Blanket

Title (2/5)

I don’t particularly like the title of the story but I can see how it fits. Although I’m sure you had
the intention of naming it because of her pink polka dot blanket, but I saw it was Yuri being her
security blanket. But either way, I still don’t like the title; it’s too bland. You also don’t need to
put (one-shot) in the title if it’s in the tag.

Poster/Background/Trailer (0/10)

You used that picture because it had the pink blanket and I am confident saying this is what
inspired you to write the story. However, it’s not a good picture and not nearly clear enough to
be used for a poster. Although most people don’t make or requests for posters on a one-shot,
maybe you should have? Or not use and picture at all, but that picture is not interesting at all.

Description & Foreword (0/10)

The description and foreword are each one sentence long and neither of them is interesting.
Jessica’s new motto is hold pink blanket and Yuri? That’s just dumb and I would never read a
story with such a boring description. I know you can’t write too much without giving away the
entire story, but still.

Plot (5/10)

It wasn’t a very interesting plot, but it was a little cute. There was just too much random stuff in
it to have an actual plotline.

Originality (10/10)

Not much to really say, just that I doubt anyone else has written something like this.

Flow (2/5)

You jumped around a lot in this. One sentence you’re talking about one thing and the next it’s
another.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary (30/30)

Perfect!

Writing Style (4/10)

The story was very amateur and written poorly. It was one-dimensional and lacked emotion,
which is kind of pathetic since it’s supposed to be about Yuri and Jessica’s love for each other.

You wrote their characteristics so poorly that I cringed while reading this. I mean, how much
SNSD stuff have you watched? There’s so much out there and I’ve seen pretty much all of it and
have a pretty good idea of each of the girl’s personalities to know that you wrote them so badly.
I mean, Jessica is not some gushy, cuddly, clingly, whiny, annoying girl. And you wrote Yuri so
manly and she definitely is not! And did you make up that nickname Super Handsome Yuri or
whatever? Because her nickname is Black Pearl Yuri.

The story was just poorly written.

Overall Enjoyment (0/10)

Didn’t like it much, mostly because of how you portrayed them. But the idea in general was sort
of cute.

Total Score: 53/100%

reviewed by: peacelovehugs