Trapped in a K-drama - Blu3Wind

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Trapped in a K-Drama

Reviewer: dhaatk
Review for:  Blu3Wind

Requested on: 11/02/2014
Finished On: 11/09/2014


NOTE: 31 Chapters (Spoiler Alert)

(10/10) Title: The title is simple, spoiling but accurate, so I see no reasons why not to give you all points. Plus, I guess there aren't stories with such title, since I haven't stumbled upon one in this site before and when I googled your story on my phone (that was the only way for me to read it on mobile), result of this particular story was first.

(6/10) Character: I'm very hesitant on how much to give for characterization, since I'm in love-hate relationship with most of the characters. Let's begin with the protagonist – Eun Hee. I think her personality is unique and I love that low but right level of sass she has. However, at times I lost connection between different traits Eun Hee possesses and got confused a bit, because she seemed out of character, though on the other hand it's hard to distinguish how she truly is as a person because of that missing link. It's also hard to understand her true intentions sometimes and giving it a better thought (this actually refers to plot, too) I don't really get why would she go after a guy and try fix her current alternate situation (I mean, being broke and having bills to pay) rather than trying to go back home, to real world. Speaking about minor characters, I believe there are too many of them. Now, I know (more like assume, actually) that this is based on Inifinite members (right?), but it is so hard to memorize all the names and grasp the differences between their personalities, that from time to time it becomes a burden to read the story. Plus, in Korean dramas there aren't that many characters that get so much screen time, are there?

Let's talk about girl characters first. I appreciate that you at least left Ah Ri with the same personality as she was presented in the beginning, before the big change. Because of that Eun Hee had at least one person to stick to, however I was surprised she didn't confide in her friend, I expected them to be closer. Maybe more action for Ah Ri would be good too, because so far the only time you spoke more about her was when you described her as sweet girl, who couldn't hurt anyone. As for Soo Yeon, I expected her to be school's most popular girl who tends to sleep around in alternate universe, but was surprised when it appeared to be slightly different. I like how she plays her mean girl's role and that sweet encounter between her and her two former friends on the trip. Anyhow, I believe there's more to her story and she, just like Woo Hyun, doesn't want to get married, but it's hard to speculate because you don't give any details about her inner world.

Now that I've mentioned Woo Hyun, let's discuss male characters. I find it really strange how Woo Hyun basically reads Eun Hee's mind and I haven't watched enough kdramas to know if it's a common thing for a leading male. I also found it unappealing that he so openly asked Eun Hee to be his girlfriend in front of everyone's eyes and I think that he should be more reserved what considers his relationship with Eun Hee. What I mean is that he should act like he's more into his fiance Soo Yeon and show his affection towards Eun Hee only secretly. That also deals with plot, because it would create more tension and be more drama-like. Next – Kim Gyu Sung. I think he is one of my favourite characters. It was hard to understand how did he end up in trashy apartment, but I finally managed see everything crystal clear as you revealed more information in latest chapters. I love his attitude and how he stays in character the most (as well as Soo Yeon). Of course, sometimes he steps out of his narcissistic guy form and shows kindness but it feels right for him to do so. However, I couldn't say the same about Hoya. I enjoyed that he is so so bad that he would even hit a girl without hesitating. He has a perfectly terrible personality and it was kind of ruined, when he softened and showed slight affection towards Eun Hee (I'm talking about comforting her several times). I'd have loved to see him being unreasonably bad until the end. But speaking of bad guys, I like Myungsoo a lot. The fact that you actually made him an alien ever makes everything better. I now wonder a lot whether he will return to his homeland (btw, Eun Hee and Myungsoo is my otp, i can't even omg...). Talking about strange, Dong Woo made me laugh every time he appeared in the narration. I loved the idea of him working basically everywhere and always. You portrayed him as harmless dork very well. There's nothing else I can say about Dong Woo really, just that he boosts the score for characterization. I think the last two minor characters I haven't talked about yet are Sung Yeol and Sung Jong. What considers Sung Yeol, he's so in love with Eun Hee and she is so oblivious of the fact that it's painful to read. Anyway, I like how he shows his affection in such a subtle and caring way, it brings a very warm and welcoming aura to the whole story. Lastly, Sung Jong's character is a bit too blank to me. In the beginning he got enough action, but now he's too passive and sometimes it feels as if he's not even a part of the story anymore.

(10/10) Originality: Again, giving you all points for this because I can't recall exact or very very similar storyline I've seen or read before, though I can't say that this is absolutely an idea I'm facing for the first time.

