Spin The Bottle

Title(4/5)

I love it! I love it! It fits perfectly because that game 'Spin The Bottle' is where everything started! So it really that wonderful connection of the storyline. The problem is, the capitalization. I really am sure it should be 'Spin the Bottle' not 'Spin The Bottle'. It's true that when it comes to titles or names, it should always be in capital as well as the word 'The'. Take note that the word 'The' is only in capital letter when it comes to senteces (ex. The woman is pretty.) but since the word 'the' is in the middle, so make it in small letter. See the difference? Well, I hope you did.

Poster & Background & Trailer(10/10)

Everything looked so awesome! The posters are daebak! Each bottle had a person in it and that is why I think it’s so cool, magical yet unrealistic but that’s why it’s amazing, because it has adorable graphic designs, brushes and textures! As well as the chapters different posters! Plus, the bottle thing where you put a person (I kept repeating that right?). I just think that the bottle was really the greatest choice for the poster props and it sure fits the title. The trailer is also good. I’m giving you full marks here!

Description & Foreword(9/10)
It was fascinating. It made me wonder how the girls would have the control when the boys started that silly game (I call that silly) spin the Bottle.

What I don’t understand is why everything is in capital letters.

I don’t really agree that you make them in capital letters (as in all of them?) No.

At least, like this, with not all in capital even if this was supposed to be a lyrics or a poem.

“Let’s play Spin the Bottle!” Yoseob exclaimed from his bunk bed.

And so on. It was in your first chapter, I guess. So, just don’t type everything in capitals because it looks awkward.

Plot(9/10)
I'm not that amazed with the plot, but I enjoyed reading this story/novel. It wasn't predictable and I could feel every tension happening in the story. The way you described what they were up to made everything better and interesting. The game the girls decided was really fun and that was what I had been waiting all the time, for their deal to happen and end.

Anyway, I personally pick myself to review your story because I was really attracted to your title and poster. The plot is too, it’s something I would enjoy when I'm bored. Not that I'm a ert (but sometimes reading Rated M stories makes me unable to control myself from reading it; even imagining things). I know I'm still young but I love the way everything flowed in the story.

How the girls made an unbelievable deal, how I think they are such cute flirts who are not innocent at all and how the boys got so attached and attracted to them like that. Just that sometimes I think there is no true love; rather everything is just for fun and its kinda annoying in my side how the girls are so seductive in a way they don’t care which guy they would have a dare with.

Hardcore scenes are always scary but sometimes it is tantalizing. The helicopter thing Asuri did with Doojoon, the innocent and simple Mika turning seductive over her seductive boyfriend and with other girls in their with so much tension. Look here:

It's the boys who started the game.

But it's the girls who'll take control.

Having that kind of description made it mind blowing! It would surely appeal to both girls and boys teenagers and young-adults (okay, so not sure if they read hardcore ).

Now, let's go to the characters.

I love Asuri's role here, how she started the next deal about boys...and how short she is in my mind...how she kissed different guys in B2ST. Wow, she's lucky and she's fun but sometimes I don't like it like that, because I believe she should not kiss and have with different guys (not that she's the only one)... Haha, it's just that, I got affected with her the most because I think she's the most confident among the girls and she's the one who created that plan in the first place (not the Spin the Bottle).

Chohee, I like her role also because she obviously didn’t want to play 'Spin the Bottle', also because she has a boyfriend already. That’s really nice of her but sometimes, I find her attitude very weak but cute!

Justyna is y, from her name itself. She wasn’t afraid or shy; she would do whatever it was for the game just like the other girls. Mika, I didn’t know anything much about her.  I thought she’s just a bit of a quiet type person but hey! She’s not just that, she actually have some hidden personality. All of them have. I’m not going to talk about the boys (B2ST) and the other girls since that would only be long. All I can say is that, I love the character development although there are times I tend to hate one of the main girls.

I initially reviewed this last week but only wrote it down on a notebook and also it was unfinished at first since I didn't finish reading it that time.

Originality(8/10)

I am glad to see that there are fresh ideas, twist in the story and the originality of each character's personality.

The dare in the Spin the Bottle is not very original. In fact, it is overused. Sometimes used in random stories chapters but as far as I know, this is the first story about the game spinning the bottle where everything is hardcore dares and the boys started it but the girls controlled it. Other than that, I’m not a very huge fan of stories, so basically, I don’t know if every scenes are original but for me, it was just enjoyable to read. It left me breathless.

The characters are well- developed, they had their own interesting attitude: flirt, shy, simple, ty or innocent. Added with an element of surprise in the story; , the fun I felt with Asuri's plans and most especially the positive thing of the fact Chohee’s pregnant. That one! It was unexpected. Firstly, because the title chapter was ‘Positive’ and the first scenes were with Yue and Hyunseong and then all of the sudden, ChoHee appears hiding and saying ‘It’s positive…I’m pregnant’. Wow!  

I also like the different kinds of , helicopter, hardcore or normal . The scenes, from bed, living room, the pool, the elevator or anything. Different settings of made everything even better.

So creative and intriguing.

Flow(4/5)

It was fast but I like it that way. The first scene was with the boys planning to invite the girls and play 'Spin the Bottle', which was a little boring though it was only the introduction. Aside from that, the rest went smoothly.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary(27/30)

It was almost perfect. Some punctuation went missing. I saw it in Chapter 1 and in another chapter, where you write something like this "Show me what you got! Asuri cheered.

It's not a big deal in my opinion, but I had to tell you so that when you ask for reviews from others, they won’t see that you missed another quotation mark.

Also a part where you typed ‘erjoying’ instead of ‘enjoying’. I really am sure you have edited that but I did saw that one mistake back when I first read your story before the AFF incident.

Another is capitalization. Make sure that after a period, three or whatsoever, the next word should start in a capital letter and it would end up with a period or a comma.

There wasn't any major ones. I might have missed something though, maybe the latest chapters I read (last week) I did not list them down anymore.

Overall, I think you are great.

Writing Style(9/10)

It’s not the best, but it was really good I love the way you described and expressed the emotions in words, the drama, and the suspenseful iness of the story.

Overall Enjoyment(9/10)

I’m not a big fan of B2ST but I enjoyed this story very much. It was very entertaining and I thank you for making an interesting story like this.

Total Score – 89/100%

Congratulations! Your story will be in the recommended list!

Reviewed by: sususco123

Reviewer’s Note: I apologize if this is late. I was busy these days because of my final exam but I almost finished reading this story last week and continued it today. Your review is done. Sorry if it wasn’t that detailed. I did my best. Anyway , I am putting your story in the recommended list!