Worlds Apart - writerFairy

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 Worlds Apart
Review
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NOTE: (Spoiler Alert)

Please excuse any errors in judgment, for I am not accustomed to reviewing action genres.

(4/5) Title

I found no serious issues with the title; I understand the context as well as the connotations. My one minor grumble is its vagueness as well as its overuse. Otherwise, I have no complaints.

(25/35) Characterization

I thought you did a wonderful job with the characterization, particularly with the growth of Suho. He went from being a timid and obedient boy to a potentially formidable foe to his own allies. The strong character and resolve of Ari had much to thank for this; hence, she is more than suited for the role of main protagonist in the story. The main issue that caused for the ten point deduction was the confusion amongst the characters; there are so many that you can't even keep track of them all without referring back to the character chart that's posted in the Foreword. Not all of the characters were properly introduced, either.

(8/10) Originality

Perhaps the werewolf genre may seem a bit clichéd and outdated for today's tastes, but I found the tone and mood nevertheless thrilling. The anticipation you build in the fear and excitement of the characters resonates with the reader, as well as the tender emotions that result.

(29/40) Plot/Flow

The prologue was absolutely wonderful in its emotional thrill and heartbreak. I was immediately captivated and continued reading with no regret from there on out. However, the mood somewhat diminished following those first two prologues. It became somewhat more of a slice-of-life what with the main characters being normal high school students otherwise. However, I understood that it was intended as a context to real life, and you managed that smoothly. At times, you depend too much on dialogue, and manage to take up about 1/3 of the chapter with mere dialogue and chat and no description. That is my major criticism for the story. Other parts were fine for the most part. At times, the plot would slow down to a gradual halt, but that would quickly be resolved by the grasp of a new plot that revitalizes the previously lost excitement. (Watch out for time skips, though.)

(6/10) Grammar/Mechanics

There are numerous noticeable spelling and punctuation errors throughout the story. No matter how minor the error, the mere presence of a structural mistake can detract from the reading value. Your general grammar appears to be fine, so I encourage you to make those minor edits in order to touch up on the reading experience just a bit.

(4/5) Overall Enjoyment (Does Not Factor Into Score): 

Though I do love reading action and adventure, I haven't really had as much in-depth experience with the subject as I have had with the much more popular genre of romance here on AFF. So please do not take this review's criticisms to a serious heart or think of me as a master critic of adventure. Nevertheless, I did really enjoy myself throughout the series. The chapters may have been a bit too long for my tastes; however, the thrill and anticipation kept me going for far longer than I expected. The character relationships are wonderful, and though no particular character appears especially deep, there is certainly no harm in establishing those warm, human relationships in which we readers love to indulge.

(72/100) Points Total

Bonus:

It has truly been an action-packed experience reading this carefully crafted story. By the consistency of your updates, I can tell that you planned rather than improvised. I will remain happily subscribed to your story in hopes of another update. I apologize for the delayed review.

 

Feel free to message me if you have any further questions.

Thank you for choosing BLK Reviews and for your patience! Hope to hear from you again!

Please don't forget to credit our shop's logo/banner in your Foreword.

Reviewer: KPopAnimeFanatic
Review for: writerFairy

Requested on: 03/19/2015
Finished On: 05/09/2015
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WooGyu_KyuSung_YooSu
#1
One more thing. I know the Description and the forward are super long. But I planned this story to be like a Novella/Soap Opera.
It may seem like I'm giving away to much in the Description and The Forward, but as you realize you might notice that I haven't.
There are three main parts to this story:
The Past-Childhood
The Past- Orphans/Teens
The Present- The main setting, in which the forward revealed nothing.

I'm an interactive author, meaning I ask questions at the end and leave hints here and there for the readers to try there best at guessing. (They become more invested in my story this way, lol)
WooGyu_KyuSung_YooSu
#2
-Username : WooGyu_KyuSung_YooSu
-Profile link : http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/49463

- Story title : Love Me Right
- Story link : http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/976222/love-me-right-mpreg-hunhan-taoris-kaisoo-sulay-chanbaek-chenmin

-Genre : OT12, Angst, Mpreg, Fluff, Comedy, Growth, Friendship, Life, and "LEARNING TO LOVE"

- On-going | To be a long fic.

- Reviewer : KaihleeLo

- So The title of the fic is "Love Me Right", but it has nothing to do with the EXO song; even though some would just assume. The reason why I titled it 'Love Me Right' is because 6 of the main characters suffered in their childhood and eventually were orphaned. They don't know how to let themselves love. In particular, Luhan. As for the other 6 'Love' and 'Lust' are two different things.

- So before you read, I would like to point out, that the pacing of the story and the built up is exactly how I planned. I don't want to rush Romance because you don't 'fall in love' over night, and the characters need to mature. Also, there is a pattern to my chapters "The Past" chapters are essentially flashbacks. "The Present" is taking place now. For every 5 "The Present" chapters, it will be followed by 2 "The Past" chapters; Childhood/Teen years.

- I have a reader who offered to proofread my chapters since I had some typos, and I don't have the time to go back and fix them. "I always update between 12 am - 5 am, so that is the main reason". She is still editing the earlier chapters so please realize I am fixing the errors.


Oh gosh this was a lot. I'm sorry. I'm just really nervous, and I wanted to explain the above before you review.
-Tigress-
#3
Chapter 127: Hey can I have someone send me my review here so I can save it?
This archive is non-selectable so I can't save it myself.