(30/40) Storyline/Plot: Just like with characterization, it's hard for me to give points for storyline. What I missed the most was expansion on Eun Hee's feelings and emotions. For instance, at the beginning, when she suddenly woke up and realized she's trapped in some alternate dimension, it was described how confused she was, but only very briefly and the lack of emotions was very strong to me. This issue continues throughout the whole story. Even when Eun Hee understand that her heart wavers a lot to almost every guy (Sung Yeol being the only exception as far as I can evoke my memory) you didn't pay enough attention to describing her thoughts. Every single time the protagonist realizes in how awkward situation she is, she should stop and reflect on what has happened. I actually got an impression that Eun Hee is not used to skinship and is miserable , that flutters at any single touch she gets from a guy (by the way, like real kdrama, there hasn't been yet and I'm fascinated by that). Which is weird for she communicates with boys so easily. This also made wonder if Eun Hee was any different before the incident, so as for me I would have loved if you had written some more pre-history. I didn't like reference to Twilight, when Eun Hee questioned Myungsoo about his entity, it was out of place, because you're using bits and pieces of various Korean dramas and then bam, you randomly insert extract from famous American film. Also, as I have mentioned before, seven guys is too much. I think that even for a kdrama seven are too much. Maybe you should have stuck to the triangle cliché. I can actually see glimpses of it, when you write about Woo Hyun, Eun Hee and Sung Yeol. You need to give more attention to their lovestory rather than making Eun Hee's heart waver at every guy. I understand you use all guys from one kpop group, but that doesn't work for you in this story. Plus, in total there are ten characters, right? Don't you yourself think that's too much? Of course, with story already having 30+ chapters, it's impossible to change what has been already written, but I would suggest a crucial thing – eliminate at least three characters. Make them go to study abroad, change their lifestyle or even kill them. Seriously, anything would do the deal. Oh, and I don't know to which point put this, but your usage of Korean words disturbed me. Thank God I've started a course on Korean language this semester, so I know what “kamsa hamnida” or other basic words mean, but I never understood people using other language in such way. To end this part on a happier note, I loved this sentence in fourth chapter: “This wasn't fate! This was a part of a drama script that allowed all the impossible to become possible”

(24/25) Grammar/Errors: There were few grammar mistakes here and there, so I'm taking out one point. These are the mistakes I've managed to spot:
Chapter 3 – “lift up my shirt and proof it” – “prove it”
Chapter 5 – “slowly she made her way” – “slowly, she made”
“she had no experiences” – “no experience”
Chapter 6 – “tables placed across the interior” – “across the room”
Chapter 7 – “she wasn't even sure what was reality or fictional” – “real or fictional” or “reality or fiction”
Chapter 8 – “I can't possible pay everything” – “possibly”
“scan her surrounding” – “surroundings”
“his gaze were directed” – “was directed”
Chapter13 – “shoes cabinet” – “shoe cabinet”
Chapter 20 – “everyone had in one way or another made her feel that way” –“made her feel like that”
Chapter 25 – “situations that helps you” – “help you”
Chapter 26 – “you're very smart at school and are quite popular” – “and quite popular”
Chapter31 – “can I ask that?” – “Can I ask for that?”

(3/5) Overall Enjoyment: I decided to give you three for overall enjoyment, because I can't deny it is a good story, but I'm not sure if I'd like to continue reading.

(83/100) Points Total


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WooGyu_KyuSung_YooSu
#1
One more thing. I know the Description and the forward are super long. But I planned this story to be like a Novella/Soap Opera.
It may seem like I'm giving away to much in the Description and The Forward, but as you realize you might notice that I haven't.
There are three main parts to this story:
The Past-Childhood
The Past- Orphans/Teens
The Present- The main setting, in which the forward revealed nothing.

I'm an interactive author, meaning I ask questions at the end and leave hints here and there for the readers to try there best at guessing. (They become more invested in my story this way, lol)
WooGyu_KyuSung_YooSu
#2
-Username : WooGyu_KyuSung_YooSu
-Profile link : http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/49463

- Story title : Love Me Right
- Story link : http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/976222/love-me-right-mpreg-hunhan-taoris-kaisoo-sulay-chanbaek-chenmin

-Genre : OT12, Angst, Mpreg, Fluff, Comedy, Growth, Friendship, Life, and "LEARNING TO LOVE"

- On-going | To be a long fic.

- Reviewer : KaihleeLo

- So The title of the fic is "Love Me Right", but it has nothing to do with the EXO song; even though some would just assume. The reason why I titled it 'Love Me Right' is because 6 of the main characters suffered in their childhood and eventually were orphaned. They don't know how to let themselves love. In particular, Luhan. As for the other 6 'Love' and 'Lust' are two different things.

- So before you read, I would like to point out, that the pacing of the story and the built up is exactly how I planned. I don't want to rush Romance because you don't 'fall in love' over night, and the characters need to mature. Also, there is a pattern to my chapters "The Past" chapters are essentially flashbacks. "The Present" is taking place now. For every 5 "The Present" chapters, it will be followed by 2 "The Past" chapters; Childhood/Teen years.

- I have a reader who offered to proofread my chapters since I had some typos, and I don't have the time to go back and fix them. "I always update between 12 am - 5 am, so that is the main reason". She is still editing the earlier chapters so please realize I am fixing the errors.


Oh gosh this was a lot. I'm sorry. I'm just really nervous, and I wanted to explain the above before you review.
-Tigress-
#3
Chapter 127: Hey can I have someone send me my review here so I can save it?
This archive is non-selectable so I can't save it myself.