The Pianist

Reviewer: dhaatk
Review for:  storyteller1101

Requested on: 11/20/2014
Finished On: 11/23/2014

NOTE: 18 Chapters (Spoiler Alert)

(9/10) Title: The title is not the most original out there but it is short, accurate and giving some spoilers about the story.

(7/10) Character: Characters confused me quite a bit in an annoying manner. First of all, Eunji did not fulfill my imagination about her from the foreword. I expected her to be a girl who truly sleeps around without a care, but in reality she was having only with one man (Baekhyun), even though in the beginning you created a portrait of a woman who sleeps with multiple men in short period of time. You should have described her as a mistress, not a . The problem that I have with Chaneyol occurred in the sixth chapter. I understand his concern and why he came to see how Eunji was doing with her fever, but how he started questioning the woman about her private life and relationship with Baekhyun was too out of blue. It would have made sense if they knew each other for some time, but it was only the second time they met, so the situation made Chaneyol's behaviour look badly weird. What concerns Baekhyun, I think you succeeded in portraying the main antagonist. He was cruel and barbaric just as I've expected, even his confession to Eunji in the end was not so sudden. However, I could not catch his intentions that made him marry Taeyeon, so some brief backstory would be very beneficial. Speaking of his wife, I liked her character too. As well as the maid Cara's. They both were a good tool of creating a magnificent plot twist.

(9/10) Originality: Of course there are plenty of stories like this, but because of unexpected ending I'm giving you nine.

(35/40) Storyline/Plot: Storyline did not contain a lot of new ideas, but I can't say it was lacking much. Just a few things caught my eye that were confusing. For example, in the beginning I couldn't understand why Eunji had with Baekhyun, though it was stated that she hated him so much. Also, the pianist appearance seemed a bit awkward, you should have written how Eunji suddenly heard the door opening or something like that. In chapter 15, there was lack of speculation about Cara's behaviour. You could have paid more attention to Eunji's thoughts about the change in her maid. And finally, in last chapter I could not comprehend why Chanyeol acted so harshly and mocked Eunji in front of everyone. He only heard Baekhyun confessing to Eunji, the girl didn't say anything back. However, I enjoyed how throughout the story you showed difference between two guys and how Eunji feels about both of them. Also, the plot twist was gold! I expected the cliché finale, where the girl and the guy end up together, living happily and ever after. But you just left the protagonist with nothing and that was really good.

(17/25) Grammar/Errors: There were quite many mistakes, so here are some of them. Please note that these are not all.

Chapter 1 – “as I tried to breath from the corset"” – “to breath despite the corset”;

“to attend to see a new musician” – “to see/hear the new musician play”;

“assortment of fruits and appetizers were laid” – “assortment <...> was laid”;

“and gently placing” – “placed”;

“the juice burst” – I'd write “bursting” to make the sentence sound better;

“the pendent that lay” – “that laid”;

“and replaced by desire” – “and was replaced”;

“every once of my being” – “ounce”;

Chapter 2 – “went about” – “went around”;

“Looks like Taeyeon would be busy <...> Baekhyun never loved Amelia" – what am I missing, why are you talking about Baekhyun's wife Taeyeon and then mention another girl?;

“I breathed in some much needed air" – “so needed air”;

Chapter 3 – “Baekhyun no longer had an effect on my body anymore” – double negative is not grammatically correct in English language, so you should write either “no longer had an effect” or “did not have an effect anymore”;

“if the pianist ever uttered a word about us to Taeyeon or David” –who is David?

“Come by my home” – “come to my house”;

“it is the home” – “the house”;

Chapter 4 – “I will probably collapse to the ground if I did not get to bed soon” – also not grammatically correct, I'd write “I probably would have collapsed on the ground if I had not gotten to bed soon”;

“I entered my home” – “the house”;

“I looked up and saw Alexander” – who is Alexander?;

“and while” – these words can't be used together;

Chapter 6 – “I would make perfom” – “make him perform”;

Chapter 7 – “she is naive and innocence” – “naive and innocent”;

“are your family still planning on the summer ball” - “is your family still panning the summer ball”;

Chapter 9 – “opened the door before me” – “for me”;

(2/5) Overall Enjoyment: This is not only not my kind of a story, but it also has quite many mistakes, what considers grammar and character/plot development.

(79/100) Points Total

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