School 2015: Reset

BLK's Review Shop ACHIEVE
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BONUS: I TRIED TO ANSWER EVERYTHING IN YOUR REVIEW, IF YOU STILL HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, FEEL FREE TO PM ME. ALSO I AM SORRY THAT IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO REVIEW YOUR STORY.
 
 
 
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REVIEWS AND FOR YOUR PATIENCE! HOPE TO SEE YOU VISIT AGAIN.
 
 
SUMMERDUST
REQUEST ON: 10/9/15
REVIEWER: BLACKROSESTEARS
FINISHED ON: 11/10/15
SCORE: 96/100
TITLE: (10/10)
LOGICAL (3/3) - THE TITLE IS REALLY GOOD IN COMBINATION WITH THE STORIES PLOT BECAUSE IT IS INTERESTING AND EYE-CATCHING. AT THE SAME IT ALSO SHOWS THAT IT IS NOT THE SEQUEL TO SOMETHING. 
EYE-CATCHING (3/3) - I THOUGHT THAT YOUR TITLE IS REALLY INTERESTING AND WANTED TO KNOW WHAT THIS STORY WILL EXACTLY BE ABOUT.
ORIGINAL (4/4) - IT IS AN REALLY ORIGINAL TITLE, THERE ARE NO OTHER STORIES WITH THE SAME OR A SIMILAR TITLE WITH MAKES YOUR STORY EVEN MORE UNIQUE THAT IT ALREADY IS.
 
STORY'S FOREWORD/DESCRIPTION (10/10)
STORY'S SUMMARY (5/5) - YOUR FOREWORD IS REALLY INTERESTING, IT GRABBED MY ATTENTION RIGHT AWAY AND I WANTED TO READ IT RIGHT AWAY. YOU DON'T REVEAL TOO MUCH OF THE STORY AND IT IS WELL WRITTEN.
THE ONLY THING THAT I WOULD SUGGEST HERE IS TO MAKE A NOTE WHETHER YOU NEED TO KNOW THE DRAMA OR NOT IN ORDER TO UNDERSTAND THE STORY.
APPEARANCE (5/5) - THE STRUCTURE AND THE APPEARANCE OF YOUR FOREWORD AND DESCRIPTION OVERALL IS GOOD TOO.
 
CHARACTERS/CASTS (9/10)
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT (5/5) - I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT SOME OF YOUR CHARACTERS ARE A BIT HARD TO UNDERSTAND AT FIRST.
MY EXAMPLE WOULD BE EUNBI WHO IS REALLY MYSTERIOUS, SHE HAS THIS SECRET, THIS PROBLEM BUT DOESN'T WANT OTHERS TO HELP HER. SHE PUTS A WALL BETWEEN HERSELF AND HER FRIENDS, ALSO HER BOYFRIEND BUT THAT IS NOT WHAT I THOUGHT WAS HARD TO UNDERSTAND BUT THE WAY SHE ACTED TOWARDS HER SISTER WHEN SHE FIRST SAW HER. IT WAS KIND OF AWKWARD TO READ. IT WAS ALMOST LIKE EUNBI DIDN'T REALLY CARE THAT HER SISTER IS BACK AND THAT WAS A BIT WEIRD AT LEAST FOR ME BECAUSE IT SOUNDED MORE LIKE THEY REALLY CARE FOR EACH OTHER AND WOULD BE REALLY HAPPY TO BE TOGETHER AGAIN.
EUNBYUL IS A REALLY BRAVE WOMAN FOR ME TO ADMIT HER FEELINGS TOWARDS THE GUY SHE LIKES WHO DOESN'T LIKE HER BACK. BUT NOT ONLY THAT WAS SOMETHING I LIKED ABOUT HER, NO, I ALSO LIKED HOW SHE BEHAVES LIKE SHE DOESN'T CARE WHAT OTHERS THINK ABOUT HER, SHE ALSO SEEMS TO DO AND SAY WHATEVER SHE WANTS TO DO AND SAY WHICH SHOWS US A NICE CONTRAST BETWEEN HER AND HER SISTER BECAUSE EUNBI SEEMS TO BE MORE QUIET AND THOUGHTFUL. AND THEN THERE ARE STILL SOME CHARACTER TRAITS THAT THEY DO HAVE IN COMMON: THEY BOTH PREFER TO DEAL WITH THEIR PROBLEMS ALONE WITHOUT THE HELP OF THEIR FRIENDS.
FOR TAEKWANG: HE WAS LIKE THE TYPICAL BAD BOY TO ME AT FIRST BUT THE MORE EUNBYUL TALKED TO HIM WE GOT TO KNOW HIM BETTER. HE SEEMS TO BE THOUGHTFUL AND HE REALLY CARES FOR EUNBI BUT ALSO FOR EUNBYUL. HE DOESN'T BELIEVE EUNBYUL AT FIRST THAT SHE REALLY LIKES HIM BUT EVENTUALLY HAS TO ACCEPT IT AS THE TRUTH, STILL HE TRIES TO NOT HURT HER TOO MUCH IN A NOT REALLY CLEVER WAY: HE TELLS HER THAT HE DOESN'T LIKE HER AND WANTS HER TO SAY THAT SHE DOESN'T LIKE HIM THAT MUCH TOO, THAT IT REALLY WAS JUST A JOKE. THEN THERE IS THIS THING WITH HIS FATHER, I THINK IT WAS, HERE I AM NOT SURE WHAT EXACTLY IS THE PROBLEM BETWEEN THEM BUT I AM SURE THAT WE WILL FIND OUT THROUGH THE FUTURE CHAPTERS.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I SHALL SAY ABOUT YOOBI AND MINHYUK BECAUSE THEY SEEM TO BE NICE AND HAVE A CONNECTION TO THE MAIN CHARACTERS BUT I CAN'T HELP BUT TO FEEL LIKE THEY WILL PLAY AN IMPORTANT ROLE. MY GUTS TELLS ME THAT AT LEAST ONE OF THE TWO HAS TO DO SOMETHING WITH THE SECRET OF EUNBI.

