Onew VS Key - LovelyBless
BLK's Review Shop ACHIEVE
Story: Onew VS Key
Requestor's Username: LovelyBless
Reviewer's AFF Name: LAVI1903
Date Received - Date Completed: 15 August 2014 - 15 August 2014
NOTE: One Shot - Two Chapters/Completed
(10/10) Title: It really works as the title name, and a competition.
(9/10) Character: Onew is very funny and I love how you fit him with his condition very well. Key is like those funny dramatic enemies who find lots of outrageous ways for revenge. I like how Taemin and Jonghyun's personalities fit well with the humor.
(10/10) Originality: You explain Onew and Key's relationship well, and the outcome of how the 2 had fely towards it, like where it had began.
(38/40) Storyline/Plot: Sometimes it got confusing on which one the people were talking about. You should give hint of who you're talking about at the time. The plot was well done and placed.
(24/25) Grammar/Errors: Just a few that you had in the wrong form, like opening instead of opened. You just need to pay attention to that. At the end of the first chap. you didn't put an end quote and start quote for the different girls speaking. When you wrote,"* Hand in the hair.*" Did you mean in the air in Chp.2? But there's no major issues in grammar.
(5/5) Overall Enjoyment: I enjoyed the whole story. Especially when Key was complaining to Taemin and Jonghyun.
(96/100) Points Total
Bonus: Your questions and focuses for us:
Did you get the comedy and laugh?
Yeah! I like the humor and comedy of the story. I really liked how you added chicken and their personalities dramatically.
What's your favorite part?
It was the comedy, their funny personalities, and how Onew named all the obstacles in his life,Mr. and Mrs.
Feel free to message me if you have any further questions.
Thank you for choosing BLK Reviews and for your patience! Hope to hear from you again!
Please don't forget to credit our shop's logo/banner in your Foreword.
Comments