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Reviewer: Amizupen
Review for: _wallflower_

Requested on: May, 21, 2015
Finished On: June,19, 2015

NOTE: 8 Chapters (Spoiler Alert)

Title (9/10):

The title sounds mythically beautiful. It attracts my curiosity with the word choice of “curse”, and it automatically led me to think of creatures, spells and witches. However, I don’t get the point of the 「 before and after the title. It is rather distracting than pretty decoration. Those little symbol made me think of review or poster shops in AFF. Let’s face it we all judge a book by its cover and in this case, we judge title.

Character (17/20):

You did a really good job with characterizing the sisters. Both of them have a very different personality. I thought that Luhan’s character could add a little more work. Sure, he is a sleeping tiger, but it would be much clearer to portray how he act out his deceiving personality and slyly work behind the scene with a strong and tough personality. Even though there are a lot of character in the story, I think that you force on the main characters. Sehun and Jongin’s character needs a little bit more polish. I don’t judge by how much I like their personility. I judge on if I can identify them. The some relationships between characters are still in development. Sehun and Sohee’s loveline happen way too fast. I am not sure if you intended to do that. Sure love-at-first-sight is possible, but shouldn’t the character have doubts and uncertanities about their sudden feelings. On chapter 6, “She didn't know to where he was taking her but at the moment, no matter how odd it sounded, she knew that it was possible for her to follow him, until the end of the world.” This is just my oppinion. When there are more development between character, the closer it gets to reality.

There is a list I wrote for myself I hope that helps.

Rahee: adventurous, brave, curious, boyish

Sohee: gentle, caring, obedient, ladylike

Sehun: alerted, obedient, authoritative

Jongin: loyal, cool

Luhan: Intelligent, authoritative

Originality (20/20):

LOVE IT! This is mysterious, magical and refreshing. I like how you added on both historical setting and a fantasy genre to the the story. It is very attractive and preservative. You should definitely be praise for the hard work of creating such wonderful settings, even the traditional clothing and characters are detaily researched. Well done!

Storyline/Plot (-/30):

It is unfair to give you a point on a story with only 8 chapters; therefore to give you the best out of this review. I will give you some personal reactions.

Chapter 1: It created a great background for the story to procceed. Sohee and Rahee live in two different places, one with her father and one with her grandma. Sohee and Rahee knew about each other’s existence and exchanges letters every month. The myths has a repetition with songs and stories. A nice simple way to introduce the wolves with a smooth transition to the Goguryeo soldiers. Love the cliffhanger.

Chapter 2: The chapter mapped out the wolf pack’s position for me. It also linked the sister back together through the attack of the Goguryeo soldiers. Rahee’s magical powers are slowly being discovered, and more foreshadowing on Rahee’s future. The crown prince of China, Luhan,was introduced through a letter. Again smooth transition...

Chapter 3: Luhan’s smart and sly way of facing his father and other government official makes him a lovable character. Rahee’s relationship developed with the wolf is cool and interesting, but I missed see more trust between her and the alpha. Does the alpha wants to protect her or simply wants to keep her for her strong power? Who kidnapped Rahee?

Chapter 4: Rahee rescued by the wolves, and Luhan met her. She accepted the fact that she was a witch. Luhan meets the king and minister. Minister Go wants Sohee to marry the crown prince of Silla. Luhan met Sohee and found out the story behind Sohee and Rahee. Sohee receive news about Rahee and decide to enter the forbidden forest.

Chapter 5: Rahee encounter the white wolf, jongin and greeted with an injury. P.s. Lol on that dog comment. Luhan visits Minister Go and showed the reader he is a smart character. Sohee found out her father’s attempt to kill Rahee. On the day of their birthday, Rahee request to meet with Sohee. Sehun went and greeted Sohee, then love-at-first-sight happened. duh duh dummm. Luhan and Yixing follow them into the forest.

Chapter 6: Rahee meets with the dragon, Yang. I assume she received power from the fire dragon and completed her transformation. P.S. Sohee, Damn gurl. The differences between Sohee and Rahee is interesting. Luhan and Yixing enter the forbidden forest. Chanyeol meets with Rahee to help her with her power, and she slowly discover her power. Chanyeol’s character is so playful. P.S. -whispers- Chanyeol is my babe. Rahee and Sohee leaves the forest with Luhan and Yixing. Jongin, *Cough* secret admirer, was watching Rahee leave.

Chapter 7: Luhan asked to pretend they never met. The sisters went back into the Go clan’s house. Rahee’s secret is hidden with Sohee. Sohee discovered by Baekhyun about the fast she was not in her chamber the whole night. Lol at Luhan’s sly acting tho. Luhan is interested in Rahee?  Rahee turned angry when Luhan mention about Minister Go knowing the existence of the wolves. She pins a hair pin against his neck. Luhan finds her amusing and fun. #RahanShipsails. They meet as a group to help Rahee to figure out her power. I wonder why Jongin hates Rahee. Seems like Luhan will discover her secret soon.

Chapter 8: The Alpha is getting weaker. So why haven’t Rahee healed yet? Baekhyun questioned Sohee’s reason for disappearing that whole night. Sohee misses Sehun. Aww. SoHun ship? Yixing is like a little ninja knowing everything without being notice. Luhan wants her to accompany him to the Dragon Village. Sehun was following Sohee. Lmao I couldn’t stop laughing at him calling her his mate. #cute. Luhan brings her into the forbidden forest, but the alpha didn’t show up. Jongin showed up and discover Rahee is his other half. He has Dragon, Yin. #YinYang #Iseewhatyoudidthere

Grammar/Errors (13/15):

I did spot a few thing, but it didn’t distract me from reading. I recommend to reread each chapter carefully and pick out the mistakes. I remember a few mistakes on conjunction, but I could find it after I finished reading. You might want to doubt check just incase.

P.S. Here is a website to assist you with conjunctions. http://www.getitwriteonline.com/archive/032601startsentandbut.htm

Overall Enjoyment (4/5):

I enjoy reading it. The storyline is very detailed and well organized, but I do hope the problems between characters are easier to pin down. However, I really enjoy the transition of the story, and fall in love with some awesome characters. I love to read the quotes at the beginning of the story.

Bonus:

Feel to request me again for other stories. I couldn’t use our newly made rubric, because I started before the new rubric. I apologize for any harsh criticism. Happy writing.

Points Total: (63/70)

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