One Sided Love

Title (3/5)
If I were to search around AFF looking for a fanfic, I probably wouldn’t have clicked on this ff because the title isn’t really eye-catching. Anyone could have picked a title like this.

Also, when choosing a title, the title should always reflect what the story is about. In your case, in the beginning of the story you have Yuna having this one-sided love for Myungsoo and that’s really great because that reflects off the title. But then as the story start to progress, it just kind of… flopped; because this one-sided love isn’t really one-sided anymore. Myungsoo now has the same feelings for Yuna and it’s pretty much just love from both of them. In other words, I think you should have chosen a different title.

Poster & Background & Trailer (8/10)
The poster is nice and all but I think the pictures look a bit off. They’re too squeezed— if that makes any sense. The background is cute lol. No trailer, so I won’t take off points for that.

Description & Foreword (4/10)
The description is okay, though I’ve seen lots like that. The foreword is nice. The only thing I’m going to say is the character information; it’s nice that you put it there but to be honest, I just kind of scanned through it. I’m not really one to look at those things because I think an author should be able to write about their character’s information in the fanfic itself rather than telling it to the reader firsthand. But that’s just me. Plus, on Yuna’s information, it sounded like she was a sweet shy girl but then once I read the chapters; she started to cuss a lot and even wanted to kill Hyuna. It gave me the feeling that maybe she wasn’t a sweet shy girl.

Plot (4/10)
The plot isn’t really original but it’s still nice. There’s just one problem I find with the plot though, I think you shouldn’t have added those side stories/characters.

What do I mean? Well, the general plot of story seems to be about Yuna having this one-sided love for Myungsoo but then he starts to date Hyuna. So then, it looks like, Yuna and Sungjong start to get close but then I guess it doesn’t really go anywhere because then you bring in Lee Kiseop— who by the way just happens to be one of my top bias in U-Kiss and I was actually really happy but then I was also disappointed. Kiseop was only in the fanfic for a couple of chapters and then he disappears. I think you could have done something different when Kiseop confessed to Yuna. I mean, I thought he was going to be some mean guy who will have Yuna as his own and he won’t let Myungsoo take her but then in the end, he just understands it that Yuna likes Myungsoo more and then… he’s gone. I feel like there wasn’t really any point for him to be written into the story in the first place.


Originality (4/10)
Not really an original because I bet I can another fanfic that looks similar to this one.


Flow (5/5)
The flow of the was actually really nice! It wasn’t lagging or going by too fast.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary (20/30)
Your grammar, punctuation, spelling and vocabulary were all nice, though there some mistakes in a couple of chapters but there weren’t a lot. The only thing that made me cringe was the part when you kept writing in “BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!” or you kept writing words in BIG LETTERS. It sounded too childish.

Writing Style (5/10)
Your writing style is pretty good though I think if you can get past the whole “BWAHAHA!!” then your writing would be better. Your use for words really impresses me. Then again, when writing, I think chapters should be filled with paragraphs not 2-3 sentences.

Don’t really know if this fits in the category but on your point of views, or POV’s, I’m going to admit that I didn’t really like it. I think you should have just stuck with Yuna’s POV instead of having multiple points of views. Or maybe you could have done a chapter with Yuna’s point of view written in a different font, then another chapter with Myungsoo’s with a different font. Then repeat.


Overall Enjoyment (6/10)
It was a pretty enjoyable fanfic, though I don’t think I would keep reading it because I feel like I know what’s going to happen at the end even if you twist it. I know I was just a bit harsh reviewing but I really think you can do better.

Total - 65/100%

reviewed by: vangbby

A/N: Yay! I love my new reviewer! :)