Concealed Identity - KaihleeLo
BLK's Review Shop ACHIEVE--BLK's--
--Reviews-
--Reviews-
reminder
///////////////
Bonus: [Your questions and focuses for us here]
♦Feel free to message us personally with any concerns.
♦ thank you for choosing blk
reviews and for your patience! hope to see you visit again.
Kaihleelo
request on: 10/18/15
REVIEWER: kpoperrose
finished on: 10/29/15
score: 73/100
Title: (8/10)
LOGICAL (1/3) - Does the title ties in legitimately with the story and its plot.
To be completely honest, I haven't really seen the connection but maybe it's because it's not finished yet.
EYE-CATCHING (3/3) - Is the title interesting? does it hook a reader's attention right away.
The title itself intrigued me right away.
original (4/4) - is it a too common, cliche, or vague title or is it new and refreshing?
I haven't encountered a title like this before.
story's foreword/description (5/10)
story's summary (4/5) - how intridguing is the description? does it lure in readers at first sight?
It was pretty intriguing and it did lure me at first sight.
appearance (1/5) - How organized and nice it appears versus how messy and unorganize it is.
THere's just too much going on. I advise you to actually make a separate chapter for all the credits to the posters and reviews.
characters/casts (6/10)
character development (2/5) - From beginning to ending, have any of the characters changed due to events, etc.
Due to the incomplete state of the story, I'm giving this a low score because there hasn't been time for the characters to develop yet. So far, there are only several memorable character changes, like Yoomi who ended up being greedy after receiving the kingdom's garden.
character's relations (4/5) - Are the character's interactions realistic or believable.
The Interaction between Yoomi and Inpyo were pretty realistic when they were going to run away for love and it was pretty realistic when Yoomi accepted that the prince was handsome but felt guilty toward inpyo because of those feelings. The only reason why this got a pretty high score was because the story is a historical themed story so some stuff will not make sense so I totally get it.
the Story (30/40)
LOGICALLY (7/10) - HOW MUCH OF THE STORY ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE? OR IS RELATABLE?
The story's relatable in terms of the characters' mindset and some circumstances One of them is when the king forces the crown prince to marry, this still happens in real life. as for the relatable aspect, I could relate to the characters in terms of wanting their revenge. They have gone through some serious stuff so I get where their deep sense of revenge comes from.
ORIGINALITY (10/10) - IS THE STORYLINE TOO CLICHE OR IS IT NEW?
I'm gonna give this a perfect score because I have never seen anything like this so it's pretty original to me.
Style (3/5) - Was the story pleasant to the eyes?
I liked the year stamp on the beginning on every chapter and the sword that separated each scene because I felt that it fit the theme really well.
NARRATION (5/5) - WHAT POV(S) ARE/IS BEING USED?
The story is written in a third POV and I feel that I didn't have a problem with the narration at all.
STORYLINE (5/10) - ALL IN ALL, HOW WAS THE
STORY'S PLOT AND STORYLINE. DID IT HAVE A PLOT? ANY MORALS? DID IT TEACH THE READERS ANYTHING? AND WAS IT SMOOTH OR ROUGH?
As this story is incomplete, there isn't a clear moral yet. And a lot of points were docked because the story was a bit confusing to me. Maybe it's because I'm not too familiar with the characters but the plot itself was confusing. I do see potential in this story after reading the last chapter though.
proper use of the english language (21/25)
proper grammar/punctuation (6/10) - how well were grammar and punctunation used.
There were some mistakes in the grammar. For example, in chapter 1
"Didn't I say that once the construction to the academy is completed then you will have to get marry?"
It should be
"Didn't I say that you will have to marry once the construction of the academy is completed?"
And "Your wish will not be tolerant" which should be "Your wish will not be tolaerated" Tolerant is a noun and the verb is tolerate. There are more grammatical errors so I hope to see less after the author finishes editng.
termonology (5/5) - How was vocabulary? was it limited or expanded?
The author's choice of waords was pretty interesting because of the use of the words 'lad' and 'lass'
language barrier (10/10) - Was "oppa", "ani", "kawaii", etc used too much? did it go from "mom I love you" to "omma nan saranghaeyo" or something of the like? was there too much korean expressions in a story with english as the main language?
there was nothing like that.
Reviewer's enjoyment (3/5)
The reason why I docked points was because the flow of the story was sort of confusing in the beginning so I couldn't really enjoy it. I hope the story gets less confusing and enjoyable for me.
A little message from me: I hope that I'll enjoy your story after it gets edited because the story was just getting interesting.^^
Comments