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Author: BambiDear
Reviewed By: KaihleeLo

Requested Date: 1/09/16

Review Completion: 5/17/16
Story Link: Link
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Title: 8,5/10

Logical: 3/3

It's a logical title that fits well with the storyline. Also as the story is basically 70% a letter and the title does have to do with letters. 
Eye-catching: 2/3
Honestly when I first saw it I thought it said "Deer Luhan" (lol), but that wasn't the case. Either way I'd say it's not exactly all that eye catching unless you're a fan of Luhan(?) 
Original: 3.5/4
Titles with 'Dear _name_" isn't common but it's not exactly a rare title either.

Description/Foreword: 9/10

Summary: 4/5

The summary is simple and very direct; however, I think it could be misleading as it said Luhan was Sehun's boyfriend? In the story it doesn't sound like they actually dated, but more like Luhan was Sehun's love interest?  

Appearance: 5/5
The layout was clean and well organize. It was easy to go through the foreword without having too much exposed and such. 

Character Development/Showcasing: 8/10

Development: 3/5

As the story progressed I felt that there was no major development since we weren't given a clear idea of how each character were. So the characters were already developed in my opinion. Though I'm having a hard time trying to read both of the leads, Sehun and Luhan. 

First off to start with, Luhan obviously has an abusive father (just like Sehun did) however he does not stand up nor fight his father. He also had siblings but not much was mention and not a whole lot between him and his siblings were known. Seems like Sehun was a lot closer to Lucy than Luhan was. I find Luhan's character very hard to follow.... At first he sounded weak, fragile, and even reserved. But near the end when he charged Sehun with a knife, it sort of turn grey for me. I don't understand why he was so dead set on trying to harm and hurt Sehun when his father has been abusing his family. It could be that he loved his father no matter what happened, but that was never really shown(?) 

As for Sehun at first I was curious why he was always talking smack about Luhan's father, despite him being a man with a nasty personality. Later on we do find out that it was due to him being abuse by his own father and who had also lost his mother to his father. To see how Sehun was abled to kill off Luhan's father so easily sort of surprised me.... It made me question if he had had any experience in killing already? And I suppose I lied when I said there were no development whatsoever. I can now see a development (not sure if I can even call it that) but Sehun's style of killing and disposing of the bodies has improved. When he first murdered Luhan's father, he carelessly kept the man's head in his basement. Meanwhile for Xiumin and Jongdae, he really destroyed their bodies and facials. 

Relation/Cast: 4/5
When I read the summary I thought there would only be three characters, but when other EXO members suddenly showed up without much explaination on their part, it did sort of killed it. Sometimes big cast can be better than smaller cast, but to have a big cast meant being able to protray them all well, otherwise they'll end up as boring side characters and to a certain level even useless to the storyline. 

I'm also interested to know does Luhan seeking a man as a lover had anything to do with his father? Same goes to Sehun. 

Behind the Author's Mind: 37/40

Logical: 9/10

The logic behind the story is doable and do make sense. Some scene comes off as odd and random, but they're all great twists to the storyline. 
Original: 10/10
I actually found this extremely refreshing. The whole story was basically told through the events in a letter then we get to actual scenes of detectives and present time of the story's timeline. . 
Tone: 5/5
The tone was stablized and well balanced throughout. 

Narration: 5/5

Narration stayed the same from start to end as well, nothing distracting here. 
Storyline: 8/10
The ending was definitely a cliffhanger and this story did raise more questions than answers, but overall I love the plot. The idea behind the story is once again refreshing. 

The only issue I have with this is I don't understand who this letter is directed to? Is it to Luhan who Sehun somehow thought survived the counter stab wound? I mean that seems to be the case, however, some of what was written seems odd, especially to be telling someone who already knew of what had happen. I know it was probably a way to give the readers an idea but I thought it could have been written differently? 

I also noticed that there was one date at the top of the letter however the story carries on a number of different days of events in one letter. I thought it'd be nice and better if each different scene had a date on them? That way readers get a sense of the timeline. 

The pace of the story wasn't exactly satisfactory, for me at least, but it wasn't so slow to the point where I felt even if I had skipped some paragraphs I probably wouldn't have missed a lot. So that's a good thing. 

Proper Use of the English Language: 23/25

Proper Grammar/Punctuation: 9/10

There were minor grammar errors, but those could easily be fixed with proofreading. One thing I'd like to point out though xD: 

blonde = a person with blond hair

blond = hair color 

I noticed you referred to Luhan's hair as blonde, where it should be blond twice in the story. I believe it was near the beginning and the end when Luhan was dying in Sehun's arms. Or instead of mentioning his blond hair, he can be refer to as the blonde. 

Termonology: 5/5
Other than blond/blonde as mentioned, I believe your choice of vocabulary was very well done. You chose simple and easy terms for readers to read at ease and get through without much disruption. 

Language Barrier: 8/10
Here's the part where I'd have to dock you some points just because I have to do my job as the reviewer. Instead of the word 'hyung/noona' I know big brother and big sister sounds akward, but just simply using Luhan and his older sister's name could easily have been translated into hyung or noona in Korean. And here we're assuming they're speaking Korean already, so no need for Korean expression.

General Enjoyment/Last Comment: 5/5
To be honest Sehun annoyed me at first then Luhan annoyed me at the end. But overall I enjoyed the idea of the story's plot. I just wish more could have been explained and written in this case one. Otherwise I thought this was brilliant! 

Once again I apologize for the late, very late review. A lot happened and went unnoticed for us, so I have to pick this review up just today. Either way I hope you don't take anything I've insisted to heart and feel belittle. I hope you actually find my review somewhat helpful. Thank you for your patience!

Total Points: 86.5/100