'T EXPERIENCE SUCH A SITUATION THEMSELVES ARE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND NARA'S FEELINGS AND IT REALLY GETS YOU THAT YOU HAVE THIS SAD FEELING INSIDE. AND IT MAY SOUND WEIRD BUT I THINK THE ENDING FITS THE STORY GOOD BECAUSE IT SHOWS THAT NOT EVERYTHING HAS A HAPPY ENDING AND THAT WE SHOULD THINK ABOUT WHAT WE ARE SAYING TO OTHERS BUT ALSO THAT WE SHOULD TELL OUR LOVED ONES ABOUT OUR FEELINGS, OUR LOVE FOR THEM BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE. 
 
PROPER USE OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (25/25)
PROPER GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION (10/10) - THERE WERE NO MISTAKES THAT WERE EYE-CATCHING AND DISTURBING WHILE READING YOUR STORY.
TERMINOLOGY (5/5) - YOUR VOCABULARY IS ALSO REALLY GOOD, YOU WERE ABLE TO USE IT TO CAPTURE FEELINGS AND ATMOSPHERE WELL AND DIDN'T USE ANY PHRASES OR WORDS TOO OFTEN. 
LANGUAGE BARRIER (10/10) - THERE WAS NO OVERUSE OF THE KOREAN LANGUAGE SO THERE IS NOTHING MUCH TO WRITE HERE. 
 
REVIEWER'S ENJOYMENT (5/5)
OVERALL I REALLY ENJOYED YOUR STORY THOUGH IT WAS PRETTY SAD. BUT STILL, EVERYTHING FIT SO WELL FROM THE BEGINNING TO THE END THAT I WAS STILL ABLE TO ENJOY READING IT THOUGH I PREFER HAPPY ENDINGS MOST OF THE TIME. 
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Comments

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WooGyu_KyuSung_YooSu
#1
One more thing. I know the Description and the forward are super long. But I planned this story to be like a Novella/Soap Opera.
It may seem like I'm giving away to much in the Description and The Forward, but as you realize you might notice that I haven't.
There are three main parts to this story:
The Past-Childhood
The Past- Orphans/Teens
The Present- The main setting, in which the forward revealed nothing.

I'm an interactive author, meaning I ask questions at the end and leave hints here and there for the readers to try there best at guessing. (They become more invested in my story this way, lol)
WooGyu_KyuSung_YooSu
#2
-Username : WooGyu_KyuSung_YooSu
-Profile link : http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/49463

- Story title : Love Me Right
- Story link : http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/976222/love-me-right-mpreg-hunhan-taoris-kaisoo-sulay-chanbaek-chenmin

-Genre : OT12, Angst, Mpreg, Fluff, Comedy, Growth, Friendship, Life, and "LEARNING TO LOVE"

- On-going | To be a long fic.

- Reviewer : KaihleeLo

- So The title of the fic is "Love Me Right", but it has nothing to do with the EXO song; even though some would just assume. The reason why I titled it 'Love Me Right' is because 6 of the main characters suffered in their childhood and eventually were orphaned. They don't know how to let themselves love. In particular, Luhan. As for the other 6 'Love' and 'Lust' are two different things.

- So before you read, I would like to point out, that the pacing of the story and the built up is exactly how I planned. I don't want to rush Romance because you don't 'fall in love' over night, and the characters need to mature. Also, there is a pattern to my chapters "The Past" chapters are essentially flashbacks. "The Present" is taking place now. For every 5 "The Present" chapters, it will be followed by 2 "The Past" chapters; Childhood/Teen years.

- I have a reader who offered to proofread my chapters since I had some typos, and I don't have the time to go back and fix them. "I always update between 12 am - 5 am, so that is the main reason". She is still editing the earlier chapters so please realize I am fixing the errors.


Oh gosh this was a lot. I'm sorry. I'm just really nervous, and I wanted to explain the above before you review.
-Tigress-
#3
Chapter 127: Hey can I have someone send me my review here so I can save it?
This archive is non-selectable so I can't save it myself.