NOTE: (Spoiler Alert)

(4/5) Title: 

A bit cheesy, but it works. Perfectly acceptable and fitting in every single way.

(32/35) Characterization: 

As a reviewer, I place particularly heavy significance on characterization, as the characters are usually the ones who drive the plot and resonate with the readers to create the emotional bonds. In most cases, the plot flows on its own with no true emotional regard for its characters, and this is a flaw on the author's part should he or she have intended for the reader to connect with its plot drivers. However, you manage the characterization wonderfully. The lost and hopeless soul that is Mark, the awful but uncontrollable past that shadows his heart of shattered gold, and the path he is forced to take as a result — all were wonderully interwoven into the thriller plot that allowed the reader to glimpse into the past while simultaneously feeling the thrill of the present. You take gradual steps with his short and broken sentences that reflect the loneliness of his life. The reader comes to know of the true feelings of empty guilt and isolation that come with his despicable actions. Without this crucial characterization, the reader would obviously come to despise Mark as a character, but you managed it with effortless prose and eloquence. Some parts were a little too excessive, but otherwise flowed well with the structure.

(6.5/10) Originality: 

Heartbreak as a result of a shattered past is far from a new topic, and characters like Mark are very common for a genre such as this. However, you characterize him and the environment quite well — enough for the reader to accept the story as an individual work.

(37/40) Plot/Flow: 

Very nice. The time skips, rather than detract from the reading value, seem like the start of new chapters, and that suits stories like this quite well. The brevity of each "chapter" allows for the continued thrill and anticipation that drives the reader to remain attentive. I especially love your attention to detail. Every little tidbit showed a glimpse into the personality and temperament of each character, and you waste no time doing so. The mixing of personality and plot was achieved masterfully under standards by which most on this site cannot even compare.

(8.5/10) Grammar/Mechanics: 

There are some grammatical errors (mainly in tense), but no noticeable spelling or punctuation errors. Nothing major.

(4/5) Overall Enjoyment (Does Not Factor Into Score): 

I enjoyed this story for what it was, and the moral value it held. That twist at the end was something that was not exactly necessary, but certainly carried character impact for Mark and the people at the scene. Despite all, I felt it was merely a "good work" by you rather than a significant one. Surely, every part of it was carefully designed and composed to contribute to the overall thrill of the story; however, I can tell this is not one that will serve to you a "best-seller," per se. Wonderful characterization and movement regardless.

(88/100) Points Total

Bonus:

I'm sorry for reviewing so late, and I'm sorry if it looks like I've lost some of my writing skills looking at this review. It is true I have become more vague and less specific; call it a result of laziness or lack of motivation. I enjoyed your story, though. That is a truth.

Thank you for choosing BLK Reviews and for your patience! Hope to hear from you again!

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