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Author: mirrue
Reviewed By: kpoperrose

Requested Date: 12/17/15

Review Completion: 12/18/15
Story Link: Link
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Title: 10/10

Logical: 3/3

The title connects with the story as the story is about Jessica finding out that she was married to her best friend, Aiden.

 
Eye-catching: 3/3
It is eye catching as the readers would be curious to find out how the two people got married.

Original: 4/4
I haven't encountered a fic with the same title.

Description/Foreword: 9/10

Summary: 4/5

Everything is fine except for the grammar error which was "How did we got married?" which was supposed to be "How did we get married?"

Appearance: 5/5

Everything was placed neatly.

Character Development/Showcasing: 6/10

Development: 3/5

There is a lack of significant character development. The story's incomplete state might be the reason for this . Despite the lack of significant development, the slight development of the characters were pretty good, especially when it was revealed that Jessica accepted everything just because she wanted her father's company. 

Relation/Cast: 3/5

The relations were realistic except for some. One of them would be Krystal's and Eiji's relationship. The fact that they're so okay with dating each other is a bit weird, especially since Eiji dated her sister. I can't help but feel a bit suspicious when I saw that they were okay with their engagement. 

Another one is Jessica's father who's so insistent on getting all of his children married as soon as possible. The only reason I can think of for this is that he's dying.

Behind the Author's Mind: 31/40

Logical: 8/10

Some parts of the story are relatable and realistic but some, not that much. One of the most relatable things aret he social norms that are placed and emphasized in the story. For example, Aiden and Jessica got married in order not to taint Jessica's image. These social norms are also shown at the party they had, like when everyone started smiling, some sincerely some not, at Jessica after her father announced that she was to be married soon.

The non realistic aspect would be girls being allowed to get maried at the age of fifteen. 

Original: 6/10

The origin of the storyline isn't that new, It is the usual they had to get married to each other because of unexpected incidents. Despite this, the way the author wrote the story in her own way was very original. the author made the government records show that Jessica and Aiden were married, so they had to get married. Another cliche aspect would be that Aiden seems to have fallen for Jessica and wants to sincerely marry her but Jessica is only going through with this marriage because she wants the company.

Tone: 5/5

The tone of the story was very fresh and easy to read. It mirrors the way Jessica thinks in the story as she is not much of a complicated character. She just believes that certain things has to be done in order for her ambition to come true. Since it is written very simply, I honestly feel as if there are some twists coming as it feels as if the author doesn't reveal a lot about her past.

Naration: 5/5

The story was written consistently in a third point of view and past tense.

Storyline: 7/10

Since the story is still incomplete, there are no morals to be learned. We haven't learned what happens when Jessica blindly agrees to get married just because of her ambition. The storyline is pretty smooth so there isn't much to say about that .

Proper Use of the English Language: 18/25

Proper Grammar/Punctuation: 5/10

There are some grammatical errors and I am going to list them down here. 

In Chapter 1:

'I had to spend a million dollar to clear your name in the school. Plus, retaining that Japanese idiot took half a mallion dollar.' should be 'I had to spend a million dollars to clear your name in the school. Plus, retaining that Japanese idiot took me half a million dollars.' The word 'dollar' has to be in a plural form as more than one dollar was used.

In Chapter 2:

'Before this, I'm stuck with hectic school schedule. I can't join B & E events.' should be 'Before this I had a hectic school schedule, so I couldn't join B & E events.'

'Look, that guy has been peeping at us thrice. It's more like at you, Jessica.' could be 'Look, that guy has been stealing glances at us from time to time. It seems as if he's focused on you, Jessica'

'Mind me you through the night, Krystal?' should be 'Mind if I be your   throughout the night, Krystal?'

'It was not something to be surprised for' should be 'It was not something to be surprised about.'

In Chapter 6:

'cause I bring the best one tonight' should be 'cause I brought the best one tonight'

Termonology: 3/5

The vocabulary was not that expanded. Because of this, it made it easy to read, so not necessarily a bad thing.

Language Barrier: 10/10

There were no overused Korean phrases.

General Enjoyment/Last Comment: 3/5
I enjoyed reading the story but it hasn't really appealed to me yet. This may be because the story is still beginning so the author's still getting into her/his own rhythm.

Total points: 77/100

A little note from me

The score may not look that high but I'm a harsh grader so it's a pretty good score to get. The plot and the characters are very interesting and I hope you found my review useful^^ Fighting author-nim! 

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