 
CHARACTER'S RELATIONS (4/5) - I WON'T GIVE YOU THE FULL POINTS HERE BECAUSE OF THE SCENE I TALKED ABOUT ABOVE. BUT I WILL STILL GIVE YOU 4 POINTS BECAUSE ALL IN ALL I LIKED YOUR DIALOGS AND HOW THEY ACTED TOWARDS EACH OTHER.
 
THE AUTHOR'S MINDSET (39/40)
LOGICALLY (10/10) - IT IS EASY TO RELATE TO YOUR STORY BECAUSE WE ALL HAVE SECRETS AND OF COURSE WE WANT TO KEEP THEM AND JUST LIKE WE WANT TO KEEP THEM THERE ARE OTHERS THAT WANT TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THEM. THEN THERE IS THE ASPECT OF THE UNREQUITED LOVE THAT MANY CAN RELATE TO TOO. 
ORIGINALITY (9/10) - OVERALL I CAN'T SAY THAT IT IS AN ORIGINAL PLOT WITH A PERSON THAT HAS A SECRET AND OTHERS THAT WANT TO FIND IT OUT OR A GIRL THAT LOVES SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T LOVE HER BACK BUT I LIKE THE WAY YOU WRITE IT BECAUSE THIS DOES MAKE IT A BIT MORE UNIQUE.
TONE (5/5) - THE TONE IS SOMETHING MYSTERIOUS BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY SECRETS THAT HAVE TO BE SOLVED AND CHARACTERS LIKE YOOBI  MAKE THIS EVEN MORE INTENSE BECAUSE WE DON'T KNOW THAT MUCH ABOUT HER SO FAR. BUT THERE ARE ALSO MOMENTS THAT SHOW A PIECE OF ROMANCE LIKE WHEN EUNBI MEETS UP WITH HER BOYFRIEND AND THAT MATCHES PRETTY GOOD WITH THE MYSTERIOUS VIBE BECAUSE IT MAKES THE STORY A BIT MORE CASUAL.
NARRATION (5/5) - THE POVS ARE REALLY GOOD. YOU CHANGE THEM FROM TIME TO TIME SO WE ARE ABLE TO SEE HOW THE CHARACTERS THINK ABOUT THE SAME SITUATION BUT THEY DON'T NEED TO HAVE THE SAME OPINION/ REACTION WHICH IS REALLY INTERESTING AT SOME POINTS OF THE STORY. ALSO I THINK IT MAKES THE STORY EVEN MORE INTERESTING.
STORYLINE (10/10) - THE PLOT IS GOOD SO FAR, I REALLY LIKE YOUR WRITING STYLE BECAUSE IT IS EXCITING TO READ EVERY CHAPTER. THE YOU STARTED YOUR STORY WITH A PROLOG THAT WAS ALREADY REALLY INTERESTING BECAUSE IT IS A MIDDLE SCENE OF THE STORY. IT MAKES EVEN MORE CURIOUS ABOUT THE STORY AND GRABS THE ATTENTION OF THE READING BECAUSE OF THE QUESTIONS: HOW DID SHE END UP THERE AND WHY? BUT ALSO WHAT WILL HAPPENED AFTER THAT SCENE. WHAT I ALSO LIKED WAS HOW SOME OF YOUR CHAPTERS STARTED AND ENDED WITH QUOTES ABOUT A TOPIC THAT IS CONNECTED TO THE STORY, FOR EXAMPLE RIGHT AT THE START WITH THE SENTENCES ABOUT SECRETS.
YOUR DESCRIPTIONS OF THE SITUATIONS AND THE CHARACTERS ARE PRETTY GOOD TOO AND MAKE IT PRETTY EASY TO UNDERSTAND AND TO CONNECT TO THE STORY AND ITS SITUATIONS. THROUGH THE CHAPTERS THAT YOU WROTE SO FAR WE ALWAYS FOUND OUT SOMETHING NEW THAT COULD BE IMPORTANT FOR THE FUTURE OF THE STORY, IT KEEPS THE STORY INTERESTING BECAUSE YOU WANT TO KNOW FOR EXAMPLE THE MEANING BEHIND THE WRISTWATCH OF MINHYUK THAT COULD BE THE SAME ONE THAT EUNBI HAS AT HOME.
YOU DON'T RUST THROUGH THE STORY BUT TAKE YOUR TIME WITH EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS WHICH IS REALLY GOOD BECAUSE IT PREVENTS THE READER FROM GETTING CONFUSED WHILE READING.

