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Author: Eunriehyun

Pairing: Hyun Joong x OC
Reviewed By: kpoperrose

Requested Date: 01/06/16

Review Completion: 01/17/16
Story Link: Link
Reminder: 

- Feel free to message me personally for any questions or clarification 

- Don't forget to credit us with our banner/logo 

- Thank you for choosing BLK Review Shop, hope to see you again!

Bonus: (Your questions and focuses for us here)

You asked about my thoughts. Firstly, I'd like to appalud you because honestly, the detective and mystery genre is very hard to write the first time. Authors tend to either rush or drag the story on. My advice would be to leave out medical examiner scenes unless they are or the discovery is extremely crucial to the development of the story. 

Secondly, mystery stories are usually more interesting if written through one person's view as this gives the story a more serious tone. It can still be written in a third POV but just through the view of one person. It could be So Min or even Hyun Joong.

Lastly, nothing is better than a mystery story with mysterious characters. We all know that So Min's hiding a secret from Hyun Joong but Hyun Joong could also be hiding something, possibly the reason why he became a cop, maybe he watched someone die because of him being a jerk.

I think you're doing pretty well right now and just keep writing.

Title: 8/10

Logical: 3/3

The title relates to the story as the killer's message is 'For the Aftermath'

Eye-catching: 1/3

People might want to check out what the problem was about but some people might also skip over the title as it is pretty bland. Unfortunately, it is very hard to change the title as it is the killer's message.

Original: 4/4
I haven't encountered a fic with the same title.

Description/Foreword: 7/10

Summary: 2/5

It is a pretty interesting summary and may intrigue people to read the story. Unfortunately, there are some typos and grammatical errors. For example: 

"So Min once believed on a boy who confess to her being his "only love""

could be

"So Min once believed a boy who confessed to her, saying she was his "only love""

"With her heart torn apart she swares to never fall in love again."

could be

"With her heart torn apart, she swears to never fall in love again."

"Reguarding the murderer, she has has found one body"

could be

"Regarding the murderer, she has found one body"

Appearance: 5/5

Everything looks pretty neat and organized.

Character Development/Showcasing: 8/10

Development: 3/5

There are two main characters in the story so far, So Min and Hyun Joong. 

So Min is a woman with a past that is horrifying, basically. She was portrayed as innocent and average before she gets tricked by jock Hyun Joong into giving him her ity. Now, she's a detective and she seems very independent and self-confident which is an 180 degree change from her past self. It also turns out that she has a son, Yeo Jingoo, who I'm guessing is her kid from that time she and Hyun Joong did it. 

Hyun Joong was a jerk and a horrible person to be around when he was younger. Even though he's portrayed as a changed person, he's still a flirt and will try to flirt with any girl around him.

To be honest, So Min is the only interesting character in the story. She seems to have a lot of secrets that even she does not reveal to the readers. Hyun Joong isn't as interesting unless something horible happened to him that he still carries around as emotional baggage.  

Relation/Cast: 5/5

The relations between the casts are pretty realistic so there isn't really much problem here.

So Min and Hyun Joong have a past and they're both assigned as partners. So Min is still uncomfortable around Hyun Joong and that's totally understandable. She still isn't ready to forgive him and Hyun Joong just found out that the So Min he's working with is in fact the same So Min he did in the gym.

My favourite relationship between the characters has got to be So Min's and Jingoo's relationship. They are the perfect blend of best friends and a loving mother and son relationship. Jingoo seems to really, really love his mom and vice versa which is great because for some people, a kid like Jingoo can serve as a reminder of the terrible memory.

Behind the Author's Mind: 29/40

Logical: 6/10

Everything seems pretty logical except for the matress in the gym closet. My suggestion would be to replace it with a bench in the locker room. There was also a phrase that didn't make much sense to me.

In the 1st chapter:

"So Min, want me to leave you today?"

Is her father asking is he should drop her off or does it mean a completely different thing?

Original: 8/10

The story seems pretty original.

Tone: 5/5

The tone of the story was perfect as it was grim and a bit monotone which suits the story.

Naration: 2/5

The tenses used weren't consistent. For example,

In the 2nd Chapter:

"They continue to  walk until they arrive at her desk."

could be

"They continued to walk until they arrive at her desk."

"The victim drop this.."

could be

"The victim dropped this.."

Storyline: 8/10

The storyline was pretty smooth and the pace the author's going at is okay as it is not too slow or too fast. 

Proper Use of the English Language: 18/25

Proper Grammar/Punctuation: 5/10

There were some grammatical errors. For example,

In the 1at chapter:

"She moved her hands up to his face and shooked her head"

could be

"She moved her hands up to his face and nodded her head" 

If she's agreeing then she should nod her head and the past tense of shake is shook.

In the 2nd chapter:

"He added when she gave his a cold glaze."

could be

"He added when she gave him a cold gaze/glare."

In the 4th chapter:

"By the looks of it,she didn't fought him."

could be

"By the looks of it, she didn't fight him."

Since the word 'didn't' was already used, there's no need to use the past tense of 'fight'

Terminology: 3/5

The vocabulary wasn't expanded nor limited, it was just right.

Language Barrier: 10/10

There were no overused Korean phrases.

General Enjoyment/Last Comment: 3/5
I enjoyed reading it but I'm still a bit lost and that's just because the story hasn't really developed its own flow yet. 

Total points: 73/100

A little note from me

This was a pretty decent score considering what a harsh grader I am (hehe). Anyways, I hope you keep writing and complete this story. By the way, sorry for the long wait. Fighting! :D

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