Voodoo Doll - naahrotta
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NAAHROTTA
REQUEST ON: 12/17/15
REVIEWER: BLACKROSESTEARS
FINISHED ON: 1/17/15
SCORE: 97/100
TITLE: (8/10)
LOGICAL (3/3) - IT IS GOOD TO SEE WHY YOU CHOSE THIS TITLE AND THERE IS A CONNECTION TO THE PLOT.
EYE-CATCHING (3/3) - IT IS AN INTERESTING TITLE THAT GIVES A DARKER VIBE WHICH CAUGHT MY INTEREST TO READ THE STORY.
ORIGINAL (2/4) - THERE ARE MANY OTHER STORIES WITH THE SAME OR A SIMILAR TITLE SO IT TAKES AWAY A BIT OF THE UNIQUENESS OF THE TITLE WHICH IS A PITY BECAUSE IT DOES SOUND INTERESTING.
STORY'S FOREWORD/DESCRIPTION (10/10)
STORY'S SUMMARY (5/5) - IT IS WELL WRITTEN AND DOESN'T REVEAL TOO MUCH OF THE STORY. IT CAUGHT MY INTEREST BECAUSE OF THE UNKNOWN PLOT OF THE STORY SO I REALLY WANTED TO KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN.
APPEARANCE (5/5) - THERE IS A CLEAR STRUCTURE AND IT IS NICE TO READ SO EVERYTHING IS GOOD HERE.
CHARACTERS/CASTS (10/10)
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT (5/5) - YOUR CHARACTERS ARE JUST SO COOL. THEY ARE REALLY NICE TO READ AND HAVE THIS NATURAL VIBE ON THEM THAT HELPS TO FELL A CONNECTION TO THEM. IT IS NICE TO SEE HOW AT FIRST JONGHYUN AND KIBUM ARE NOT FRIENDS AND ARE AFRAID FROM EACH OTHER BUT AT THE SAME TIME ARE FASCINATED FROM EACH OTHER AND GROW CLOSER TO EACH OTHER. THEY ACT SO NATURAL AND HAVE SUCH A NICE RELATIONSHIP THAT IS GROWING IN A GOOD PACE. ALSO IT IS GOOD HOW THEY CHANGE OVER THE STORY, GROW CLOSER AND HOW KIBUM "TIES" JONGHYUN TO HIMSELF SO HE CAN'T LEAVE, SURE IT SOUNDS A BIT SHOCKING BUT THEY LOVE EACH OTHER WHICH MAKES IT MORE HARMLESS TO READ.
CHARACTER'S RELATIONS (5/5) - I THINK I ALREADY WROTE IT ABOVE BUT I WILL WRITE IT AGAIN: THE INTERACTIONS BETWEEN KIBUM AND JONGHYUN ARE REALLY GOOD WRITTEN. THEY ARE NOT FRIENDS OR IN LOVE FROM THE START BUT INSTEAD THEIR RELATION GROWS AND WE CAN SEE IT PRETTY GOOD.
THE AUTHOR'S MINDSET (39/40)
LOGICALLY (10/10) - THERE IS NOTHING THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE IN THE STORY.
ORIGINALITY (10/10) - THE PLOT IDEA IS JUST AMAZING, THERE IS NO OTHER STORY I READ BEFORE THAT HAD THIS IDEA AS A BASE.
TONE (5/5) - THE TONE ALWAYS FITTED THE SITUATION AND OVERALL THE WHOLE STORY AND ITS IDEA.
NARRATION (5/5) - THERE WAS NO SUDDEN CHANGE OF THE POV WITHOUT GIVING HINTS ABOUT THE PERSONS VIEW SO THERE WERE ALSO NO CONFUSION.
STORYLINE (9/10) - FROM THE START THE STORY HOOKED ME UP TO CONTINUE TO READ IT UNTIL THE END. WE GET TO KNOW JONGHYUN AND HIS FAMILY, HE WORKS AS A LUMBERJACK AND I LIKE HOW YOU DESCRIBE HIS JOB OR HIS LIFE OVERALL BECAUSE YOU SHOW THE POSITIVE THINGS BUT ALSO THAT THERE ARE TIMES BEING A LUMBERJACK COULD BE DANGEROUS WHEN BEARS APPEAR. THEN TWO CHILDREN DISAPPEAR IN THE WOODS AND THEY LOOK FOR THEM. JONGHYUN LOOKS FOR THEM EVEN IN THE PARTS OF THE WOODS THAT ARE OF LIMITS, HE CAN SAVE THEM FROM A BEAR WHEN HE MEETS THE WITCH THAT IS WELL KNOWN IN THEIR TOWN. THIS WITCH HELPS HIM TOO AND GIVES HIM TIPS. FROM THIS DAY ON JONGHYUN CAN'T FORGET ABOUT THIS MYSTERIOUS PERSON AND WANTS TO MEET "HER" AGAIN. THEY BECOME FRIENDS AND JONGHYUN FINDS OUT THAT THE WITCH IS ACTUALLY KIBUM. THEY BECOME FRIENDS AND TURN INTO LOVERS
KIBUM SHOWS THAT HE TRUSTS JONGHYUN AND TELLS HIM ABOUT HIS PAST, THEY SLEPT WITH EACH OTHER AND EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE PERFECT. EXPECT FOR THE FACT THAT JONGHYUN HAS TO MARRY A GIRL HE DOESN'T LOVE.
KIBUM SHOWS THAT HE TRUSTS JONGHYUN AND TELLS HIM ABOUT HIS PAST, THEY SLEPT WITH EACH OTHER AND EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE PERFECT. EXPECT FOR THE FACT THAT JONGHYUN HAS TO MARRY A GIRL HE DOESN'T LOVE.
UNTIL HERE EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT TO READ, YOUR WRITING STYLE IS REALLY GOOD TO READ AND YOUR DESCRIPTIONS WERE AMAZING. THE FLOW WAS GOOD TOO BUT HERE IT ALSO GOT A BIT CONFUSING FOR ME BECAUSE OF KIBUMS SUDDEN CHANGE IN HIS BEHAVIOR AND HOW HE IS ALMOST OBSESSED WITH JONGHYUN, THOUGH I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE PACT WITH THE DEVIL. IT FELT A BIT RUSHED HERE LIKE IT IS CLOSE TO THE END SO MAYBE YOU CAN ADD SOME PARTS THAT COULD MAKE IT A BIT MORE OBVIOUS WHY KIBUM IS DOING WHAT HE IS DOING AND WHAT EXACTLY HE IS DOING TO JONGHYUN TO KEEP HIM BY HIS SIDE.
PROPER USE OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (25/25)
PROPER GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION (10/10) - I DIDN'T FIND ANY MAJOR MISTAKES HERE SO THERE IS NOTHING TO SAY.
TERMINOLOGY (5/5) - YOUR VOCABULARY IS REALLY GOOD, THERE IS NO OVERUSE OF ANY WORDS OR PHRASES.
LANGUAGE BARRIER (10/10) - THERE IS ALSO NOTHING TO SAY HERE BECAUSE THERE WAS ALSO NO OVERUSE OF THE KOREAN LANGUAGE.
REVIEWER'S ENJOYMENT (5/5)
I REALLY ENJOYED READING YOUR STORY FROM THE BEGINNING TO THE END. YOUR PLOT WAS AMAZING AND WELL WRITTEN AND I JUST FELL IN LOVE WITH JONGHYUN AND KIBUM THAT I HAVE TO READ MORE OF THEM.
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