Title (4/5)
The title is okay, I wouldn’t change it for another title since I guess it somewhat reflects off of your oneshot.

Poster & Background & Trailer (7/10)
There were two posters for this oneshot and I’m glad you picked the one being viewed when you click on the oneshot. It’s really nice and the blending looks really good! Kudos to the person you requested it from. I don’t really understand why you requested another poster though…. The background is pretty.

Description & Foreword (5/10)
The description was not a description; or at least not what I expected. I think you should have put the summary you wrote onto the description rather than writing about the oneshot’s information. The information should be at the bottom of the foreword.

The foreword is fine. I don’t have any problem with it.

Plot (6/10)
What I’m getting, from the plot, is a (typical) love story. Boy meets girl, girl meets boy. Boy and girl fall for each other but then there’s a complication so they have to be away from each other. Then girl meets another boy but then the first boy comes back and they get back together.

Originality (6/10)
Exactly what I said in the plot but I do like your version of it.

Flow (4/5)
It lacked a bit of speed; I found myself scanning through most of the oneshot but you picked it right up towards the end.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary (29/30)
Great grammar, punctuation, spelling and vocabulary though there was maybe one grammar problem but heck, I won’t take points off for that because the rest of the oneshot had pretty good grammar. I’m only taking one point off because I didn’t like the whole CAPITALIZATION stuff.

Writing Style (8/10)
Definitely loved the writing style but I think you can do a bit better by expanding your use of describing things. What do I mean? I think when you write flashbacks, you should write it out and not just jump into it with italics. Let the readers know what the character is feeling while jumping into the flashback and what the character sees.

Overall Enjoyment (6/10)
I’m not a big fan of oneshot since I, myself, cannot write a oneshot because I find them hard to write. But I will say that your oneshot was enjoyable. I just don’t understand why you wrote an epilogue when it was only a short (paragraph) with a bunch of dialogue.

Total - 75/100

reviewed by: vangbby