Bloodlust - juuzou
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juuzou
request on: 08/01/15
REVIEWER: dhaatk
finished on: 08/09/15
score: 93/100
Title: (5/10)
LOGICAL (3/3) The chosen title truly makes sense and is completely related to the story. The narration has dark and gloomy atmosphere, so murky title just makes everything better. Also, the building-up tension and references to possible war in the future means some bloodshed, which only adds up to title's accuracy.
EYE-CATCHING (2/3) There are a lot of stories with literally same title, so it might not catch attention of every reader. However, it is good enough to attract angst and supernatural readers.
original (0/4) Unfortunately, as it has been briefly mentioned already, there are tons of stories with exactly the same title. Some simple mysterious word could be added to make it more creative, for example “Haunting Bloodlust.”
story's foreword/description (9/10)
story's summary (5/5) Description summarized story's continent quite well, it lets new readers to speculate about what they are going to read. Nevertheless, the story's summary is a bit messy. The biggest remark is towards a couple of sentences that start with “Do not be fooled by the title.” This should be in foreword with author's note.
appearance (4/5) This story has beautiful poster and background. Yet, the background seems a bit out of place, it could be darker, maybe a withered rose with blood droplets or something similar to it. Also, chapter layout is great. It is something new, but not too fancy, so it does not distract the reader!
characters (10/10)
character development (5/5) The development of any character is hard to evaluate yet, because there have been only three chapters published. However, good aspects of characterization can be easily spotted already. First of all, it is great that the number of characters is kept low. Chanyeol gives off a charming vibe and he most probably will have the role of peace-keeper in the future. The protagonist Chaos is very mysterious and her enigmatic past maintains reader's focus. However, Chaos diminishes a bit, when Baekhyun comes into the picture. When prince Baekhyun is first introduced, the image of him that sets in many readers' minds is of a monstrous young royal, who kills with his gaze and spills blood of others without any real reason. But with each chapter, readers quickly learn more about this character and Baekhyun proves himself to be thoughtful and rational, which is a great deal. A lot of authors tend to portray royals as horrific killing machines, but it is amazing how in this story the personality balance is kept.
characters relations (5/5) The way characters interact is awesome narration wise. It is a bit weird for the old man to bring randomly found girl to the king's palace as his slave, but the reason for doing so (Chaos having a face of royal) seems fair enough and can be easily accepted. Also, it is admirable how Chaos is not treated anyhow special in the palace. Other fighters and the prince converse with her just as they do among themselves and that is truly laudable.
the author's mindset (40/40)
LOGICAL (10/10) So far, everything has stable ground for happening. Starting with the old man in first chapter bringing Chaos in exchange of helping out his outlaw brother, ending with Chaos being thrown into fight practice room to become a member of prince's army, because there is no place to put her as a slave in the palace.
ORIGINAL (10/10) There has not been much story written yet, so it might seem unfair to evaluate its originality. Nevertheless, stories about royals are dying out now, so this one stands out.
TONE (5/5) The tone is serious and somewhat smart. It suits angst story about royals in mysterious atmosphere just right.
NARRATION (5/5) Author conveys their thoughts and what they want to say very well. Reader can easily picture what is going on and understand everyhting.
STORYLINE (10/10) All in all, the plot is great. All events seem to have consequence and succession, which is vital for any kind of text, especially of fiction.
proper use of the english language (24/25)
grammar and punctuation (10/10) Grammar skills of the author are basically flawless. The only minor mistake was spotted in the third chapter. Here, the sentence that starts with “the very thought of it” needs the first word to be capitalized.
vocabulary (4/5) The choice of words is almost neat. There are such phrases like “flowers bloomed with the redness of wrath” that captivate the reader and inspire them to continue reading just because of the used language alone. Nevertheless, the author should be more heedful and proofread before publishing. Because of a bit careless attitude, small spelling mistakes occur from time to time and that does not make the text more attractive for sure. One of such errors can be found in first chapter. There is a phrase “I'm the prince's frined,” even though it should be “friend.” A bit more mistakes appear in third chapter:
“then to out path;”
“Chanyeol and I were on our was to the area;”
“but his was greather.”
language barrier (10/10) There is no language barrier yet when it comes down to usage of Korean phrases, because they simply are not being used.
Reviewer's enjoyment (5/5)
I really enjoyed these three chapters! There is nothing much I can comment on more, just that I am totally in love with Baekhyun's character and have to admit that I keep fangirling a bit everytime he shows up. I am definitely staying subscribed and I hope I will have time to read future chapters. Also, sorry for short comments in some sections, but it is hard to write a lot about something perfect!
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