lilyemc - Stray
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lilyemc
request on: 10/18/15
reviewer: Kaihleelo
finished on: 10/19/15
score: 98.5/100
Title: (9/10)
LOGICAL (3/3) - The title fit perfectly well with the story, as one jongdae was unwanted by his own people, and another appearing as though he belong but personally wasn't attached to that belonging group. And the reason that even the other characters bring being strays really connected the title and story.
EYE-CATCHING (2/3) - to be honest i found the title too vague and i would have immediate assume it's some sort of tragic or angsty book with the title alone. but all in all it summarized the meaning behind the story into one term. which is great.
original (4/4) - as i've mentioned, it's a little to vague and blunt for me. it reminded me of words like outcast (which i have seen too many times on aff) but i'll say this was pretty original for a story title, frank, but affective.
story's foreword/description (10/10)
story's summary (5/5) - The description really got me excited and intrigued. the play on words added to the hook, thus making an interesting summary.
appearance (5/5) - it's simple and neat, also accessible on both pc and phones. nothing complicated.
characters/casts (10/10)
character development (5/5) - there were a lot of characters and usually i do not mind this as i love to use a large cast of characters. so here's one word for you, beautiful. the development of jongdae was beautiful. it was done with legit reasonings and ways, also as you presented his character well over time. jongdae went from being carefree and ignorant (since he know he can't die no matter how hard he tried) to someone who began taking things into his own hands. it's like he started to accept the reality of the world he lived in through his experiences.
each character has their own unique characteristics but if i go on forever, this may end up being even longer, since as you can tell i love rambling. so i'll just leave it at jongdae, our lead hero.
character's relations (5/5) - i love the meetings between jongdae and the other characters, it happened naturally and wasn't totally random or rushed. in how each character dealt with each situation was an interesting read. the exchange of dialouges too, caught me in awe and giggles, some of the comebacks were clever.
the author's mindset (40/40)
LOGICALLY (10/10) - The story definitely makes sense and is done with legit logic. i, however, lack the knowledge of mythological creatures and supernatural beings so i couldn't pick up all of the references that were used. but i was aware of the basics (such as what did jongdae represent, cerberus the underworld multi headed dog) thus i love the scenes of the dog fight, it was logically and interestingly enough done.
ORIGINALITY (10/10) - the storyline is based off of mythological tales and whatnot, and it was only on very little ocassions did i happen to read supernatural/mythological stories such as this one. but the idea behind this story was definitely a fresh one.
TONE (5/5) - i could tell you wrote this in your own voice. and just by your writing, i wondered if fay was a character who took after you, a little. random—i know.
NARRATION (5/5) - the story remained third person throughout so kudos to that.
STORYLINE (10/10) - the story itself takes place in the future if we read by the dates, but what the people are wearing had me stuck in the past, the victorian era. so i thought that was interesting as there is some kind of cycle to every aspect of the human race, such as fashion for example. The again the story's setting does not takes place in the real world we live in today, as it appeared made up, so i can't say for sure if it was truly a cycle or just simply the setting you as the author wants us to visual.
anyway about the storyline, i can't say enough about it. probably only about three to four major things happened? but they were dragged out into 30 chapters and i just love how it still kept me on my toes after every chapter. i have to admit that the minor twists left a huge impact on me, for instance i would be reading and just taking into mind what was happening, then bam! you hit me with a fay and lay being siblings. i did not see it coming, not even a little and i was left wanting more!
one thing i'm going to say about your story is that it's complicatedly outstanding. i can imagine this as a game (especially in the tower, like can't we play little chen running about the tower?) or film thanks to your usage of vocab. in developing the visuals for us, the readers. honestly, the storyline is just so, graceful.
proper use of the english language (24.5/25)
proper grammar/punctuation (9.5/10) - As always you're an ace when it comes to grammar and punctuation. all i suggest is going back and proofreading, some dictions were left out on accident.
termonology (5/5) - I know i've mentioned before about your big terms but honestly every term in here was necessary and made reading even more enjoyable. especially when termonologies are very important for an action story, using one term over and over again to describe a weapon can be boring and whatnot, but your forte in the english words really did you well in this story.
language barrier (10/10) - Everything was in english and no random korean word was spotted nor threw me off so kudos once again!
Reviewer's enjoyment (5/5)
Action, mystery, and historical genres are my crack and this story did it for me, as far as action goes. i love the details of the movements made by the characters and how well you drew out each scene for us. this is the kind of story that would convert anti fans of supernatural, mythological, and action genres into fans. it is that well done. once again i am very grateful to have read this story, seriously there were a lot of properly, beautiful formed sentences in the story i wished i have written myself. (not that i'm going to steal it from you though *wink wink* nah I'm just joshing!)
anyway your stories always keeps me intrigued and amazed. nicely done and i wish you the best with your future work! also congrats on making onto our featured! be expecting some questions soon, as it's our latest gift from the shop.
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