Be mine, Lily flower-- Moelolz
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Story Details
Author: Moelolz
Reviewed By: Eunriehyun
Requested Date: 10/00/15
Story Link: Link
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Review
Title: 10/10
The title fit well with the story. It gave a suspense and eerie feeling together with a bit of physiological.
Description/Foreword: 10/10
A beautiful thought it through! Clean and well organized description.
Character Development/Showcasing: 10/10
Great communication between the characters, they did sound real and the protagonist development wasn't rush like in other pieces of ff.
Behind the Author's Mind: 40/40
Great storyline! It seemed original and fresh and full of surprises!! And although the story continues the readers are left with wanting more...hell, I wanted more!
Proper Use of the English Language: 15/25
The only errors I saw were grammar and spelling mistakes, which can be corrected be using an app or a Microsoft Word document. I saw errors in punctuation, and those that I already pointed out. The errors were presented in the first chapters.
General Enjoyment/Last Comment: 5/5
I loved your story. If I were her I would kill him in his sleep!! Oh, why doesn't he want her in his room....unless he has other girls there in a terrible state (!?) I think that your story will end in five chapters. Because it is almost at its peak, and what you I like for you to focus is in her decision making and what path will she go: the path of the victim or the path of justice. (I still think she should kill him to save herself and those she loves....without anyone knowing.lol)
Sorry, I write this types of stories so I almost all the time end up on killing someone -with a reason.
Thanks forthe reading and sorry I took so long.^^
Total: 90/100
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