My Marriage With Mr. Playboy

Reviewer: dhaatk
Review for:  Moonzy

Requested on: 04/09/2015
Finished On: 04/10/2015

NOTE: 32 Chapters (Spoiler Alert)

(7/10) Title: The title is super accurate but it is too much of a cliché. There are thousands of stories with same or similar titles, such as “My Husband Is a Playboy” or even “Marrying a Playboy”.

(9/10) Character: All characters are nicely written and fully developed. The reader gets excited already in the first chapter. You show the difference between Soo-Rae and Jongin – two main characters – quite neatly. It is already obvious that Soo-Rae is responsible, she does a great job juggling between school and company. While on the other hand, Jongin is a womanizer to his core and does not like anything besides clubbing every night. This helps the reader to have clear portraits of main characters from the start. What considers other characters, the biggest impression is left by Eun-Hye and Xiumin. Eun-Hye is a typical best friend, who would never ever break the girl code, but this helps the story a lot. It is amazing how protective of Soo-Rae she is and how she despises Jongin, but grows to like him as soon as she is sure that the boy sincerely loves her best friend. Also, her words “Due to #9 of the Girl Code, I am prohibited to release any secrets that my best friend has told me” are really great. They are not only funny, but also describe Eun-Hye's character with one sentence. Another great character is Xiumin. He is just that thoughtful guy, who not only keeps others in check, but he actually has an impact on all of them.
Moving on to drawbacks, there is one – where are all the parents? Reader is aware only of Soo-Rae and Jongin's parents, but lives of other characters are confusing. Guys always hang out at Xiumin's apartment. Eun-Hye lives in her own place and even goes to work. But they all are juts high-school students. It does not make sense for them to be so independent.

(7/10) Originality: Just like the title, idea of this story is not even close to being original. The only thing that saved this was the plot twist. Soo-Rae and Jongin's parents not really wanting their children to inherit the companies yet, but just to get together again and fall in love with each other was a great turn of events!

(36/40) Storyline/Plot: The plot is not very impressive in about first half of the story. It is okay to exaggerate Soo-Rae's nightmares but it would be better if they were written in different font. Everything in general is happening too quickly and at times storyline is not very realistic. Then, Soo-Rae and Jongin escaped too easily from the mobs. Of course, they were beaten very badly, but it was not enough. scene was a bit illogical, too. More precisely, the fact that they had unprotected without Soo-Rae's consent. The girl is a and they are both still in high school. The outcome of having unprotected is painfully obvious.
What actually made storyline good, was the research on Korean history you had done before writing the quiz scene. It would have made no sense, if the girl questioned Jongin on history about the USA or other specific country. It also was refreshing how Soo-Rae kept imaging her kiss with Jongin. The shower scene was very cute, too.

(24/25) Grammar/Errors: The grammar is good, but not splendid. Going through all the chapters real quick and fixing the accidental mistakes would take only 10 or 15 minutes. At some places Past Simple and Present Simple tenses were mixed. Here are some of other errors:
“we are now are going to”'
“<...> but this time when he woke up. There was a girl next to him.” – it should be one sentence;
“Kim Jongin; or as everyone calls him, Kai” – should be placed in first chapter, not third;
“I guess this is why she ranked #1 in the entire school.” – the story is told in third person, so first person in narration should not appear;
“forced to touch the boys boy”;
“I slowly walked over to them with their homework.” – first person narrative appears again;
“more nicer” – it should just be “nicer”;
“panick”;
“You will do as your told!” – “you're”, not “your”;
“Getting there bags” – “their”, not “there”.

(3/5) Overall Enjoyment: The flow is alright and the chapters are short, so I read the whole story in one night. I like to read similar stories on my own sometimes, but I am more of the fan of angsty stuff. Good luck on your future stories!

(86/100) Points Total

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