Welcome Home, Hoya

Title (5/5)
It’s definitely an interesting title. I’ve never seen something like that before. I really like it.

Poster & Background & Trailer (8/10)
I really like the poster with its angsty, dark feel, and the movie credits at the bottom is a nice touch. However, the background doesn’t really fit. Maybe a simple dark solid color like black or brown with the title on it would work.  You don’t have a trailer, but that is optional, and I’m not taking points off for that.

Description & Foreword (7/10)
Thank you for not posting character profiles in your description/foreword! If I could, I would bake you cookies for eternity! You don’t know how many stories I’ve reviewed with character profiles when a simple character chart would’ve been better.

Ahem, anyway, the description was good! It really caught my attention. There were a few mistakes, but a simple revision would suffice. The second part of the description–the text in red–would fit the foreword much better.

A foreword is basically a teaser/sneak peek of the first chapter or the story in general, not a place for posting your credits, disclaimer, and authors note.

Plot (8/10)
I’ve read stories out there about two guys in love with one girl and such, but this storyline is very unpredictable. I honestly don’t know who Jae In will end up with.

Originality (10/10)
I’ve never read a story like this!

Flow (5/5)
The perfect speed so far.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary (20/30)
I know you said English is not your first language, but that’s no excuse. Since you have nine chapter, I’ll only point out some of your mistakes from chapter one.

You wrote: His dark brown shoes were really fits in his long feet and it made his appearance getting perfect.

Correction: His dark brown shoes matched his long feet, making his appearance perfect.

Your sentence makes sense, which is good. The problem, you see, is that you put too many unnecessary words in making then sentence structure confusing.

You wrote: He just slung a black bagpack over his shoulder. 

Correction: He slung a black bag pack over his shoulder. 

‘Just’ was unneeded and bag pack is two words.

You wrote: Many people were already busy with their phones, tried to reach their family, gave the news that they had arrived at Seoul.

Correction:  Many people were busy with their phones, trying to reach their family, giving the news that they’d arrived in Seoul.

Your sentence structure was confusing.

Your spelling and vocabulary are great. I suggest you request the service of editor or beta to help you with chapters.

Writing Style (10/10)
Even though some sentences are a bit confusing, I understand everything. Your style is easy to read.

Overall Enjoyment (10/10)
I truly enjoyed reading this. I’m not big on OCxIdol couples–I’m a fan girl–, but your story is really good! I even subscribed! Plus your story features Infinite, and I really love them! I really want Woohyun to get the girl in the end.

Total - 83/100

Reviewer: Kakurine039
Reviewer's Note: Keep up the good work. I'll look forward to your next chapter!