 
 
PROPER USE OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (23/25)
PROPER GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION (8/10) - OVERALL YOUR GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION IS GOOD, THERE ARE ONLY SOME SMALL MISTAKES:
GO EUNBYUL LIKES HER [HIM].
 
EVEN AFTER REPEATING IT IN HER [HIS] MIND OVER AND OVER HE STILL CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
 
"WHEN DID I [I] LIE TO YOU?"
"YES, I [I] DO LIKE YOU"
YOU SOMETIMES WRITE I NOT AS A CAPITAL LETTER.
TERMINOLOGY (5/5) - YOUR VOCABULARY IS GOOD, THERE IS NO OVERUSE OF THE SAME WORDS OR PHRASES. 
LANGUAGE BARRIER (10/10) - THERE IS ALSO NO OVERUSE OF THE KOREAN LANGUAGE SO NOTHING TO SAY HERE.
 
REVIEWER'S ENJOYMENT (5/5)
OVERALL I HAVE TO SAY I ENJOYED READING YOUR STORY BECAUSE I THINK IT IS REALLY INTERESTING AND WELL WRITTEN. ALSO SO FAR YOU DON'T NECESSARILY NEED TO KNOW THE DRAMA TO UNDERSTAND THIS STORY WHICH MADE IT EASIER FOR ME BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW IT/ DIDN'T SEE IT.
SO CONTINUE WITH THIS GOOD WORK, I WILL CONTINUE TO READ IT TO SEE HOW IT WILL TURN OUT IN THE END.
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Comments

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WooGyu_KyuSung_YooSu
#1
One more thing. I know the Description and the forward are super long. But I planned this story to be like a Novella/Soap Opera.
It may seem like I'm giving away to much in the Description and The Forward, but as you realize you might notice that I haven't.
There are three main parts to this story:
The Past-Childhood
The Past- Orphans/Teens
The Present- The main setting, in which the forward revealed nothing.

I'm an interactive author, meaning I ask questions at the end and leave hints here and there for the readers to try there best at guessing. (They become more invested in my story this way, lol)
WooGyu_KyuSung_YooSu
#2
-Username : WooGyu_KyuSung_YooSu
-Profile link : http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/49463

- Story title : Love Me Right
- Story link : http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/976222/love-me-right-mpreg-hunhan-taoris-kaisoo-sulay-chanbaek-chenmin

-Genre : OT12, Angst, Mpreg, Fluff, Comedy, Growth, Friendship, Life, and "LEARNING TO LOVE"

- On-going | To be a long fic.

- Reviewer : KaihleeLo

- So The title of the fic is "Love Me Right", but it has nothing to do with the EXO song; even though some would just assume. The reason why I titled it 'Love Me Right' is because 6 of the main characters suffered in their childhood and eventually were orphaned. They don't know how to let themselves love. In particular, Luhan. As for the other 6 'Love' and 'Lust' are two different things.

- So before you read, I would like to point out, that the pacing of the story and the built up is exactly how I planned. I don't want to rush Romance because you don't 'fall in love' over night, and the characters need to mature. Also, there is a pattern to my chapters "The Past" chapters are essentially flashbacks. "The Present" is taking place now. For every 5 "The Present" chapters, it will be followed by 2 "The Past" chapters; Childhood/Teen years.

- I have a reader who offered to proofread my chapters since I had some typos, and I don't have the time to go back and fix them. "I always update between 12 am - 5 am, so that is the main reason". She is still editing the earlier chapters so please realize I am fixing the errors.


Oh gosh this was a lot. I'm sorry. I'm just really nervous, and I wanted to explain the above before you review.
-Tigress-
#3
Chapter 127: Hey can I have someone send me my review here so I can save it?
This archive is non-selectable so I can't save it myself.