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Author: amusingmurdermachine
Reviewed By: KaihleeLo

Requested Date: 1/07/16

Review Completion: 5/17/16
Story Link: Link
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Bonus: (Your questions and focuses for us here)
characterization (if there is enough chemistry between the pairing and such): under character development/showcasing

flow: under the storyline

overall enjoyment: under general enjoyment

Title: 9/10

Logical: 3/3

The title most definitely fits and pretty logical. The title has everything to do with the story from starts to end. 
Eye-catching: 2.5/3
"Say Yes" reminds me of weddings? If I was passing through a bookshelf fulled of books, I wouldn't have check out this book even if I did mumble the title aloud. However, because it matches so perfectly to the story, I've got to say it is quite an eye-catcher.  
Original: 3.5/4
Original? Maybe not, but fresh? I'd say yes (xD) Then again, there's no better title for this than 'Say Yes'. 

Description/Foreword: 10/10

Summary: 5/5

The summary on the AFF site was short, simple, and intridging.At first it makes one wonders why a Chinese voodoo? But that's just the interesting way to put it.  
Appearance: 5/5
The appearance on both sites made reading easy. Nothing that hurts the eye or distract readers from the one shot. 

Character Development/Showcasing: 10/10

Development: 5/5

Though the story was a one shot, we were able to see development in a good pace and perfect manner. We saw how Soojung, the 'denial queen' was able to overcome her obstacles and turn Chanyeol into a boyfriend versus a guy friend.

Chanyeol, was a character already developed but at the same time was growing as we get closer to the end. I believe it takes a lot for someone to simply give up on trying to make their interest fall in love with them, and remain just friends. Especially when there's no other party in the relationship (i.e. love triangle). As someone who's protrayed to be immature, he showed a very mature side. Ready to give up in order to at least keep in contact with his love interest. 

You did an amazing job displaying their traits and personalities, especially that of Chanyeol. In just some 3.4k words I was able to paint a realistic man and woman. Don't think I've ever seen it done in such a nice fashion before. Not for a one shot at least. 

Relation/Cast: 5/5
I love how you mentioned friends, other people, Soojung's father, but in the end you kept the cast only to Soojung and Chanyeol. Usually as authors some want to bring more light to other characters, such as besties of the leads and whatnot but I'm glad this was solely only for Soojung and Chanyeol. 

For one of your points you wanted me to focus on was their chemistry and pairing, I can tell you that for starts I've never thought about pairing Krystal and Chanyeol together before, but this one shot actually made me love it. You explained and told the story so well that the interaction between such an odd pair (at least to me, it's a foreign pair) became so natural and imaginable. So, kudos to you!

Behind the Author's Mind: 40/40

Logical: 10/10

Everything that happened was explained very well. Behind each scene, the logic was there. Nothing was out of the blue, random, and illogical. 
Original: 10/10
The idea of two leads confessing to one another may not be an original ideal, but I can't dock you points for this. This is the one time I've read a one shot such as this, where 80% of it was about confessing. 
Tone: 5/5
The tone of the storytelling was stablized from start to end. 

Narration: 5/5

The narration, from third person point of view, was too stablized. At times I thought it was going to go from third POV to Krystal POV real quick, but I was wrong. It was well kept. 
Storyline: 10/10
The opening/beginning gave me chills. Good chills. Right from the start, I could imagine the setting already and how everything was going. What makes it better is that the phone conversation between the leads, too, was brought to live and was very realistic. Beside just conversing, we were able to see both thoughts from both parties and got a hint of how thoughtful they were of one another. 

The flow of the story was perfect. It wasn't too fast nor too slow. It flowed at the perfect pace. 

Proper Use of the English Language: 24.5/25

Proper Grammar/Punctuation: 9.5/10

Grammar for the most (as of 99%) is right on. The only problem I had was that in one paragraph both Soojung and Chanyeol's dialogue were stack together. Generally speaking it's incorrect to have two different characters' dialogues be mixed together. 

Other than that I noticed the term 'ok' was used in one of Chanyeol's say. I suggest spelling it out as 'okay' but itt's completely your choice. 
 

Termonology: 5/5
I didn't have any problem with your chosen termonologies. In fact the choice to some of these words really enhanced and build the perfect picture for us readers. 

Language Barrier: 10/10
I thank you for not using unnecesailry Korean expression. (It's not that I hate it, but got to do my job and point out those small Korean words). Also I thought it was nice that you spelled out Korean language, etc for Chanyeol. It instantly made me know that you are fully aware that the story and characters are taken in a Korean setting.  

General Enjoyment/Last Comment: 5/5
I enjoyed this a lot and I hope to see more future work of yours similiar to this. As said before, I'm not a fan or shipper of Krystal and Chanyeol but this story definitely gave me the idea that this couple does exist and truly loved each other in this short story. 

Once again I apologize for the four months wait for a ohe shot review. Either way I hoped my feedback and review was able to help you just a little, though it's no doubt that you're already a terrific writer. 

Total Points: 98.5/100