Will You Marry Me?

a.Title (2/5) : I've heard this everywhere. Fanfics, songs and etc. The clichés is too much, but yeah, it fits your story. It's just that, it doesn't have any creativity at all. I mean, there's a lot of fan fictions with titles Will You Marry Me but with just other characters.

b. Poster & Background & Trailer (9/10) : The poster is cute, looks sad and all. The little kid steals the spotlight, she's so cute. But really, it's amazing, the way it's edited, the motion-something (I forgot what they call that) but it makes the poster really catchy and adorable.

c. Description & Foreword (7/10) : Your description is interesting, you just gave the information we readers needed before reading the whole story. Your foreword too, but I don't like the way you write it.

d. Plot (6/10) : It's common, but I like the plot. Because of bankruptcy Yunho should find someone to marry her, and to do that, he studied really hard. And then, there's Minhee, the unknown woman who had a baby with Yunho, whether it's true or not. That's really annoying and way too common. However, the exam thing, I love that part because Yunho really tried his best. I like Yunho in your story, although he's not so good in class, he is actually really nice in personality and he cares for his family that he'd do anything for them.

Seo Yoon Lee and Yunho's first meeting was very romantic, sweet and yet intense. Yunho and the kid, those two are really cute, they are my favorite characters so far. Yunho cares for the kid, and I know it, it's so sweet, that's the creativity that I like best. About Seo Yoon Lee, I didn't like her, honestly. Especially when she slapped Yunho (OM, Yunho got slapped by his father already then he got slapped by a no one "soon to be wife") and because Yunho treated the kid like that? I got really mad at her or "me", although she's right at some point. I just hate myself, she doesn't even know what really happened but yeah, the reader knows everything.

I love Yunho's dream in the fifth chapter, and the last chapter to finish this review. I enjoyed it so much, so your points here isn't really low.

e. Originality (4/10) : It's dull and again, common. I hate marriages like this, or bankrupt thing and the child thing where the real mom leaves the child to the father, ask him to take care of the baby and disappear out of nowhere. It pisses me off, especially the child thing. Other readers might not find it common and all, but yeah, I'm one of those who are addicted to fanfics and have read this kind of fanfics before.

f. Flow (4/5)-  It was just going well, no problem with it. Smoothly, I can say both rush and slow. Slow, because it's short (only five chapters) but over-all, everything is moving fine.

g. Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary (15/30)
Your English is actually good, but not very good. You also can't write 'coz' when writing, it should be 'because'.

Camon is not right to write, it could have been "Come on" or "C'mon"

On chapter three, you spelled "caos" instead of "chaos".

On the next chapters, you just have to reread and edit the words like : dustbinand (you forgot to add a space when it should be dustbin and) Not really a big deal, I know, but it can confuse the readers.

"layed" is not a past tense of lay. Or maybe it should be "laid" (but that's a different meaning) or just "lay" since it's the same meaning, but not layed down.

"Hided" is also not a valid word. If you’re looking for "hide"'s past tense, it should be "hid".

You might also have accidentally misspelled "" instead of "But"

If you proofread more, you can actually make your wrong spellings correct.

Your punctuations should be checked too. Your vocabulary is fine, easy words but doesn't mean that it is bad.

h. Writing Style (5/10)
I honestly do not like the dialogue writing style. For example, when someone talks it's like this (random sentence):

-- Yeah yeah, right. But where did you hear it?

when it should have been "Yeah yeah, right. But where did you hear it/that?" (So, instead of using "-" just use "" <- That!

Sometimes, when you write that way, it made me as a reader, confused on who said that and this and something like that.

You're not that descriptive too, when you write, it's just simple and straight. So, it's fine.

i. Overall Enjoyment (8/10)
I enjoyed it fine, the intense happening with Seo Yoon Lee almost by the bad guys. The sad happening and shocking event with Yunho's father slapping him, and more surprisingly, a child they say is his child. The funny happenings from the very beginning when Seo Yoon Lee stayed in Yunho's home with Eun Sun. It was really fun, and I love it when the couple fights. Yoochun is a doctor here, it sounded really interesting. And don't be sad with your score, that's not really low.

Total: 61/100 %

reviewed by: sususco123