Love is difficult when he came

a. Title (2/5) - Could have been better. I've seen titles similar to this. Also, you should fix the capitalization. It should be: Love Is Difficult When He Came. Though, it doesn't really make sense too. I think it should be: Love Became Difficult When He Came.

b. Poster & Background & Trailer (9/10) - I loved the poster and the background. The two trailers were great, as well. Although I think the songs didn't match well. In the first trailer, you used A-Yo by SHINee. It's a great song, don't get me wrong (It's actually one of my favourite songs haha), it doesn't match well.

c. Description & Foreword (9/10) - Description.. was well written. But the part where it says, "Let's check out the foreward below." was kind of.. iffy.

d. Plot (3/10) - Very cliched. The whole "who will she choose" love triangle thing has been used alot. And I mean, alot. With your own twists and turns on this over-used plot, you could make it a very interesting story that engages the reader and makes them want to read on.

e. Originality (3/10) - It wasn't very original. Since the story is just starting, though, you could maybe think of some ways to make it more unique.

f. Flow (5/5) - I feel the flow was a bit too slow. That's just me and my brain, though. The flow is fine. Although, some parts of the chapters made me feel bored.

g. Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary (20/30) - The title of the first chapter is supposed to be: Uniting with Friends Again. (Or Uniting With Friends Again, I'm not sure. My mind isn't working properly today, sorry!)
First Chapter Mistakes:

Error: It was a beautiful morning; Hyuna and Dongwoon were in front of their school.

Correction: It was a beautiful morning. Hyuna and Dongwoon were infront of their school.

Error: Their birthday's are on the same date but the year is different.

Correction: Their birthdates are on the same day but different years.

Error: "...And yeah, there will be a scary monster behind you!"

Correction: "...Also, there will be a scary monster behind you!" (You don't use 'and' at the beginning of a sentence.)

That's all the errors I'm going to point out. As I always say, you should read over your chapters to edit any mistakes you have.

h. Writing Style (9/10) - I liked the way you wrote, especially in the description/foreward. It was amazing. You could have expanded your vocabulary a bit though. Use more descriptive words that help make a visual in the reader's mind. Although the little gifs you added throughout the writing were cute, it would look much more professional without them. But, if you weren't aiming for a 'professional' story, then keep the gifs.

i. Overall Enjoyment (5/10) - At the beginning, I was a little bit curious as to what was going to happen (although I could already predict was was going to happen, since the plot was cliche.) But the chapters disappointed me a little bit. I know your just starting, and usually the start of stories are boring. But I was expecting something else, like right away action happens, or some sort of drama happens. You can make it more interesting as the chapters go on. For now, I wasn't really enjoying reading the chapters. (Maybe that's just because I like angsty/drama-ish stories more. :P)

Total - 65/100 %

reviewed by: xxSilverFox