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Author: t0pslyfe
Reviewed By: KaihleeLo

Requested Date: 12/28/15

Review Completion: 12/28/15
Story Link: Link
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Bonus: (Your questions and focuses for us here)

Title: 10/10

Logical: 3/3

I'm still wondering where the 'miles' is in anywhere of the story, or why you chose miles. But I'd say it will have to do with the storyline in all sorts of ways. When I saw miles, I thought of it that as Seunggi going the extra 'mile' to find this anonymous killer, because before then he'd stay inside. Or that the killer's victims are always a 'mile' or 'miles' apart, meaning his victims may be in the same city and nowhere else. 
Eye-catching: 3/3
It's quite an eye-catcher. I found myself reading the titlle over and over again to see if I could get a gist of what it could possibly mean.  
Original: 4/4
The title is quite original yes. It's a fresh title and one that stands on its own, it doesn't remind me of any other titles. 

Description/Foreword: 10/10

Summary: 5/5

The summary doesn't give anything away and at the same time trigger interest. It's probably one of the best summaries I've read on here.  I found the quote extremely powerful: “People speak of memories of moments with their parents, laughter with their friends, and kisses with the love of their lives. Yet I know that could never be true for me because so many of my memories are not mine. And they’ll never be mine.”

In the story we never got to see or know Seungri's parents. Or rather they're alive or do they mattered at all in his life. I don't recall any scene where he laughed with Jihye, though there was the chuckle part but that wasn't really Seungri. However it was the guy Jihye was seeing. And of course Seungri who has never fallen in love before has never shared any kind of kisses with the love of his life. And then the last line summed everything up for the first three chapter thus far. 

Appearance: 5/5
It's nice, readable, and organize. Plus it's short so readers can easily get a hint of the story's summary then jump right into the story. 

Character Development/Showcasing: 9.5/10

Development: 5/5

Though the story is just starting, we've already seen development from our lead Seungri. All his life, meaning for as long as he could remember he would know that he has the ability to see other people's memories, or memories that are not his. Thus to avoid going crazy, he probably hid himself away and in his home majority of the time. But at the death of his only friend, Seungri couldn't just sit at home and risk trying to find this anonymous, dangerous killer.  

Relation/Cast: 4.5/5
So far we've been exposed to Big Bang's Seungri, Jiyong, and OC Jihye in the first three chapters. However we know that Jiyong, as the detective who were the first at his office to discover Seungri's ability, is eager to find this killer. To do so, he seek Seungri's help after giving him the benefit of the doubt and believed the victim's friend. We also know that Jiyong is also an undercover, or may have been undercovered, but he's daring.

Jihye on the other hand is seeing a man who Seungri doesn't know, and has been killed. I wonder though, how long have they been friends and does Jihye know about Seungri's case? Was there a reason for Seungri to sort of freak out when Jihye was at his place and especially in his room? We do know though that they're quite close as Seungri doesn't mind shopping with Jihye. 

Behind the Author's Mind: 40/40

Logical: 10/10

The plot makes sense and is possibly to a certain level, I suppose. 
Original: 10/10
The idea of Seungri touching belongings and being able to obtain the strongest memories of the owner is not a new idea but also not very common. But you were able to make it your own by including a murdered case that had to do with the lead's only friend.  
Tone: 5/5
The tone of the story felt somewhat depressing and dark as it's angst. Plus Seungri and Jihye aren't exactly childish or active characters. They feel like drained and tired adults.  

Narration: 5/5

The narration of the story is in third person POV and very constant throughout so no complaints here. 
Storyline: 10/10
As the story is still in its developing stage, I'm still anxious to see what you as the author have in stored for us. However, I liked the idea of the storyline, its plot and the direction it's heading. 

Proper Use of the English Language: 23/25

Proper Grammar/Punctuation: 8/10

It's confusing when the dialogue of the speaker is written along the opposing party. For examle: 

“How about at seven? For dinner? At the restaurant across from your office?” Seungri chuckled. (It sounded like Seungri said this as he chuckled. Obviously it wasn't him who said this as we read from the whole text, plus he spoke again in the upcoming dialogue. This is improper grammar. Try to avoid this.) 

“I’ll be happy too,” he said. “I’m sorry about tonight.”

Here's how I would write it to prevent further confusion: 

“Of course!” Seungri said. “Tomorrow?” 

“How about at seven? For dinner? At the restaurant across from your office?” Jihye suggested. Seungri chuckled. 

“I’ll be happy too,” he said. “I’m sorry about tonight.” 

“Don’t worry about it. I love you.”

[or]

“Of course!” Seungri said. “Tomorrow?” 

“How about at seven? For dinner? At the restaurant across from your office?” Jihye suggested.

Seungri chuckled. “I’ll be happy too,” he said. “I’m sorry about tonight.” 

“Don’t worry about it. I love you.”

Other than that, below are other minor mistakes I spotted and just wanted to point out.

Original: “Hello,” Seungri muttered when he was finally found it. 

Suggestion: (I think you meant has) “Hello,” Seungri muttered when he has finally found it. 

Original: As Seungri predicted, it took almost twenty minutes before the car was empty enough to fit both Seungri and Jihye.

Suggestion: (You probably meant the elevator?) As Seungri predicted, it took almost twenty minutes before the elevator was empty enough to fit both Seungri and Jihye.

Termonology: 5/5
Your knowledge of terms made the story a much better read. I didn't find any error with your usage of dictions. 

Language Barrier: 10/10
No random drop of Korean expressions so kudos here. 

General Enjoyment/Last Comment: 5/5
I enjoyed the story a lot and have subscribed. I'll be waiting for chapter four. I thought to write a similar story feating VIXX's Leo but never got around to it, however, after reading this it made me really want to start one. I'm not sure how much longer the story is planning to go, but I'm sure it'll only get more interesting here on out. 

On the side note I'm not sure if you created the poster or if you have the picture chosen of Seungri, but it's very interesting to see. I love how the background itself has to do with the story. 

Total Points: 97.5/100 (Please let us know on how we're doing by voting on our poll on the front page. Your feedback is much appreciated!)