Regret - SeptemberRsin
BLK's Review Shop ACHIEVE
Story: Regret
Requestor's Username: SeptemberRsin
Reviewer's AFF Name: KaihleeLo
Date Received - Date Completed: 15 August 2014 - 15 August 2014
NOTE: This story is Rated M - One Shot (May contain spoilers)
Cover/Poster by LovelyBless
(9/10) Title: "Regret", I can see how it ties to the beginning and ending regarding both Jaejoong and Yunho so nice work!
(9/10) Character: Since it was a one shot story, I can't say there are character development; however, each character's existence in that short amount of time was flawless and each played a significant role. Kudos there! They both really love each other so that was super cute.
(9/10) Originality: The story feels very real and original. I didn't expect Yunho to die in the end! So that was a good twist to it.
(37/40) Storyline/Plot: I love the storyline, Jaejoong reveal near the end why he broke up with Yunho. The flasback confused me a little since I thought Yunho getting shot and Jaejoong being tied was part of the flashback, with the phonecall. Then I realize it was two different scenes and Yunho had receieved the call before that rainy day (correct?). I was surprised Yunho was rich (lol), didn't see that coming.
(20/25) Grammar/Errors: Your tenses weren't very straightforward, they were mix. There were a few errors where words are left out, areas that lack comas, and mispelled words. Other than that, I love some of the vocabulary, it was quite vast and not limited. That's a plus!
"you're" = you are (depending on how it's being used. But in the description, you are*)
(5/5) Overall Enjoyment: I enjoyed it. It was cheesy but entertaining. Then again, I always enjoy your stories (haha). Nicely done!
(89/100) Points Total
Bonus: Your questions and focuses for us:
Grammar: under Grammar/Errors
Feel free to message me if you have any further questions.
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